


Welcome to the Scene of the Crash

by sagansjagger



Series: She was Certainly the Spark for All I've Done [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste Acts Like Chat Noir, Adrien Agreste Is Sunshine, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Acts Like a Cat, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir and Food, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Parent Gabriel Agreste, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Violence, Cognitive Dissonance, Dissociation, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Feed Adrien Agreste, Malnutrition, Marichat | Adrien Agreste as Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Oblivious Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Sexual harassment in two chapters, Slow Burn, Starvation, canon-typical emotional abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:35:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 64,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23563156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/pseuds/sagansjagger
Summary: While Marinette struggles with assuming her role as the new Guardian, Adrien has a problem of his own: starvation, due to his cranked-up metabolism as Chat and his father's restrictive diet.Ladybug has been neglecting her Kitty, but Marinette realizes her mistake--almost too late.TRIGGER WARNING: Realistic descriptions of how starvation affects the body and mind.Complete.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Kagami Tsurugi, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth & Nathalie Sancoeur, Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Series: She was Certainly the Spark for All I've Done [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1710568
Comments: 1410
Kudos: 738





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [epcot97](https://archiveofourown.org/users/epcot97/gifts).



> I was inspired to write fanfiction--for the first time in about a decade--because of epcot97's (who is a fabulous author in their own right; go read their stuff, too!) headcanon about Chat and Ladybug's dramatically-increased metabolisms. I do not own Miraculous Ladybug or any of the characters therein; merely wish to play in the sandbox.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Realistic descriptions of how starvation affects the body and mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A minor note before we begin: Welcome! I am so pleased to have you as a reader. If you’ve come directly from one of my other stories, I’m so glad, thank you for supporting my work! But even if you haven’t, please allow me to greet you for the first time. 
> 
> This story is, in a word, frustrating. It’s painful. Welcome to the Scene of the Crash is all about unmet needs. Adrien is abused and oblivious, Marinette is in pain and struggling, and Lila features in a couple of chapters with themes of sexual harassment. Adrien also dissociates his identity throughout the entire fic.
> 
> If, at any point, you become too uncomfortable with the direction the story is going, dear reader, then please feel free to stop reading. I would not be offended in any way if you made this decision for yourself. I don’t want to chase you off, but I want you to be forewarned before diving in.
> 
> That being said, thank you for reading! I appreciate each and every one of you. On with the show!
> 
> -Cass

Adrien was starving.

The Black Cat Miraculous brought a lot of benefits--freedom to be himself, primarily--but it also cranked up his metabolism to eleven. Jumping around the city of Paris as Chat, literally throwing himself in harm’s way to protect his lady, did wonders for his model’s physique. Not to mention the near-constant adrenaline rush--if watching a horror movie burns 200 calories, a life-or-death experience nearly every day must burn much more. 

Almost a year into the job, Adrien expected to be putting on muscle due to his superhero duties. But he was actually _losing_ muscle mass--a lot of it. He’d always been lithe, more of a dancer than a bodybuilder, and his skintight, black leather suit certainly didn’t hide any of it. But now he was gaunt, his cheekbones sunken. 

There were other effects to starvation that he noticed as well. His heartbeat was thready, and constantly high; he didn’t know if that was due to his being hungry all the time or the adrenaline. Adrien tested his blood pressure once, and found it alarmingly high. He was always dehydrated, enough so that his lips and hands were chapped and cracked, even bleeding sometimes. Liberal use of Carmex and Lubriderm were only temporary fixes, and he knew it. 

His leanness (and chapped skin) was enough that he was constantly being chided by his makeup artists. One of them actually threatened to go to his father over Adrien’s restrictive diet, but he talked her off of the ledge because she would definitely lose her job.

Getting significantly less sleep than he needed also added to his constant lightheadedness. Due to the akuma-induced adrenaline rushes that needed hours to wind down from, his sleep schedule was shot. It didn’t help that Hawkmoth, after taking a short break after Chloe akumatized practically the entire city as Miracle Queen, ramped up his tactics, sending purple butterflies to vulnerable people at all hours of the day. For some reason, he especially enjoyed 3:30am.

To add to Adrien's problems comporting himself in front of his classmates and photographers, he was unusually surly. He’d snapped at Marinette, of all people, when she asked him how his evening had gone. That depressed him for weeks; depression and low self-esteem were old friends--he’d even gone to a therapist for a while after his mom disappeared--but he was alarmed at how he seemed to be slipping more and more into a depressed and anxious state. 

He’d even grown curt with Ladybug. Oh, she clearly knew something was wrong, and he regretted that he no longer flirted with her, but she was stressed herself at assuming the mantle of the Guardian, so they never seemed to examine each other’s problems. She bugged out and he helicoptered away as soon as they were done with the akumas these days. 

But that was… if not ideal, then at least fine. He was dating Kagami, so he couldn’t flirt with Ladybug. He still thought of her as his lady, but their relationship had completely changed--he hoped not irrevocably. 

And Adrien liked Kagami. Really liked her. Other people called her harsh, but she seemed to have a soft spot for him. She made him feel wanted. She didn’t feed him, because they were always under the watchful eye of his father and her mother, but she told him she wanted to. His makeup artists and Kagami seemed to be the only people around him that noticed anything wrong, and while she couldn’t do anything about it, the thought that she’d want to take care of him warmed his fast-beating heart.

Besides, this was his problem to solve. He couldn’t just buy as much food as he needed without being suspicious; he only had a small allowance, with each purchase being tracked. If he could have applied for a credit card without an address or a credit check, he would have snapped one up in a heartbeat. Not that he wanted to be in debt. 

Adrien was puzzling over this problem in class, carefully chewing his gum so Madame Bustier wouldn’t catch him. He normally didn’t like gum (the mint was too strong for his feline sensibilities, which had been bleeding over to his civilian life for quite some time), but just having something in his mouth comforted him. He could almost pretend he was eating. 

His hunger was all consuming; he was responsible with his education, but worried his grades would slip because he wasn’t able to concentrate on lectures or homework. A yawning pit opened in his belly and throat and never went away, even with gum in his mouth. The void inside him was jagged; knifing him at every distracted thought.

That day, Madame Bustier--who'd moved with them to lycee, on the combined campus at Dupont--was pairing people up for a group project on something or other. Adrien was paired with Marinette (whom he still felt guilty about; she’d been avoiding him lately and he knew it was his fault for snapping at her). 

He turned to her and offered her a smile he hoped was winning, but knew was much weaker than his usual hundred-megawatt Model Smiles. “Looks like we’ll be working together today, Marinette.”

“Yeah,” she said, eyes flicking to Alya as she moved from her seat to Chloe’s desk. To her credit, Marinette smiled back at him, though there was still wariness in her bluebell eyes. And possibly guilt? _That’s interesting,_ Adrien thought, and filed it away.

“How’s Luka?” Adrien asked, standing to cross to her desk. 

That was a mistake. His vision blackened around the edges, and he felt a spike of nausea. He swayed on his feet, not hearing Marinette’s perfunctory response about her boyfriend. 

“Adrien?” Marinette said, alarm clear in her face.

“Marinette, I--”

Adrien felt his eyes roll into the back of his head. He promptly keeled over, smashing his head against the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	2. Chapter 2

Adrien awoke tucked into a bed in the nurse’s office at Dupont. At least, he thought that’s where he was. The ceiling looked familiar. His mind and mouth were both fuzzy; sweeping his tongue across his molars, he realized someone had taken the gum out, or it fell out when he hit his head.

His head. The pain was a shock, though it shouldn’t have been. He lifted his arm to feel the bandaged gash in his skin, and was doubly shocked to feel the tender prickle of an intravenous line in the crook of his elbow. He was surprised because he didn’t expect the nurse’s office to have IVs. Adrien wondered if his father had anything to do with it. The boy also wondered why he wasn’t just taken to a hospital. 

Feeling sluggish, he dragged his eyes around the space. There was a blue curtain with obnoxious yellow polka-dots--which made him think of his lady, though he brutally stuffed the thought--separating his bed from the main office. His hearing wasn’t as good as Chat’s, but if he concentrated he could hear the telltale _scritch-scritch_ of a pen on paper. 

“Hello?” his voice sounded gravelly to his ears, and he swallowed, only to find his throat was dry.

The curtain was swept aside to reveal the gentle, portly man in a white coat who acted as Dupont’s nurse. “Oh, you’re awake,” he said, with a smile. Adrien read his nametag, as he couldn’t remember the name of the man who treated him, much to his shame.

“Uh, yes, M. Aubert,” Adrien said, swallowing again. “Sorry, I don’t know what happened.”

Aubert pulled a pen light out of his front pocket and clicked it on. He shined it in Adrien’s eyes. “You passed out in class and hit your head. No concussion, though, so that’s good,” Aubert said. He hesitated, and Adrien knew what was coming. “Adrien, I’m very concerned. You’re dehydrated and malnourished.”

Adrien closed his eyes. “Yeah,” he murmured, opening them again. “I’m on a restrictive diet.”

Aubert frowned. “I prescribe more food. I’ll talk to your parents.”

“Father,” Adrien corrected, feeling by turns consternated and relieved. He wondered if his father would actually let him eat as much as his body craved, and then realized that M. Aubert would probably be flayed alive if he approached Gabriel Agreste. 

Adrien also felt that he needed to defend his father. It wasn’t his fault that Adrien had miraculous powers and wasn’t able to get enough food inside his body to compensate.  
“It's not what you think, M. Aubert. He's not starving me.” _On purpose._ “He’s just busy, that’s all. He’s… He’s my father.”

“Your father, then,” Aubert said, frown deepening. “I see. In the meantime, stay here and rest up until you’re feeling better. Your electrolyte balance is all askew; if you try to move before you’re ready, you’ll faint again.”

Adrien sucked in a breath as he realized he’d be useless if an akuma showed up. Aubert was turning away, but looked over his large shoulder. “Adrien?”

“Just… pain in my head,” Adrien said. “My makeup artists are going to be furious.” He realized he wouldn’t be able to go to photoshoots until his gash healed. _My father is going to be doubly furious._

“One second,” Aubert said, and shuffled out of the room. He returned with two protein bars, and offered the food to Adrien.

“But,” Adrien said, “my diet…”

Aubert’s eyes twinkled. “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

The boy, with tears in his eyes he refused to shed, accepted the bars. 

They were delicious.

***  
Adrien stayed in the nurse’s office as long as he could, until Nathalie and the Gorilla picked him up. He was able to get to the sedan under his own power; his IVs and the protein bars nurse Aubert had given him had made him feel a bit better, though he knew he was a long way away from fully recovered. He shivered at the chill in the air; mid-winter was here, and snow was just around the corner.

As he’d been absent from fencing, Kagami stopped by his house, practically radiating worry. The subtle tightness around her eyes surprised him; it was a sign he’d only been able to pick up because they’d spent a lot of time together. One moment, Adrien had been reading Alya’s Ladyblog alone, and the next, he was sitting with his girlfriend on his bed. She placed a gentle hand on his arm.

“I’m concerned,” she said, without preamble, after the adults had left. 

“I know,” he said, exhaling through his nose.

“What are you doing?” she said, triggering his feline alarm bells.

“Uh, what do you mean?”

Kagami scoffed. “Dispense with the innocent doll eyes, Adrien,” she said, narrowing her own. The pressure on his arm marginally increased. “Why haven’t you told your father?”

“It’s a Salad thing,” he said, looking towards his rock wall. ‘Salad’ was his and Kagami’s code word for secrets that he couldn’t reveal. She knew he had a secret--or many--but was compassionate enough not to press, even though the very thought of his keeping things close to his chest frustrated her. And him.

He couldn’t tell her how grateful he was for her respect of all things Salad. He couldn’t tell her how important it was to him to have someone even know that he had a secret; around her, he didn’t have to pretend or lie as much. Knowing she had his back without his having to explain, her very presence refreshed him.

Even so, it was a pale imitation of what he had with Ladybug. Focusing on the quietly upset girl in front of him, he stuffed the thought of a lady in black-spotted red that was never his to begin with.  
Kagami’s beautiful lips were pressed into a thin, pale line. He took her hands into her own and offered them a squeeze. 

“Hey, it’s okay.”

“I fail to see how any of this is okay,” she said, threading her fingers between his. 

“I’ll figure something out.”

She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. He smiled a little. She hadn’t tried kissing him on the lips since he told her he wasn’t ready; another lack of pressure that he had to thank her for. “You’d better,” she said.

After Kagami left, his next visitor surprised him. He’d been feeling surprised a lot, lately, and didn’t particularly enjoy that. His father stood alone in front of him now, hands folded behind his back.  
Adrien hadn’t moved from his position on the bed since Kagami had spirited herself away. He shrank under his father’s inscrutable expression. “Yes, Father?”

“Adrien--” Gabriel Agreste started, and then stopped. Adrien’s eyes widened. His father _never_ hesitated. He was much like Kagami in that regard. No wonder Adrien was so comfortable around her; that confidence was hard to ignore.

 _Ladybug is confident, too_ , he thought, traitorously, knowing that even thinking about Ladybug around someone as perceptive as his father was dangerous.

Gabriel cleared his throat. “Adrien, it has come to my attention that you have been deprived of the nutrients your body requires. I…” he said, shocking Adrien again with his second hesitation of the night. “I’m sorry. I missed this somehow.”

“It’s not your fault,” Adrien said immediately, jumping to his father’s defense. Truth be told, he was floored; his father apologizing, much less taking responsibility--for _anything_ , which is another thing Adrien had to examine--for Adrien’s problem felt wrong. “You’ve been busy, and we haven’t seen each other in a while, and--”

“Adrien,” Gabriel said, and Adrien could see a glimmer of pain in his eyes. “I have a question, and I need you to answer me honestly.”

Adrien straightened his shoulders. His back felt stiff already. “Yes, Father.”

“Are you bulimic?” 

“No!” Adrien said, placing a hand over his heart. “I’m… I’m not.” 

Gabriel’s expression flickered with something Adrien couldn’t identify. His father crossed to him, and sat down on the bed. Slowly, as if he were moving underwater, Gabriel reached out and placed a hand on his son’s shoulder. “Modeling can be difficult. You can tell me, son.”

Adrien’s first reaction was to snap, to tell his father to back off. He knew that was wrong, that this wasn’t his father’s fault. Adrien breathed through his nose until he calmed down.

He looked to his father, then, and saw the man’s gaze soften. The boy felt his throat close. His father was _worried_ about him. “Father, I am not bulimic. It’s probably my metabolism going up from puberty.”

Gabriel stared at his son. “Adrien,” Gabriel whispered, “what are you doing?” The echo from Kagami’s earlier question was too much to bear, and tears sprung to Adrien’s eyes, unbidden and unwanted. He refused to let them fall.

Then the question sunk in. Adrien felt like a mouse caught in a snare. He swallowed, and found his throat was dry. “Nothing.”

Gabriel abruptly stood. The little warmth Adrien had sensed from him was gone. “I will inform Natalie, and your personal dietician,” he said, glaring out the window. “Expect an answer shortly.”

Adrien’s heart thumped against his ribcage. “Yes, Father.”

Gabriel swept out of the room. Six minutes later, too soon for Plagg to do more than give Adrien a pitious look, his third visitor of the day arrived. 

“Adrien,” Nathalie said, in that toneless voice of hers, as she looked down at her tablet. “We have recently realized that you may need more calories than we’ve been giving you.”

 _We?_ Adrien thought. _Recently?_ “What does that mean?”

“It means you will be eating more,” Nathalie said. She turned her head to let out a ladylike cough.  
“Thank you, Nathalie,” Adrien said, turning his head to look away from her, ignoring the ache in his head. He was worried he was going to cry again, and he didn’t want to do that in front of his father’s assistant--even if he did think of her as a mother figure, sometimes. 

He knew, however, that it wouldn’t be enough. Nothing would. Despair threatened to overwhelm him, and he felt the sting of tears high in his nose. _Hawkmoth would have a field day if he knew starvation would destroy his nemesis, not an akuma._

***

Dinner was a huge kale salad, and about 8oz of salmon. Adrien easily cleared his plate, but tried to eat slowly so he wouldn’t retch as the food hit his empty stomach. Father wasn’t present, as usual. Nathalie watched Adrien impassively.

She cleared her throat. He looked up from his food.

She’d placed her hand on the table, covering something. He glanced down as she removed her hand to reveal a wheel of camembert. The one thing he insisted he be able to buy with his allowance was a steady supply of the stinky cheese; for some reason, his father allowed it. But this was extra, from Nathalie. She must have thought he loved the stuff.

“But,” he whispered, afraid his father might burst in on them, “I’m on a restrictive diet.”

“I won’t tell if you won’t.”

His jaw dropped. She said goodnight and left the room, completing the supper routine.

Alone in his room ten minutes before 9pm, Adrien realized that he wasn’t looking forward to patrol this evening. If he was honest with himself, he hadn’t looked forward to it for a long while now. He wondered if Ladybug even cared about her partner, or whether she’d finally found someone to replace him.

He knew that wasn’t fair. Of course she cared. _She just has a lot on her plate, burdens I can’t help her with._ That rankled, too.

Plagg hovered around Adrien’s shirt, crossing in front of him--back and forth, back and forth. “Kid,” he said, his large, green eyes filled with worry. 

“I’m okay,” Adrien said, closing his own green eyes to avoid looking at the kwami.

“Like hell you are--”

“Plagg, claws out,” Adrien whispered. He let the transformation wash over him without doing any of his regular motions. His heart wasn’t in it tonight.

The pain in his head didn’t clear, though the gash was nowhere to be found. He dragged his claws through his unruly, blond mane, wondering at how the injury had faded, and whether he’d still have it after he detransformed. 

A message awaited him on his baton. “Chat,” Ladybug said on the video message, “I’m sorry, but I’ve already patrolled because I figured you could use the night off. Take care of yourself.”

Chat’s heart soared. His tail curled around his ankle. “She _does_ care,” he said to himself, feeling a genuine smile steal across his lips for the first time in what felt like a long while.

But now he had another problem. He was feeling better, all dressed up, but nowhere to go. Figuring he could take a run around Paris, just to stretch his legs, he launched himself out the window and into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	3. Chapter 3

The scent was heavenly. A couple of hours after he’d left his house, leaping around Paris and luxuriating in the feel of wind in his hair, Chat had been arrested by the warm, yeasty smell of baking bread from blocks away from the source. Drawn by his twitching nose, he’d followed it to the Dupain-Cheng bakery. 

Marinette’s light was on. He hadn’t approached her as Chat since the Weredad fiasco, and wondered if he’d be welcome. _She might need to be consoled. I did collapse in front of her, after all._

He steadied himself. Feeling lightheaded made his usual route of travel difficult. Snow began to fall, dusting the streets. Vaulting himself across the rooftops with his baton, he landed with a thump on the bakery’s chimney. The aroma was even stronger here, and he inhaled gladly, expanding his ribs and belly.

“Ahhh,” he moaned, feline ears fluttering.

He jerked as the skylight banged open. “Chat?” Marinette said. He noted idly that she was in her cute, pink pajamas. Had it really been so long ago that she’d gone to the movies with him in them?

“Hi, Princess, I--” He started moving towards her, but then his vision went black.

_Oh, no, not again._

He barely heard her shriek as he crashed down onto her balcony.

***

“Chat?” his Ladybug’s voice said. He felt the gentle pressure of her hand on his shoulder.

Eyes snapping open but not seeing anything, he jerked upright and slammed his head on the roof. _Ow! Roof?_

Hissing and clenching his green orbs shut, he rubbed the sore spot. 

“Chat!” Ladybug said again, and he cracked one eye open. To his surprise, she wasn’t Ladybug.

“Marinette?” he said, opening his eyes fully and examining the space he was in for the first time since waking up. He was lying down on her chaise longue, and immediately wondered how she’d had the strength to drag him in through the skylight. _I must be lighter than I thought._

“You passed out on my balcony,” Marinette said, her bluebell eyes laced with anxiety. He felt terrible for being the source of that.

“I’m okay,” Chat said, lowering his hands into his lap.

“Are you sure--”

“Pawsitive,” he said, flashing her a trademark Chat grin. For some reason, being around Marinette--even as anxious as she was--made him feel calm and composed. He knew that if he wasn’t, she’d continue to be worried. He needed to soothe her ruffled feathers.

It wasn’t lost on him that that was the first pun he’d thrown in a month.

To put it lightly, Marinette didn’t look convinced. At all. Her gaze bored into him, searching for cracks in his facade. Sweat beaded on his upper lip. _What have I gotten myself into?_

“Why aren’t you eating enough?” she demanded, her voice a protective growl that sounded close to the ones he’d used on akumas threatening Ladybug.

He rubbed the back of his head--which was still sore from his many times bumping it. “I’m on a pretty restrictive diet at… at my civilian house.” He couldn’t call it a home, not really. “And I burn a lot of calories as Chat.” The aroma of the bread was still teasing him; his mouth watered.

She stared at him, her face paling and her eyes filling with unadulterated horror. She seemed to give him a once-over, and then again, much slower, as if cataloguing all of the effects his restrictive diet had on his body. The close observation made him uncomfortable, so he shifted. “Anyway, thanks for pulling me off your balcony; that could have gone really badl--”

“I’m so sorry, Chat!” she shrieked, and shocked him by launching herself at him. He caught the scent of tears even as she buried her head into his collarbone; then he felt them roll off his super suit, wicked away like all water was. She forced her arms under his armpits, snaking her hands around his back.

“Sorry?” Chat said, feeling a blush bloom like a peony on his cheeks. The touch, while not unwelcome, was forward; she’d not hugged him since she’d told him she was in love with him, not that he’d given her a chance. He wondered idly, as he wrapped his arms firmly around her and began rubbing her back, what she felt about him now. If she still had lingering feelings of love, wouldn’t hugging her be leading her on? “What are you sorry for?”

Her breath hitched twice as she pulled back from him, and he let her go. She placed a hand on his cheek, which flamed twice as hot. Chat didn’t realize Marinette would touch him so easily. He also didn’t realize the effect she’d have on him. He filed that away for later; Marinette was clearly distressed about… something. He had to find out what before she melted on him.

“I’m sorry b-because you’re struggling, and I didn’t--I didn’t think that superhero business would be so _hard_ ,” she said, hiccuping, “on you.”

He rubbed the pads of his thumbs under her eyes, wiping away tears, careful not to poke or scratch her with his clawtips. “It’s not your fault.”

“I know, but I--I just…” she started, and to his alarm, looked like she was going to burst into tears again. Instead, her eyes hardened. “But I can fix this.”

“What?” he said, but she was already bounding off, and down the stairs before he could blink. The air felt colder where she’d been; he realized she’d been pressing her entire body against him, and that just about short-circuited his pubescent brain.

His feline ears picked up the sounds of activity below. Hurried conversations, plates being shifted, and no small amount of yelling on Marinette’s part. He realized that she must have told her parents that he was there.

Exactly where he shouldn’t be in the middle of the night.

He launched himself from the chaise longue with all the feline grace that was in him, landing on his boots. But he nearly tripped, reaching out blindly for something to grab, as his lightheadedness caught up to him. He snagged the chair’s frame, and leaned over, waiting for his vision to clear. His headache chose then to reassert itself, and he grimaced.

“Oh, no, you don’t!” Marinette screamed at his hunched frame. He glanced up, and even though his vision was blurred at the edges, he saw she’d carried up an entire tray of croissants, a box of what he assumed were macarons, and a few other assorted goodies.

His mouth watered again as she set her burdens down on the desk. He straightened, his feline ears flattening. She approached him, stomping her feet, clearly on the warpath. He felt, absurdly, like he was facing an akuma bent on obtaining his Miraculous. The feeling was uncomfortable, so he stuffed it.

“You are staying here,” she said, poking him in the chest. He gulped. “Until you’re full.”

Chat dared to take his eyes off the dangerous beauty in front of him, flicking his gaze to the pastries. He next looked to his feet. “I--I can’t take your food.”

“You will,” she said, in a midnight voice that brooked no argument. The hair on both the nape of his neck and his arms stood on end; he had goosebumps. He knew he’d lost.

But lost what? She was offering to fix his problem. Though he knew he should have solved the issue on his own, those croissants were freshly baked, and smelled divine. He sniffed, both to inhale the scent and to keep from crying.

Marinette’s gaze finally softened. She walked over to the croissants, and picked one up. Tearing the flaky pastry in half, she crossed back and held one of the halves out to him. “If it makes you feel better, we can split it.”

With trembling fingers, Chat accepted the food she’d offered him. Temptation was too strong. He smiled at her and placed the half-croissant into his mouth. 

His nose and tongue went into overdrive immediately. He almost gasped, but he didn’t want the food to fall out. The taste buds spread all over his tongue recognized a series of flavors: sugar, salt, acidity--among others. The pastry was warm and buttery, threatening to overwhelm him. He closed his eyes and moaned quietly. He’d rarely eaten food as Chat; the experience was one he would make sure to repeat in the future.

Even the physical act of chewing was comfortable, and nothing like gnawing on gum until it dissolved in his mouth. He tore the croissant with his pointed incisors, grinding it between his flat molars. He swallowed. The feeling of such delicious food, prepared with love, going down his throat and landing in his belly made him want to cry.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Marinette’s glistening. She’d already eaten her own croissant; Chat was sure that her experience wasn’t as transcendent as his.

“Thank you,” he choked out, keenly feeling that those words weren’t enough to express his gratitude. But he had another word on his mind: “More?”

Marinette sprang into action. She leapt to the croissant tray, and carried it back to him. He grabbed a few, stuffing them into his mouth as fast as he could chew. 

Much like standing up too quickly earlier, that was a mistake. The food hit his stomach wrong, and he gagged. Faster than he’d thought possible, Marinette set the tray down on the desk and reached for the trash can. She thrust it out at him, and he retched, feeling horrible that he’d wasted the food she’d given him just because he was in a hurry.

She crossed to his side and rubbed his back as he vomited up the best food he’d ever eaten. “Chat,” she said, softly and tenderly, “take your time.”

He wiped his mouth with the back of his leather-clad wrist. “I’m sorry,” he said, turning his head to look at her. She was crying again.

“It’s okay. Just… Just slow down, okay? You don’t need to be anywhere right now.”

If Hawkmoth released an akuma right then, Chat would never be able to forgive him.

***

After gentle coaxing from Marinette, Chat had polished off most of the croissants, all of the macarons, and several cinnamon rolls as big as his head. Marinette’s mother--Sabine? Chat tried to recall her name, but couldn’t, something he was ashamed of; even his memory was affected by the lack of sleep--brought more food, and he ate that, too. 

What impressed him was Marinette’s stamina--and stomach. At his insistence that she eat with him, she tucked in and ate almost as much.

Feeling languorous, Chat leaned back on her chaise longue, and patted his slightly-distended stomach. He felt warm--truly warm--for the first time in months. His suit usually regulated his body temperature, but as Adrien, he’d had no such help. Not eating enough left him cold almost all the time. 

Contented, he found that even his heart rate had slowed. He no longer felt anxious; even the threads of his former dread with his father had left him. His head still hurt, but he figured there was nothing for it.

Marinette, seated on her desk chair in front of him, smiled at him. He smiled back. Chat felt like a puddle. He had been worried about her melting; clearly he should have worried about himself instead.

“Comment vous sentez-vous?” she whispered, as if regretting that she broke the comfortable silence. How do you feel?

“Purrfect,” he drawled. He blinked slowly, finding that keeping his eyes open was a difficult and silly endeavor. So Chat closed them. He could no more open his eyelids than he could move mountains. His breathing slowed.

He felt a caring kiss pressed to his temple, something he barely registered with a conscious thought, before he was out for the count.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	4. Chapter 4

Adrien, wearing the blue scarf his father had given him on a previous birthday, looked up as Marinette rushed into Madame Bustier’s class. Icicles hung off the side of the building, and Adrien could see his breath. But he was worried about Marinette. His fashion designer had bags under her eyes, and he felt a stab of guilt knowing he was the cause.

She’d stayed up all night, watching Chat. Protecting him from… something, he didn’t know what. Maybe himself, if he had to be honest. 

But she’d effectively solved his problem of not having enough to eat. She’d given him explicit instructions that he was to come back that night. And wouldn’t take no for an answer. He vowed not to eat as much as he did the first night; if he did, he’d eat the kind Dupain-Chengs out of house and home. They had to make croissants for customers, after all. 

When he’d brought that up to Marinette, she told him not to worry about it. But worry about it, he did. It was in his nature to be anxious about being an inconvenience to people. She just didn’t understand.

And he was worried about being an inconvenience to his father. Nathalie informed Adrien this morning that Gabriel had canceled their pre-scheduled dinner tonight. Again.

 _He works way too hard,_ Adrien thought, cupping his chin in his hand and resting his elbow on the desk. He sighed. _I understand, but I do wish we could have eaten together, though. That would have been… nice._

Distracted, he watched Marinette. She seemed to be in a better mood than she had been the day before. As he watched her sit down, she smiled--genuinely smiled--at Adrien, not just Chat, and his heart fluttered. He could almost feel his tail curling.

Nino sat down beside him and offered him a fistbump, which Adrien gladly took. “You okay, bro?” Nino said, and Adrien nodded, still lightheaded.

“I’m fine,” Adrien said. “My father increased my calories.” 

“That’s great!” Nino said, and then his look darkened. “Should have noticed a while ago.”

“It’s not his fault,” Adrien mumbled. 

Chloe chose that moment to stride into the room. “Adrikins!” she called, waving to him. He smiled and waved back. 

“Salut, Chloe,” he said, watching her hips sway as she sauntered towards him. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, smearing pale lipstick on his skin. Nino pointed to his own cheek to let Adrien know, but Adrien only had eyes for Chloe.

“Adrikins, you had me so _worried_ ,” Chloe said, pursing her lips.

“I’m okay now, Chlo,” he said, smiling at his oldest friend. 

She patted his cheek. “Hm! Well, good. If you pass out again, I’ll never forgive you.”

He laughed. Madame Bustier started the class.

At the break, Marinette turned to him. “Salut, Adrien. Are you feeling any better?” Since she’d started dating Luka, she rarely stuttered around Adrien anymore. He found, irrationally, that he almost missed it, even though he liked the new, confident Marinette better.

He smiled back at her. “Yes, thank you. My head still hurts,” he said, touching the butterfly bandage over his gash, “but it’s much better than it was last night.”

Her gaze flicked to his head and turned wary. 

“You’re not going to pass out again, right?” she said, gripping the edge of her desk. He could see he’d worried her. Another thing to feel guilty about. He almost sighed.

“No,” Adrien said. Much like last night, she gave him a once-over--and then again, slower. He tried not to squirm in his seat.

Her eyes hardened again. “Well, I brought some food for you. You should eat it.”

“You… You what?” he said, surprised once again. His shock was almost an old friend by now.

Marinette turned away from him and opened her backpack. It was cute and pink, just like her, he thought. She pulled out more than he’d thought possible: two Tupperware containers full of spaghetti Bolognese, two more with sautéed zucchini squash, and a thermos full of what he assumed was hot chocolate, considering Marinette’s taste for such things. “You’re too thin, Adrien. I don’t know how I neglected to notice it before. I’m sorry.”

“But… I’m on a restrictive diet,” he said, his token protest belied by his mouth watering.

Her eyes hardened again. He fidgeted. She looked like she was about to strangle his father, and Adrien would have to jump in the way.  
Then, in the echo of the words kind people had always said to him, she whispered, eyes twinkling, “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

***

Adrien was horrified. He’d met with his doctor after school on the day after he’d passed out, and his father--via tablet--commanded the physician inspect Adrien’s teeth, checking for damage from bulimia. Finding nothing amiss with Adrien’s mouth, the doctor made a new meal plan for him and told his father to keep an eye on his son’s inputs and outputs, a fancy way of saying food and exercise.

Especially the exercise.

Adrien was so worried about his father catching him gallivanting around as Chat Noir, he could spit.

That snow-filled night, Chat dropped down from his baton on his and Ladybug’s usual meeting place: the rooftop where she’d broken his heart. He was, in all respects, a hopeless romantic; he couldn’t consciously say he was holding out hope that she’d still want him if he reminded her of his feelings for her, but that’s exactly what he did.

He’d smelled her gift from a block away. He just wasn’t sure it was for him.

“Chat,” Ladybug said, holding an enormous pizza box. The saucy, cheesy scent wafted over to his nose, which twitched. “I’m so sorry. I’ve been neglecting you.”

Chat couldn’t deny it. He looked away, towards the Eiffel Tower. “You’ve been busy.”

“Kitty,” Ladybug said, looking like she was about to cry, “forgive me.”

He smiled at her tremulously, tears flooding his night vision. “Already done.”

***

After patrol, Chat found that Marinette had made a CrockPot’s worth of beef stew, just for him. He gladly ate that, all of it, and then feasted on whatever day-old goods the bakers couldn’t sell. Marinette ate with him, and polished off just as much as he did, impressing him again. 

Once more he reclined on her chaise longue, drowsy and content, watching her through heavy-lidded eyes.

He yawned and allowed himself a full-body, very feline stretch. Marinette, sitting in front of him, chuckled, and he smiled at her, though when he opened his eyes and caught her expression, he was instantly worried he’d done something to upset her.

“Qu’est-ce qu’il y a?” he asked, not wanting to sit up but doing it anyway. What’s wrong?

“Chat,” she said, nibbling on her lower lip. He wished she’d stop doing that. He used to nibble on his lip when he was nervous, scraping his teeth against it until it bled. He had to stop when he started modeling, and watching her perform the rhythmic, anxious action made him want to bite his own lip. 

“Yeah?”

She didn’t say anything, but gave him a pitying look. His hackles raised. He hated pity. She must have sensed it, because she placed a hand on his knee. 

“How much water do you usually drink?” she said, and he thought it was sort of a non sequitur to his feelings. Chat kicked himself for thinking that she felt what he felt, like some sort of empath he was bleeding all over. She had no idea.

“Usually? None,” Chat said, wrinkling his nose. “I hate plain water. I’m too busy during the day.”

“And no one reminds you to drink?”

“No.”

“Oh, _Chat_ ,” Marinette said, and the pitying look was back in full force. “Don’t you have anyone who cares about you at all?”

Chat sucked a breath in over his teeth. “My father,” he snapped, “cares for me _deeply_.” 

She recoiled, drawing her hand back as if she was wounded. Guilt washed over him at the haunted look in her eyes. “Oh,” she said. 

And that was all she said. Chat wanted her to say more, to not leave him hanging like that, to chastise him for being careless of her feelings.

“Marinette,” he said, reaching a clawed hand out and drawing it back. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I… I hate hurting my friends. And I keep doing it.”

 _This friend in particular,_ he thought, watching her nod. _I hurt her! Again._

She gave him a watery smile, which only cut him deeper. “I like being your friend.”

Remorse turned to bile in his mouth. “I’m not a very good one.”

Her eyes turned frosty. “Don’t you dare,” she said, clenching her tiny fists, “insult yourself in my presence again.”

His heart thrummed against his rib cage, a concert he could feel. He swallowed. Then he nodded. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

“You’re a great friend, Chat Noir,” she said, her knuckles white on her bent knees. “You’re kind and compassionate and as loyal as a dog, even for a cat. And don’t you forget it.”

He inhaled through his mouth, a great gulp of air, but still felt lightheaded. “You’re a great friend, too,” he said, feeling inarticulate. “I mean, a really great friend. You feed people. Bodies and souls.”

Marinette looked like she had something she wanted to say, but just couldn’t get the words out. She nibbled on her lip again-- _stop doing that_ , he thought desperately. “Well,” she said, finally releasing her lip from the grip of her teeth, “I am a baker’s daughter.”

He left early that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	5. Chapter 5

The morning after his disastrous evening with Marinette, Chat didn’t know if he was welcome at the bakery that night. When Adrien saw her in class, she looked like she’d cried the night away. 

Guilt stabbed at him sharper than any knife. Depression lingered just out of sight, ready to pounce on him like a raging beast. He knew that if he succumbed to it, he wouldn’t be able to get out of bed, maybe not even for an akuma.

As if Hawkmoth was reading Adrien’s mind, the butterfly-themed supervillain threw an akuma at them just as Marinette was unpacking the catboy’s lunch. After a two-hour affair that canceled school and thoroughly wore Adrien out, he realized that missing the second lunch was dangerous to his system. 

Ladybug bugged out as soon as she comforted the akumatized victim, and he was sad about that, too. 

Nino and Chloe called him afterwards, checking in on him. Adrien smiled into the phone as they chatted, but he felt sick to his stomach about Marinette.

Adrien wanted nothing more than to get to Marinette’s and apologize again. Unfortunately for him, Adrien and Kagami had plans: ice skating, like their first unofficial date, to commemorate their two-month anniversary. Ice skating in a rink when there was plenty of ice outside seemed sort of silly to him, but it was what Kagami wanted to do. 

Valentine’s Day was three days away, a Friday, but this was the only time that their busy schedules would allow them to celebrate. He’d offered her a bouquet of red roses; she gave him a box of fine chocolates. 

His father and her mother both chipped in to rent the ice rink just for them. Gorilla dropped them off at the rink, and they set about getting ready.

As usual, Adrien had trouble donning his skates. _This would be a lot easier if I could just transform into Ice Chat._ He sat down heavily in one of the seats by the rink, and Kagami approached him, already wearing her skates.

“I’m concerned,” she said, without preamble, lacing up his boots for him.

“I know,” he said, knowing the conversation was just going to be a retread of their previous one.

“No,” she said, both answering his words and correcting his assumption. “I don’t think you do. I’m _concerned_.”

“I… Thank you,” he said, rubbing the back of his head. His head was still tender, two days after his accident. He wondered if Aubert had been wrong, and Adrien had actually suffered a concussion. It wouldn’t surprise him.

She dragged him out onto the ice, where he was wobblier than normal. His ankles felt weaker than the last time he’d been there. _Maybe I’ve lost bone density, too. Starving sucks._

“Adrien,” she said, tightly holding his hand so he wouldn’t fall. Her powerful, athlete’s legs bent and straightened, gliding fluidly across the ice and propelling them both. “You’re wound tighter than a drum. You need to relax.”

“Relax?” he said, incredulous. “But I can’t. I’ve got… Salad.”

“That’s why you need to relax,” she said, taking longer and longer strokes, one foot after the other. He was spellbound by her movements, and followed along as best as he could. “If you don’t, you won’t be able to handle Salad. Your Salad will break you.”

Adrien smiled grimly. She was right, of course--Kagami was right about most things. She’d intuited that Salad was dangerous, and he found himself wondering yet again how much she knew. “Thank you, Kagami.”

She smiled at him. He found himself smiling back. “Focus on the ice underneath your feet. Feel how smoothly you can cut through it. Breathe. And again.”

As Adrien flowed down the ice with his girlfriend, inhaling deep breaths through his nose and exhaling through his mouth, he felt his shoulders begin to unwind. He didn’t realize how painfully tense they’d been until he started concentrating on releasing that tension. He carried all of his stress in his shoulders. 

Kagami was right--he _was_ wound tightly.

She didn’t make any more demands on him. Just partnered with him on the ice. He bent his knees and moved his hips, feeling free.

Then Adrien had an idea. He grinned at Kagami, and started pushing himself across the ice faster and faster, overtaking her. She followed his lead, and soon their skates were parallel on the ice, and like a true partner, she knew what he was planning without him having to voice it.

Relying on her to stay straight and balance his weight on the inside of the turn while they banked around it, Adrien crouched down while holding her hand. They whipped around the turn faster than he’d ever skated before, which made him whoop and laugh. 

Kagami laughed with him. “Again!”

They spent the afternoon whipping around turns and giggling at each other. _I could get used to this_ , Adrien thought, unlacing his boots. _I wonder if Luka takes Marinette here._

Marinette. The thought of her was like ice water to his brain. He shivered. _I hurt Marinette. I’m such a terrible person._

“Are you okay?” Kagami said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Yes,” he lied. “Just as cold as ice.” 

***

Ladybug called off patrol Thursday evening because they both needed a rest, she had said. He was all too happy to avoid patrol; facing Ladybug after he’d had such a good time with Kagami--and hurt Marinette--was the last thing he wanted to do. So he stood transformed in his room, staring at his baton, still wondering if he should call Ladybug just to chat, like they used to.

He still hadn’t told Ladybug that he had a girlfriend. Or that he’d been getting fed by someone not Ladybug and not his girlfriend. He didn’t know how guilty he should feel for both of those things; he felt like he was keeping Salad from everyone in his life.

But now that he was no longer beholden to a patrol that evening, he didn’t know what to do with himself. He wondered if he was still welcome at Marinette’s. He knew he had to try to make it up to her, so he’d bought her a pink rose while he was picking up the bouquet for Kagami. Now the gesture seemed ridiculous.

Plagg had, of course, told him to bring her cheese. _Maybe not cheese_ , he thought, glancing at his desk, where he’d set the understated, yellow-brown box of chocolates Kagami got him. _But chocolates?_

He scooped up the box and the rose, and vaulted out into the night. Two days of eating properly gave him so much more energy. He wasn’t as tired as usual, and he was definitely better balanced. His earlier trepidation about the ice seemed to be a fluke. 

He landed on the bakery’s snow-dusted balcony with a thump. Marinette opened the skylight, and nodded. “Salut, Chat.”

He furrowed his brow. Her eyes didn’t look puffy and red. _That’s a good sign._ “Salut,” he said, thrusting the box and rose in his clawed hands right under her nose. “I brought you something.”

Marinette blinked. “You didn’t have to.” 

“I wanted to,” he said quickly, well aware his window of repentance was closing. “I…”

He crouched down, so he could be closer to her. “I am so sorry, Mari. First you feed me, then I fall asleep here, then you ask an innocent question, then I snap at you and run away… I’ve behaved abominably.”

Hope bloomed in Chat’s chest at the teasing gleam in Marinette’s eye. “That’s about the size of it,” she said, flashing him a brief smile. “Stop caterwauling on my railing, silly kitty, and come in already. It’s cold out here.”

She had forgiven him.

Chat’s heart soared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Someone suffers a panic attack in this chapter.

Plagg was displeased. Adrien knew it. The kwami had gone uncharacteristically silent over the past few days. _Probably because I keep falling asleep at Marinette’s while transformed,_ Adrien thought. 

“Plagg,” Adrien said, holding a particularly smelly piece of camembert in front of the black mini-god. Adrien and his kwami were alone in his room, and they still needed to go to patrol. “Talk to me. Please.” 

Adrien smiled a little. He would have snapped at the kwami, but after two more weeks of nightly stops at the Dupain-Cheng bakery, the boy was feeling less churlish. He’d even started regaining a bit of muscle mass. Even akumas were easier to face now that his stomach had stopped growling.

Nathalie and his father were pleased. Kagami was pleased. Nino and Chloe were pleased.

Marinette was pleased. 

Adrien was actually happy again.

Marinette had brought Adrien food everyday. Between the group projects in school, lunches, and nights at the bakery, he’d been spending most of his time with her. As Chat, he’d even taken his homework over to her place.

To his surprise, her parents had started inviting him to a late night family snack while he was visiting Marinette. Tom seemed to have completely forgiven him for breaking his daughter’s heart, and on the first night, wrapped Chat up in a massive hug.

Chat had stifled his tears; he’d so rarely had an embrace from an adult male, and he relished the feeling. Being hugged by Tom was different than being embraced by Sabine or Marinette. For one thing, he was much bigger, and threw his whole body into the hug. He was also much stronger, and Chat could feel that in his grip. But Tom was a gentle giant, wrapping his arms around Chat without crushing him--at least not unpleasantly. 

The baker also smelled great. Yeast, and chocolate, with a touch of musky cologne. Chat had buried his face into Tom’s shoulder and taken a huge whiff. Despite his efforts, the boy had also left a few tears on that shoulder, but Tom either didn’t notice or pretended Chat hadn’t cried.

The family also played board games together. Chat’s favorite was Le Donjon de Naheulbeuk, a dungeon crawler where players banded together to defeat the sorcerer Zangdar and recover the last of Gladeufeura’s statuettes. The timed battles and skill checks were complex enough to hold Chat’s attention--at least until Marinette would groan about losing. Sabine had recognized that Chat loved the board game, so she often selected that one when it was her night to choose.

And of course, they fed him.

Being able to participate in their family time--essentially being adopted by Marinette’s parents--gave Chat the attention he desperately craved. So, to his pleasure, did Marinette. 

Marinette tending to Chat was wonderful. Marinette responding to Adrien again was great. But what was even more surprising to him was Ladybug’s reaction to Chat. They’d had dinner every night after that first time she’d brought pizza. 

She brought the food, and sometimes coffee--double chocolate espresso for her; black for him. He managed to bring a meal once in a while, strategically timing his cash withdrawals from the ATMs. Two euros here, three euros there; it added up pretty quickly to a takeout meal. Adrien didn’t know why he didn’t think of that sooner. His brain was pretty foggy when he was going hungry, so he chalked the lapse in judgment up to that.

He was definitely getting enough to eat now. Too much-- _way_ too much--but since he was scared about not having food again, he ate it all and threw up some of it once he got home. He decided not to explore that.

Adrien was happy again.

Which is why he was so confused about Plagg’s displeasure.

The kwami stared at the cheese, eyes narrowed. “Bribery is distinctly unfair.”

“Always worked before,” Adrien said, with just a trace of humor. “Come on, Plagg, what’s wrong?”

Plagg snarfed down the cheese. “You’re spending too much time transformed.”

 _I knew it_ , Adrien thought. He almost crowed, but stopped himself out of respect for his kwami’s feelings. The boy inched closer to the hovering black cat. “What can I do?”

“Stop falling asleep over there. It’s bad for you, bad for her, and most importantly, bad for _me_.”

Adrien stood up straight. “I’m not hurting you, am I?”

Plagg looked shifty. “No. But I am tired and hungry and _bored_ when you’re at Marinette’s all night. You’re not the only one who needs fed all the time.”

“I’m sorry, Plagg,” Adrien said, wilting. “Can I make it up to you somehow?”

“Cheese,” Plagg said, succinctly.

But Adrien could tell he was still upset about something. The kwami continued his “pacing,” flying back and forth above the boy’s bed in a fixed pattern. 

“What is it, Plagg?” Adrien said, sitting on the bed. He had no idea what the problem was, which bothered him like a burr under his skin.

Plagg frowned. “You’re not being very nice to Marinette.”

Adrien felt like he’d stepped off the edge of a skyscraper and was still falling. “ _What_?” he said, green eyes widening. “I’m… I’m not being nice to Marinette?”

Plagg scoffed. “You’re running her ragged. I know you love the attention--you need it; you haven’t had anyone truly care for you for so long--but she can’t be the one to give everything to you,” the kwami said, waving his tiny, fingerless hands. “She’s been tending to you as Chat _and_ as Adrien, constantly checking in on you, feeding you--it’s too much. Just think, if she were Ladybug, she’d be bringing food three times a day--”

“Marinette is _not_ Ladybug.”

“You’re missing the point!” Plagg yelled, and Adrien jerked back. “Think, Kid. Think about the last two weeks. What were you doing?”

Adrien did think back. Marinette had been feeding him as Adrien. And as Chat. She’d even suspended her sleep schedule for him; they stayed up late to just sit companionably together or do homework. He’d fallen asleep on Marinette’s chaise longue more than once, and she’d stayed up every time, saving him from himself.

Her eyes had sported bags and shadows for a week. He couldn’t bear to see her fall apart, like he’d realized she’d slowly been doing at school. 

Yesterday, she’d fallen asleep in class and woke up panicked. He remembered thinking she’d reacted as if sleeping in an unsafe space was dangerous for her. Even Alya and Nino took a break from making goo-goo eyes at each other to fuss over Marinette. 

Adrien hadn’t, because he thought he might be in their way. 

The thud of hitting the pavement after stepping off that skyscraper rattled his bones. Tears flooded his vision; he’d been successful recently in not letting those fall every time he wanted to cry, but now they trailed down his cheeks. He dashed away at them with the back of his wrists, incensed with himself.

“I’m so stupid!” he said, covering his face with his hands.

Plagg growled. “Cut the self-deprecation, kid. You’re not stupid. You’ve just been acting that way.” Then he twisted the knife. “It’s unlike you to not consider other people’s feelings.”

Adrien gasped, clutching his heart as if he were in physical pain. He realized he was. “What do I do?”

“Stop falling asleep over there,” the kwami said, patting the boy’s cheek. “And cut back on your visits. Seriously, kid, how did you not notice this before?”

“How do I make it up to her?” Adrien said, panting. “H-How do I fix this--How do I--”

_I hurt her I hurt her I hurt her--_

The more anxious he got, the more upset his stomach became. His heartbeat ratcheted up. He felt short of breath; as much as he gulped down air, he couldn’t fill his lungs. Pressure built up under his sternum; fire laced his lungs. His vision went black around the edges.

“Kid! Kid!” Plagg said, whipping around in the air frantically. “You’re freaking out, calm down!”

The worst part of panic attacks, Adrien thought afterwards, was the overwhelming sense of dread. He felt as if he was back in Aspik’s suit, watching Desperada capture Ladybug again and again. It was a hopeless fear, crawling up his throat to strangle him. The dread wrapped its tendrils around his heart and didn’t stop squeezing until he finally, finally listened to Plagg, and started the deep breathing exercises his therapist had taught him years ago.

The last time Adrien had suffered panic attacks was just after he’d lost his mom. As a thirteen-year-old whose mother had just… disappeared, Adrien was terrified of being abandoned by his father, and dealt with nightly panic attacks for a month when it seemed that would be the case.

He was sort of surprised that he hadn’t had one since he’d become Chat Noir. Facing akumas was a different sort of adrenaline rush, one he compartmentalized away in an airtight, locked box in his head.

Trembling, he wiped snot off his nose and lip with the palm of his hand. His tears had stained his pillow already, and he was soaked in cold sweat. He was exhausted, but too keyed up to sleep. _I thought I’d gotten over those. Guess not._

“Good kwami,” Plagg said. “Remind me never to hold you accountable again.”

“Not funny, Plagg,” Adrien ground out. 

Plagg was quiet for a moment. But only a moment. “Are you gonna be okay?” 

Despite his nose being blocked, Adrien’s feline senses caught a weird scent on the air, like nothing he’d ever smelled. Like ozone and grass mixed together. He looked up to see Plagg’s huge eyes glistening. Adrien realized that he hadn’t known what a kwami’s tears smelled like. Until now.

“Yeah,” Adrien said. He was so worthless. He even made his kwami cry. “Yeah, I’ll be okay.”

“Call off patrol,” Plagg begged. 

“Patrol!” Adrien said, sitting straight up. “Plagg, what time is it?” 

“9:13pm.”

“Claws out!”

***

Chat could tell that Ladybug knew something was wrong with him almost immediately. She set her lasagna down on the icy rooftop of their meeting place, and opened her arms wordlessly.

Seeing her loving expression, something inside of Chat Noir broke. He buried his head in her collarbone and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	7. Chapter 7

“Kitty,” Ladybug said, rubbing soothing circles on Chat’s back as his sobbing calmed down, “what did you do?”

Chat hiccuped. His nose stung like he’d been under chlorinated water for too long. Plagg had just pointed out to Adrien that he’d hurt Marinette, and he’d had a breakdown. 

Clearly the stress of battling akumas was finally getting to him. He was certain that was it. 

“Hurt someone I care about,” he mumbled into Ladybug’s shoulder. “Suffered a panic attack when I realized.”

“How did you hurt them?” Ladybug said, her disbelieving voice scalding him. 

“Someone has been feeding me,” he said, his voice gravelly. “More than you have, I mean. I need the calories; I’m on a pretty restrictive diet at my civilian house. And the attention of her family, and hers… is-- _was_ \--nice. But I think I have to stop.”

“Why?” she said, threading her fingers through his hair, scratching behind his feline ears. He almost started purring. 

“Because I’ve been running her ragged for the past two weeks and didn’t even know it.” 

Ladybug stiffened, and stopped petting him. He wanted to mewl to get her start again, but he knew she was considering his words--and her own. “She probably thought feeding you was worth the exhaustion.”

“You can’t know that,” Chat said, clinging to his Lady. Kagami was his girlfriend, but no one could comfort him like Ladybug. Their partnership had been going on for long enough, and they were so comfortable with each other physically, that he craved her touch.

“No,” Ladybug sighed, moving his head as she breathed, as he was hunched over, leaning against her chest. His back was starting to hurt from the compromised position, but he didn’t care. “But, Kitty, aren’t you overreacting? You seem rather invested in suffering because someone _chose_ to wear herself out to help you. Didn’t you think that you could be akumatized this way?”

Chat bristled. _Always have to be the consummate professional, don’t you, Ladybug?_ he thought, nastily, and then kicked himself. She started dragging her nails across his scalp, and he relaxed again. “Maybe I am being a bit dramatic.”

“Why did you have a panic attack?”

Chat licked his dry--but no longer chapped--lips. Her question was the very one he didn’t want to face.  
Why _did_ he have a panic attack? It came upon him abruptly, as they always did. He screwed up his eyes, trying to figure out what triggered the fear. Plagg told him to stop going to the bakery as often. Why did stopping visits to Marinette give him such an extreme reaction? 

_Oh... Oh._

Chat raised his head, looking into Ladybug’s eyes, his hands dangling at his sides. She drew her own hands away. “I think I know,” he said, preparing to cry again. “When I was… younger, I was abandoned by people I really cared about. People who were necessary for me to function properly. This is the first time since that I felt that… someone else loved me. That they wanted to take care of me.”  
He sniffled, feeling his nose blocked. “I crave the attention,” he said, reminded of what Plagg had said. “I _need_ it. And turning off the flow of that attention… felt like being abandoned all over again. So I freaked out.”

Ladybug had raised her hands to her lips. “Oh, Kitty,” she said, tears leaking out of her eyes. “I’m sorry. I had no idea.” She drew him into a hug. “Are you going there tonight?”

“No. I want to give her a chance to rest. I’ll tell her tomorrow that I’m cutting down on our visits.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Ladybug said. “She’ll be worried if you don’t show. There have been some nasty akumas lately. She might think you’ve been hurt.”

“Oh,” Chat said, his feline ears flattening. “I don’t want to make her worry.”

“Then,” Ladybug said, rubbing his back again, “let’s eat this lasagna, and then you can go to her.”

“Deal.”

***

“Chat,” Marinette said, as she opened the fogged-up skylight, surprisingly a little out of breath, “I’m glad you came.”

“Did I take your breath away, Purrincess?” Chat said, but his heart wasn’t in it. He’d lost most of his former swagger, and wondered how to get it back.

She laughed anyway, and he felt better. “Come in,” she said, and popped her head down into the room. He followed willingly.

“Are you okay, Chat?” Marinette asked, as he settled himself on her chaise longue. 

“I am now,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his head with a clawed hand. He sniffed. The scents of oregano, tomato, and ricotta on her breath tickled his nose. “Is that… lasagna?”

“We had lasagna for dinner tonight.” 

“Oh, me, too,” he said, “best lasagna I’d ever tasted.”

She smiled at him. “Does that mean you’re not hungry?” 

“Of course not,” he said, chuckling. “I couldn’t pass up my Marinette’s croissants.”

She flushed as red as Ladybug’s suit, and he wondered what he’d said wrong. _Maybe I have some of my swagger back after all._

He coughed into his clawed fist, his tail twisting. “But I do have something to tell you.”

Previously, Marinette looked rooted to the spot, but now she leaned towards him, placing a hand on his arm. “What is it?”

“I… I have to cut down on visits. No more Le Donjon.”

“Why?” Marinette said. “Are you upset with me? Did I do something to offend you or--” 

“No, no, nothing like that,” Chat said, and took her hands into his own. He looked down, and noticed how delicate her hands looked in his. _These strong hands sew, and bake, and feed people._ He realized he loved her tiny fingers, and ran a clawed thumb across her knuckles. The knuckles of her middle fingers were somewhat larger than all the others, and he stroked them, fascinated.

“Uh, Chat,” Marinette said, flushing anew. “You were saying?”

“Huh?” he said, as if coming out of a daze. “Oh, yeah, I, uh… You didn’t offend me. You couldn’t.”

“I doubt that.”

Chat released her hands, only to cup her rosy cheeks. He wanted her full attention, to impress upon her the seriousness of his claim. He stared deep down into her bluebell eyes. She tilted her head up to him and parted her lips. His feline ears could hear her heartbeat pounding. He felt her hot, lasagna-scented breath on the exposed parts of his face. The physicality of it was just the same as being in the same space as Ladybug; his and Marinette’s closeness made his head swim. 

He abruptly realized who he was holding, and released her, leaning back on his elbows. The rush of air that filled the space he vacated was almost an audible thing. Marinette looked spellbound for a moment, and then rubbed her arms. 

“Are you okay?” he said. 

“Je vais bien!” she squeaked, and he thought it was cute. “Just… Just cold!”

He didn’t feel cold. He actually felt quite hot, which was strange for him, since his suit usually regulated his body temperature.

“W-What were you saying before?” she started, stumbling over her words. She raked a hand over her hair, jiggling her pigtails. “About cutting down on visits?”

“Oh,” Chat said. “Oh! Right. Yes. The visits.”

He looked at her, really looked at her. Now that she wasn’t flushing, she was quite pale. Her eyebags had eyebags. Her shoulders were slumped. He’d noticed about a week ago that she’d started drinking more coffee--he could smell it almost always on her breath, aside from tonight, and she brought it in the thermos for her and Adrien’s lunches--and didn’t think to connect that with her exhaustion until now. 

Overcome with remorse, Chat leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “I’m running you ragged,” he whispered, staring at her with a soft gaze. They were almost nose-to-nose again. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh,” Marinette breathed. “I don’t mind.”

Chat grimaced and pulled away. “I knew you’d say that. But I purromise I’ve gotten enough to eat lately. I have other people feeding me now instead of just you. I can hold off on coming. I won’t die.”

“Really?” Marinette said, sighing. “I wouldn’t mind the extra sleep.” Then she sat bolt upright. “Not like you being here is an imposition, because it’s not, I definitely like having you around and--”

“Mari,” Chat said, pressing a clawed finger to her lips. “It’s fine. Trust me.” He drew back and offered her a Chat-tastic grin. “Besides, you can always pack me food. I’ll bring a backpack.”

Marinette smiled. “Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	8. Chapter 8

As food-insecure as he was, Chat was loath to give up on his visits with Marinette. He told her that visiting on Mondays and Thursdays would be enough, but he wasn’t sure the truncated visits would be. He knew he’d have to find some other way to get food.

Besides, he liked their nightly routine. It was amazingly comfortable. They’d eat, and he’d hit her with some puns he’d looked up on the internet, and then they’d sit--her at her desk, designing, and him on her chaise longue, doing homework, until he went home to catch some sleep before the next early morning akuma. Being with Marinette put him at ease.

True to form, however, Marinette packed him a backpack’s worth of food every time he came. She’d started putting apples and carrots and cheese (camembert, naturally) in his bag, as well as the more traditional croissants and macarons. (He was inordinately pleased that croissants were traditional; that he even _had_ a tradition with her made him happy.)

Her parents, driven by Sabine, offered to let him play Le Donjon with the Dupain-Chengs again, a concession he was glad to make. Mondays were to become the family’s night to break bread and roll dice.

But as loath to give up even more visits with Marinette and her family, he was even more loath to give up his second lunches with her as Adrien. Sitting in class next to Nino the morning after he’d told her as Chat that he was cutting down, Adrien steeled himself and tapped her on the shoulder.

“Marinette,” he said, after she turned to him, “you don’t have to bring me lunch anymore. Thank you, so much, for being so considerate.”

Nino raised his brows. Alya sucked in a breath. Adrien ignored them.

Marinette didn’t look convinced.

He held up his hands. “Really, I’m doing much better,” he said, feeling a very Chat-like impulse strike him. “Look, I’m even putting on muscle.” And then he flexed his bicep.

She flushed immediately, as he knew she would. Teasing her was more fun than it had any right to be. “O-Of course!” she said. “Muscles. Very, very nice muscles. I mean! Those are muscles all right!”

Adrien smiled, though inside he was roiling. _Why did I do that?_ he chastised himself. _She has a boyfriend. And I… I have Kagami._

“But, Adrien,” Marinette said, arresting his attention, “are you sure?”

“Paw--I mean, positive,” he said. Her eyes widened for a moment, and he ducked his head.

Marinette nibbled on her lower lip again. _Please stop doing that,_ Adrien thought, and before he knew it, he was reaching across the desks to run his thumb across her lip. 

Marinette gasped. Alya, whom Adrien had assumed was oblivious to the conversation, as she had been making goo-goo eyes at Nino, shrieked. “Dude,” Nino said, looking between the two of them.

Adrien whipped his hand away, flushing to his ears, and turned around. Madame Bustier started the class. Adrien swallowed thickly. _That was entirely inappropriate. What’s come over me?_

By lunch, Adrien was still blushing from the Lip Incident. Thankfully, Nino and Alya chose to go get food together in the cafeteria, though Nino had patted him on the shoulder and said, “Dude. We need to Talk.” Adrien was not looking forward to that. 

But Marinette seemed no worse for wear as she opened up her cute, pink backpack-- _just like her,_ Adrien’s traitorous mind thought once again--and brought the day’s lunch out for him: chicken parmesan, green beans, and strawberry shortcake. Marinette seemed to really like Italian food, which made him smile. 

_So does Ladybug,_ he thought, and then wondered at that thought, because it had clearly come out of nowhere.

Marinette ate in silence, so he followed her lead. He knew from the slight furrow in her brow--a sign he only recognized because they spent so much time together--that she was thinking about something, and thinking hard. Finally, after he almost couldn’t bear her silence anymore, she spoke. 

“Adrien, how about this: I’ll bring you lunch on Tuesdays and Fridays. Does that sound good?”

He was floored by how compassionate she was. “Really?” he said, a green bean halfway to his mouth. He set his fork down and took her hands into his own. “That could work! Thank you!”

“Y-You’re welcome!” She was blushing and stammering again, and he didn’t know why. 

_Aren’t we past this?_ he thought idly. She had some tomato sauce on the corner of her lip, and he felt the almost-overwhelming urge to wipe it off with the pad of his thumb. Remembering the Lip Incident from earlier and Nino’s impending Talk, Adrien held off.

The temptation, however, was still strong, and he eyed that little smear of sauce until they were both done eating. “You… You have something on the corner of your lip,” he said eventually, reaching out and drawing back. 

Marinette blinked at him. Then the tip of her pink tongue sneaked out and licked the sauce off. Adrien, focused on her tongue, flushed. He looked away and rubbed the back of his head.

“Did I get it?” 

“Yes, yes, you got it,” he said, looking back to confirm that she had.

She smiled. “Good.”

***

Nino caught Adrien just as he was walking down the snow-covered front steps of Dupont. Adrien wished he’d worn boots; the bottom of his jeans were soaked, as were his tennis shoes. He shivered under his thick, puffy coat. The Gorilla had already opened the door to the sedan, and Adrien was looking forward to relaxing at home. _Maybe I’ll read the Ladyblog._

“Dude!” Nino said, catching up to him. His DJ friend laid a hand on Adrien’s shoulder. “What are you doing?”

His father and Kagami’s questions came back to haunt Adrien, and he held up his hands. “What do you mean, Nino?” 

Nino looked exasperated. “With Marinette.”

“What about Marinette?”

“You _know_ what I’m talking about, Dude,” Nino said, poking him in the chest. “I didn’t know you had a thing for her.”

“A thing?” Adrien said, puzzled. “I don’t have a ‘thing’ for Marinette.”

Plagg vibrated under his shirt. _Probably laughing, the cheeky bugger._

“Could have fooled me,” Nino muttered, and Adrien stuffed his growing annoyance. “Dude, she has a boyfriend. And you have Kagami.”

“I know that,” Adrien said hotly, not stuffing his annoyance as much as he would have liked. “Marinette and I are just friends. I’m not doing anything with her.”

“She brings you a second lunch everyday.”

“That’s because she’s compassionate. And she’s cutting down on that anyway.”

Nino stared at him. “Whatever, Dude.”

Adrien huffed and looked to the Gorilla. “Look, we’ll talk later. I’ve got to get home.”

“Sure,” Nino said, already turning away. 

The ride home was a bumpy one for Adrien. _I don’t have a ‘thing’ for Marinette. We’re just friends._ He folded his arms, still cross from the chastening Nino gave him. Nino was supposed to be his friend. Adrien didn’t know what had happened. 

_Did I do something seriously wrong? What did I do?_ Adrien was flummoxed. And annoyed with himself. Clearly he _had_ done something, because otherwise why would Nino give him a Talk? Adrien cursed himself. He was usually more insightful and introspective than this. 

Then it dawned on him. _Of course. The Lip Incident,_ he thought. _But all I did was stop her from biting her lip. Not… Not that it looked like that from the outside. Alya and Nino… saw…. Exactly what they saw. Oh._

“Arrgh!” Adrien said aloud, causing the Gorilla to look over his shoulder at Adrien and grunt. “Why does this have to be so complicated!”

Gorilla grunted again.

***

After Nathalie left Adrien alone in his room (she’d wanted to go over tomorrow’s schedule), he started muttering about not having a ‘thing’ for Marinette.

Plagg burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Adrien snarled.

“Nothing,” Plagg said, his huge, green eyes twinkling.

“Liar,” the boy said, scowling. “She’s just a friend, Plagg. Besides, I’m in love with Ladyb--Kagami.” 

Adrien caught the mistake as soon as he said it. It was clearly just an outcropping of his old habit: saying he was in love with Ladybug. He’d been dating Kagami for months now, and hadn’t yet told her he loved her. He wondered if she was ready for that step.

“Sure, kid,” Plagg said, as he snarfed down the wedge of camembert Adrien had given him. “Just realize that you have options.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Plagg gave his charge a toothy grin. “Nothing.”

“Liar.”

***

“Ladybug,” Chat said, mouth watering as she dished out Italian meatloaf at their meeting place. They’d placed seats there, and he’d scrounged up a small nightstand from a Dumpster that they used as a table. They had to brush the snow off every night, but it was nice having a place to sit. “You don’t have to bring me dinner anymore.”

“Oh?” she said, not pausing in plating the food. She picked it up, and waved it back and forth in front of him. His eyes followed the plate helplessly. His stomach growled.

She smiled, and Chat flushed.

“How about this,” she said, handing him the plate so he could start tucking in, “I’ll bring you dinner on the weekends.”

That sounded good to him. With Marinette feeding him as Chat on Mondays and Thursdays, Marinette feeding him as Adrien on Tuesdays and Fridays, and Ladybug feeding him on the weekends, all he had to worry about was Wednesdays. The schedule would blunt the rough edges of his hunger well enough. He’d probably get enough to eat then. “Okay,” he said, chewing. He’d already cleared his plate, and held it out for more meatloaf.

She laughed.

 _I am so lucky,_ Chat thought, smiling as she plated more food for him. _Two people care for me._

He knew then that he’d do anything to protect them. He’d always known he’d die for Ladybug, but the protective urge for Marinette was new, and overwhelming. 

Stuffing his face, he chose not to explore the feeling, just luxuriated in the comfort of being with his Lady on a snowy night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Adrien dissociates in this chapter.

Adrien still didn’t know why his father approved of him practicing with Kitty Section, but as he approached the Liberty the day after Ladybug served him meatloaf, he was beyond glad. Seeing his friends and hanging out with them was the highlight of his life. His father seemed to be a tiny bit more lax about that recently, too, which was a heartening sign.

The icy Seine was choppy; the blowing wind cut through his puffy coat like shards of broken glass. Adrien shivered. He boarded the boat and gave _bisous_ \--French air-cheek kisses--to Rose, Juleka, Mylene, and Marinette. Luka and Ivan waved and smiled. 

“Hi, guys,” Adrien said, grinning. 

“Hi, Adrien,” Luka said, in that soft, mellow tone of voice he used with everyone. “Come eat.”

“Come eat?” Adrien said, following the group into the galley of the boat. 

“Yeah,” Rose squeaked. “Having a snack was Marinette’s idea, but it’s a great one!”

 _Of course it was,_ he said, smiling at the girl in question. She blushed and smiled back.

As they ate, Adrien was fascinated by observing how Luka made Marinette comfortable in her own skin. The rest of the group’s conversation went by the wayside for him; he was totally focused on the couple, who seemed to only be focused on themselves.  
The seventeen-year-old guitarist would whisper something in her ear, and she’d laugh; he’d gently squeeze her shoulder at times; and he held her hand, lacing his black-tipped fingers into hers. She leaned into him, once pressing a shy kiss to his cheek when she seemed to think no one was looking. By the time the group had finished eating, Marinette was draped around Luka, with his hand protectively on her hip, practically pulling her into his lap.

Adrien couldn’t stop smiling. _Good for her. Marinette deserves someone who can make her happy._

Luka caught Adrien’s watchful eye--as he had more than once during the snack--which Adrien chose to ignore, instead observing Marinette. Luka winked, drawing Adrien’s attention. He chose that moment to tickle Marinette, and she giggled and squealed, bucking her way off his lap and slapping his hands away.

Luka laughed, and Adrien laughed with him.

 _He deserves her, too,_ Adrien thought, watching Marinette scold her boyfriend.

Or did he? _Did_ Luka deserve Marinette? The thought was just a whisper in Adrien’s brain, which he brutally squashed before it infected his mood. Luka was his friend. Luka deserved happiness, too, and if it was Marinette who could give it to him, Adrien was happy for them.

He wasn’t jealous at all.

After all, he had Kagami. 

_Why didn’t I invite Kagami here?_ Adrien thought. _Oh, right. I did; she just had fencing training with her mother. That’s too bad._

“Adrien,” Luka said, arresting his thoughts. Somehow, between being scolded and Adrien’s thoughts about it, the guitarist had picked up one of his instruments. “I’m glad you’re eating more now. You were like this,” he said, playing a discordant, high-pitched set of chords which was painful to listen to, “but now you’re like this.” Luka’s fingers plucked out a smooth, pleasant melody, and Adrien nodded.

“Yeah, things were… dicey for a while,” Adrien said. “But now I’m much better.”

Marinette’s eyes went wide. Adrien realized his statement was the closest he’d come to admitting that things were bad for him--as Adrien. Chat had no such compunction.

The group’s gazes on him were soft and pitying, and Adrien shifted in his seat, feeling uncomfortable. 

“Come on, guys, it’s not like I was starving or anything, hahaha. Ha,” Adrien said, his hand finding its way to its usual spot on the back of his head. 

Marinette pressed her lips into a thin line, and he knew he’d pissed her off.

He tried again. “My father increased... my calories?”

The growl issuing from Marinette’s lips surprised everyone. Rose and Juleka leaned away from her. 

“That’s the _only_ reasonable thing he’s done,” Marinette snapped.

Adrien opened his mouth to defend his father, but Luka struck up a chord again. “In any case, you’re feeling better now, and that’s good,” Luka said. “Shall we play?”

Relief washed over Adrien. His shoulders, which he hadn’t realized were tense, sagged. “Yeah, yeah, let’s play.”

***

Later that afternoon, Adrien sat with Kagami on the floor of his room, playing Buta no shippo, a Japanese card game she’d introduced him to. He played a Joker, an attack card, and grinned at her.

“Your move, Mil--uh, Kagami,” he said, watching her select her card and place it in the “pig’s tail,” a circle of face-down cards on the floor between them. 

“I’m glad you figured something out now,” she said, looking to his face.

“I haven’t chosen my card yet.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

Puzzled, Adrien tried to figure out what her non sequitur meant. She seemed fond of them; her normal tactic to tell him she was worried about him was to ambush him without preamble.

He chose a card and placed it down on the floor. “What do you mean?”

Kagami’s eyes trailed over his body, making his chest tight. Heat started crawling up his neck. “You’re not starving anymore.”

He cleared his throat. Suddenly, sitting across from him, walled off behind her hand of cards, she was too close. “No. My father increased my calories.”

Unlike Marinette, Kagami didn’t growl. “That’s good to hear.”

Having been subject to a once-over by Kagami, Adrien felt he was within his rights to give her one as well. His eyes traveled from her red skirt with the blue-and-white intersecting vertical lines to her white, long-sleeved blazer. He skated quickly over her chest, pulse racing; his gaze came to rest on the freckles on her pale cheeks. 

Her hair, he noted, was beautiful: short and dark blue, swept to the left. He could swear he saw light blue reflections in it. She was slender, he realized, with a finely-honed athlete’s body. 

He also realized that this was the first time he’d really considered his girlfriend’s body. He dropped his cards and buried his face in his hands.

Kagami scooted closer and gently extricated his face. When he looked up at her, he saw her sharp, yellow-brown eyes were amused. He noted they were the same color as the chocolates box she’d gotten him for their two-month anniversary.

Which Chat had given to Marinette, his subconscious reminded him.

But Adrien was too focused on the girl in front of him to be thinking of someone else. His gaze flicked to her coral lips. He licked his own. He felt warm, but not uncomfortably so.

Kagami seemed to note where his eyes went. She cupped his cheeks in her hands and leaned forward, gently pressing her mouth to his. She didn’t move after that, clearly expecting him to make the next move.

Adrien closed his eyes. He tentatively responded to her kiss, feeling clumsy in a dance he didn’t know the steps to. He’d given plenty of _bisous_ before, but never anything on the lips. He didn’t know if he was ready to take this step, but he was clearly taking it.

Just as she took the initiative before--as she always did--she moved her hand to the back of his neck and carefully tugged him forward. His hand shot out to rebalance himself, landing on the cards on the floor. Her mouth moved against his, shooting streaks of heat through his cheeks. Her hand kneaded the nape of his neck.

He idly wondered if he should have kept chewing gum, whether his breath tasted bad. He couldn’t really get a taste of Kagami, but he knew her taste wasn’t awful. 

She snaked her tongue out to trace his lips. He gasped, parting them, and she stuck her tongue inside his mouth.

 _This is weird!_ he thought, jerking back.

Kagami watched him impassively. “Your indecision is hurtful, Adrien,” she said, and smiled. The phrase had become an inside joke between them, so he knew she was trying to defuse the situation. She looked proud of something; he imagined the subject of her pride was him.

“I’m sorry,” he said, hanging his head. His bangs fell forward over his eyes. 

She traced her hand on the nape of his neck down to his chest. “Don’t be. I knew you weren’t ready for that, and I pushed anyway. I should be the one to apologize. I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m--”

“Adrien,” Kagami said, placing a finger under his chin and raising his face to look at her. “I promise never to push you again. Will you forgive me?”

Adrien gave her a watery smile. “Already done,” he said. She watched him, seeming to expect something. He wondered what to say next.

“I love you,” he blurted out. 

“What?” Kagami said, thrown off for once in her life. 

He switched to Japanese, thinking her native language would be more accessible to both of them. “Aishite imasu," Adrien repeated, the formal words not coming any easier. He tried a third time, in French. “I love you, Kagami.”

_That’s better. Third time’s the charm._

Adrien watched as a faint blush rose in Kagami’s beautiful cheeks. He loved how the light caught her eyes. He loved how calm she made him feel. He loved her taking the initiative when he was too cowardly.

He realized he did love her--all of her. And even though she couldn’t love all of him--with Salad getting in the way--she did her best. 

And he loved her for that, too.

“I love you, too, Adrien.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	10. Chapter 10

In the week after cutting down on food visits with both of his ladies, Adrien had developed a bad habit he couldn’t seem to break: instead of eating the extra goodies Marinette packed him--and Ladybug now, too--he squirreled them away in his closet. His shoe organizer was stuffed full of croissants, apples, and cold Ziploc bags full of extra dinners.

The thought of going hungry again made him feel some of the worst fear he’d ever felt. So he hoarded, and never touched his Stash. 

Even with his lunches with Marinette, whenever she’d brought a portion of a meal that he could hoard, like pastries, he only ate half of it and stuffed the rest away in his book bag. He carried food on him at all times, never touching it, for fear he’d run out. His bag was packed to the brim.

“Adrien,” Marinette said at the lunch break in class, after watching him try to cram a half-eaten apple into his already-stuffed bag. “I’m worried about you.”

“Huh?” he said, flashing her a smile he knew was dazzling. He set the fruit aside on their desk, vowing to stuff it in his bag for later. “What for?”

“You’re… You’re not eating enough again,” she said, her bluebell eyes laced with concern. He was touched she’d noticed, but also kicked himself: she shouldn’t have to notice. He didn’t want her to run herself ragged again for his sake. _Never again_.

He ran a hand over the back of his head. Her gaze flicked to his book bag, and he knew he was caught. 

“Adrien,” she said, laying a hand on his shoulder, “what are you doing?”

 _Does everyone have to ask me that question?_ Adrien thought irritably. _No. I should be calm. This is Marinette. She only has my best interests at heart._

“I--” he started, only to be interrupted by an akuma alert buzzing on his phone. Madame Bustier told the students to leave without taking their bags, as per the usual evacuative strategy. Adrien felt a flare of panic as he always did when battling an akuma during the school day: what if something happened to his food?

Chloe grasped his shoulder just outside the classroom. “Oh, an akuma! Who will save us? Not _Ladybug,_ , surely,” she said, a scowl twisting her pretty lips. “Maybe Chat Noir? He’s pretty cute.”

“Ha, he’d love to hear that, I’m sure,” Adrien said, shaking her off. The akuma alarmed him; he had to make sure Marinette was safe. He spotted her at the front of the pack, and pushed his way through.

“Marinette!” he said, catching her by the arm. “Stay here. It’s not safe.”

She offered him a grim smile. “I know. You, too.”

“But I have to go to the bathroom,” he said, smiling too wide. “Hahaha, you know me and my overactive bladder, hahahaha!”

 _What the heck was that?_ Adrien thought, as embarrassment lit his cheeks. 

“Uh, right,” she said, glancing over her shoulder, seemingly distracted. “I actually have to go to the bathroom, too? So, uh, see you afterwards.”

“Yeah, see you,” he said, and beat a hasty retreat to the boy’s room. 

Plagg was rolling on the air, laughing. “Overactive bladder?” 

“Oh, be quiet,” Adrien said, glaring at his kwami. “Plagg, claws out!”

Minutes later, Chat was soaring through the skies of Paris, heading to the Trocadero, where the akuma had taken over. He mused that this had been the place of many, many akumas. 

At least, he _thought_ this is where the akuma would be. There was already footage on the Ladyblog of a lizard-man blowing gaseous clouds of green smoke out of his large mouth, and that was at Trocadero. But when Chat arrived, all he could find was people convulsing in the snowy street--including, to his horror, Alya.

“Alya!” he yelled, vaulting himself over to her. Drool leaked out of the corner of her mouth, and sweat beaded on her forehead. Her phone, resting to the side of her head, had a cracked screen. She wasn’t bleeding. Panicked, Chat turned her to the side, so she wouldn’t choke on her tongue. _That’s what I’m supposed to do, right?_

“Alya,” he said, his eyes filling with tears. She looked to be in pain. “Where did the akuma go?”

She turned her glazed, desperate eyes to him. “D-Dupont.”

He gasped. _Marinette is at Dupont!_

Ladybug chose that moment to arrive. “Chat,” she said, staring at Alya in terror, “where’s the akum--”

“Dupont!” Blinded by fear, he left Alya and Ladybug and helicoptered his way back to the school. The akuma had already arrived, and he cursed himself for missing it on the way to Trocadero. The snow-dusted courtyard was filled with emerald gas, and the students unlucky enough to be caught out in the open were seizing on the concrete.

Chat pressed a button on his baton, changing its function into a rebreather. He held it up to his mouth and dove feet first into the courtyard to search for Marinette among the students. He almost slipped on a patch of ice, but recovered his ground. Both relieved and perturbed that he didn’t find her, he glared at the akuma.

The lizard-man akuma blew its gas at him. _I have my rebreather, so I won’t go into convulsions, at least,_ Chat thought, finally surveying the situation. _But I can’t get back up to the roof without my baton._

“Chat!” Ladybug screamed from up on the roof. He figured she’d come to the same conclusion. 

The lizard-man bent his powerful legs, and launched himself up onto the roof. She started throwing her yo-yo up in the air, in a gesture Chat recognized instantly: calling for her Lucky Charm. 

Chat’s eyes widened. Ladybug was defenseless. “Ladybug!” he screamed through his rebreather. He held his breath, and tore his baton away from his mouth. Vaulting up to the roof, he tackled her just as green gas spewed from the lizard-man’s mouth. 

Chat gasped, inhaling the smoke. Pain struck him like lighting, and his eyes rolled into the back of his head as he fell onto the roof, seizing. He couldn’t see Ladybug, but he could hear her. “Lucky Charm!”

Out of the corner of his eye, Chat could see that she’d called a massive, industrial fan. He loved it when her Lucky Charm was straightforward. She flicked the fan on, and blew away the gas.

Unable to concentrate on her anymore, he convulsed on the roof, giving himself over to the full-body agony. He barely had the conscious thought to try and turn himself so he wouldn’t bite his tongue. Ladybug did it for him. 

Somehow--he didn’t know how and couldn’t spare a thought to it--she dispatched the akuma.

“Miraculous Ladybug!” she cried, and her millions of tiny helpers whirled around Paris. Chat stopped seizing. The mindblowing pain was gone, but the aftereffects were not. He lay back on the roof, his muscles still spasming occasionally. His vision cleared.

 _Alya was stuck seizing for... I don’t know how long,_ he thought, mournfully. _I’m sorry, Alya._

Ladybug knelt by him, brushing his sweaty bangs off of his forehead. “Chat,” she whispered. “What are you doing?”

_Not Ladybug, too._

“W-What do you mean?” he said, flashing a weak Chat-grin. 

Ladybug’s eyes hardened. “You jumped in there without looking again. I thought we were over that. What were you so worried about that you couldn’t think about strategy?”

Chat frowned. “Not a what, a who. Someone I care about was in that school.”

“And you put looking for them over your own safety?” Ladybug said, incredulous.

Chat’s frown deepened. “I…”

“Chat,” Ladybug snapped. “Get your head on straight.”

She crossed to the akumatized victim, whom he’d completely forgotten about. Speaking in low tones to the teenaged boy, she comforted him as long as her chirping earrings would allow.

Chat rolled to the side. He got to his feet, and realized his knees were weak. He leaned on his baton. _I have to find Marinette._

He hadn’t used Cataclysm, so his ring--or Plagg, he supposed--wasn’t chirping at him to detransform. He had plenty of time to go find her. 

Though, as he poked around the school, peeking into windows, she wasn’t anywhere to be found. Panic gripped him in its tendrils. “Where are you?”

Checking Madame Bustier’s classroom one more time, he finally saw his Marinette walk through the door. His heart unclenched. 

She looked around. “Has anyone seen Adrien?” she shrieked. 

_Ah. That’s my cue to go._

After a quick detransformation in an alleyway behind the school, Adrien ran back to the class. “Sorry I’m late, I--”

He let his breath out in a whoosh when Marinette launched herself at him, landing on his chest with a thump. She flung her arms around him. “Don’t you dare do that again!”

“What?” Adrien said, flushing at her touch. “Go to the bathroom?”

Marinette burst into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	11. Chapter 11

Monday night had started out okay. Now it was great.

Four days after the akuma attack that left Chat seizing, he sat next to Marinette on her chaise longue, doing his homework, her head on his shoulder. Earlier this evening, after they’d retreated to her room following a game of Le Donjon with her parents, she sat sitting at her desk, designing. Frustrated with some snag in the process, she’d stomped over to the desk chair next to the chaise longue. She fidgeted, seeming to not be able to settle.

“Marinette, you look awfully uncomfurtable on that chair,” Chat had punned, with a Chat-tastic, toothy grin.

“What do you expect to do about that?” she’d asked, a wicked gleam in her eye.

Chat blanched. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. “Uh. Maybe you could sit here… with me?”

She furrowed her brow, considering his words. From the change in her expression, she seemed to come to some kind of decision. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Chat blurted out, as she started crawling into chaise longue with him. “Okay! Okay.”

“Nervous, Chat?” Marinette said, stopping immediately. “I don’t want to make you uncomfurtable.”

That she’d taken his pun and served it back to him like a tennis ball relaxed him. “No, it’s fine. I don’t mind. Just, uh, don’t look at what I’m working on, because it might give you a clue to my identity.”

“We wouldn’t want that,” Marinette said enigmatically, and before Chat could puzzle out her tone, she’d settled herself beside him, shoulder to shoulder. 

As the night went on, she leaned on him more and more. Now their thighs were touching. accidentally flustering him. Chat continued to do his homework out of sheer cussedness. He commended himself for not showing her his heightened emotional state and chasing her off.

But it wasn’t just his emotions that were heightened: his senses were in overdrive. The heat and pressure of her skull on his shoulder was wonderful. Her hair tickled his neck and the underside of his chin, driving him to distraction. Her delicious scent--strawberry shampoo, vanilla, cinnamon, and especially strong, coffee--wafted into his nose. 

Chat felt hot, wondering again and again if he was having the same effect on her.

Her head continued to sink onto his shoulder--collarbone now. He wasn’t complaining at all.

At the point where he thought she couldn’t avoid looking at his homework, she let out a little snore.

He laughed, quietly, so as not to wake her up. _I’m an idiot,_ he thought. _How long has she been asleep? I bet it’s been a while._

Now he had another problem: namely, how to extricate himself from this situation.

He closed his Historie textbook, making a cloud of paper scent. Slowly, ever so slowly, he leaned away from her. She moved with him, practically falling over. He dropped the book over the chaise longue frame, wincing as the book landed on the floor with a thump. 

Stealing a glance back at her, he noted with relief that she was still zonked out. Her chest rose and fell with steady, deep breaths. In fact, he wondered how tired she really was; he noticed how pale she was, and that she had eyebags again.

 _Is it my fault?_ he wondered, alarmed. If he was running her ragged again, he’d never forgive himself. 

For now, though, he had to get out from under her. He stretched a booted foot out on the floor, and scooted closer to the edge of the chaise longue. She slid down him, landing with her head in his lap. 

“Mmm, Kitty,” she murmured, a sound that sent a shock of heat throughout his body. She rolled over, placing her cheek on his inner thigh, and wrapped an arm around his hips. He felt her hot breath on his skin _through_ his supersuit, something he’d have to ask Plagg about later. Chat’s tail curled. 

Chat found himself short of breath. His green cat-eyes dilated, flooding his night vision with more light. _Whoa. Okay, I’ve really got to go._

He gently moved her arm off of his hips, setting it beside them on the chaise longue. Carefully working his clawed hands under her face, he lifted her head and scooted out from under her. He paused mid-scoot to see if she was still asleep. Under the thudding sound of his own heart, his feline ears caught the sound of her slow, even breathing, and her steady heart rate. 

_She’s still out. Thank goodness._

Chat finished getting out from under her, tenderly laying her head down on her pillow. He found a pink blanket crumpled at the end of her bed in the loft, and drew it across her body, tucking her in. 

She snored again. He covered his mouth with his clawed hand, stifling a laugh. He looked down at her angelic face. She started mumbling something unintelligible, and pursed her pink lips.

He wondered, not for the first time, what it would be like to kiss those lips. 

As a friend, of course. 

Chat placed a hand on the wall and leaned down, close enough to feel her coffee-laced breath on the exposed parts of his mask. He wouldn’t dream of kissing her lips while she was unconscious. _I’m not a creeper._

Remaining close, he inhaled her heady scent. He kissed her temple instead, just like she’d done to him the first time he’d fallen asleep in her room. 

“Goodnight, Purrincess,” he whispered, straightening.

 _I need a shower. After all, I didn’t get one after school today. I need one for that reason alone,_ he mused. _Obviously._

After gathering his things, Chat launched himself into the night sky, off to take that shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	12. Chapter 12

Adrien couldn’t be happier. His father was joining him for dinner Thursday night.

With rapt attention, Adrien watched as Gabriel sipped on his kir, a before-dinner drink made from crème de cassis and white wine. Their l’aperitif--appetizers--were gougeres, delicious bite-sized cheese puffs made from choux pastry. They were Gabriel’s favorite, and Adrien was pleased to think that Father was in a good mood.

The boy couldn’t have been more wrong.

“Adrien,” his father said, in a tone that made Adrien feel as if he’d been caught in a mousetrap, “I have something to discuss with you.”

Adrien looked up sharply, sitting up ramrod straight. “Yes, Father?”

The corners of Gabriel’s mouth pulled down at the corners, and Adrien’s heart sank. “The maid found ants in your room. And a veritable cornucopia of food in various degrees of rottenness. Do you have anything to say for yourself, son?”

Heat crawled up Adrien's cheeks. He hadn’t touched his Stash in a while, except to stuff more food into the shoe organizer and closet. That a lot of it was rotten--and therefore the rest unrecoverable--made him sick to his stomach. A stone sank in his belly. _All that food… wasted._

And now his father knew he’d been hoarding. He hung his head.

“Adrien?”

“Father, I…” Adrien started, and licked his lips. “My friends thought I was too skinny. So they begged me to take the food.” He cast about for a plausible reason that he would have kept it. “I know I’m on a restrictive diet, and I didn’t want to go off of that out of respect for your wishes. I didn’t want to throw away any of the food, so I stored it in my closet, intending to give it back to my friends later.”

It was the perfect lie, and he knew it. He hated lying to his father. That he’d ostensibly hoarded food out of respect for Father’s wishes twisted the knife deeper.

A muscle in Gabriel’s cheek twitched. Otherwise he looked to be made of hard, flinty stone. “And now it’s all wasted, because of your incompetence.”

Adrien jerked back as if slapped. 

Gabriel continued. “You will clean up the mess. I’ll not have the maid be subject to your folly; that’s not her job. And get rid of the ants.”

“Yes, Father,” Adrien said, dry-eyed. He refused to cry in front of his father, to be made to cry from his father’s words, but Adrien felt the pressure of frustrated tears behind his eyes.

Plagg vibrated under his shirt. Adrien could sense the kwami's anger.

“Enjoy your dinner, Adrien,” Gabriel said, leaving the kir, the gougeres, and his son behind.

***

Adrien wasn’t hungry for the rest of dinner, so he pushed the Blanquette de Veau around on his plate until Nathalie arrived. She did the same maneuver she’d done a month ago, leaving him a wheel of camembert with a raised brow. Even that didn’t cheer him up.

He reluctantly cleared his plate, and armed with trash bags and a can of Raid, went to his room to face the Stash. 

Plagg phased out of his shirt. “Kid…”

“Je dois m'occuper de quelque chose, Plagg,” Adrien said tonelessly. I have to take care of something.

“I’ll come get you for patrol when you’re done.”

Apprehension built up in Adrien’s chest as he stared down the closet. He reached out for the recessed handle of the sliding door, and hesitated. _It’s just a closet,_ he thought, and then said it aloud. “It’s just a closet.”

Plagg paced in the air over his bed.

Adrien opened his closet, and was hit with a scent of mold so strong it curled his nose. _How did I not notice this before?_

He opened the first black garbage bag, and went to work. Soft, brown, half-eaten apples dissolved in his hands. The pastries were stale and hard. A slimy film covered everything.

Gritting his teeth against the smell and feel--he should have worn gloves--of the massive quantity of wasted food, Adrien doggedly filled three trash bags. He tied off the third, and opened a forth. The shoe organizer was a lost cause; he couldn’t wash it, so he had to dispose of it. 

And clean his shoes.

Sighing, Adrien walked into the bathroom to wash his hands and wet a few rags to wipe down his collection of shoes.

He turned on the sink, plugged it, and waited until the water was scalding hot. Plunging his filthy hands into the water, Adrien gasped. _Too hot._ He pulled his already reddening palms out, and turned off the faucet. Two pumps of soap from the dispenser later, he scrubbed his hands furiously, almost taking the skin off. Tears which he’d been avoiding all evening leaked out of his eyes despite his best efforts. They rolled off his snotty nose and landed with _plonks_ in the sink water.

“All that food. All that food! Wasted!” he snarled, incandescent with rage at himself. 

He’d not only wasted food, he’d betrayed Marinette’s and Ladybug’s trust in him, which was the real crime. They were trusting him to eat the food they provided. And he didn’t. He squirreled it away, allowing himself to be driven entirely by fear and insecurity.

Adrien knew he’d have to confess to each of them, and that broke his heart.

He vowed never to hoard food again.

After drying his hands, he returned reluctantly to the closet with wet rags. He had to psych himself up to go there, but he succeeded by repeating, “It’s just a closet. It’s just a closet…” to himself until his face turned red. He wiped down his shoes as best he could, wishing he could throw out the lot of them. They stank, like everything in the closet. He didn’t know how he was going to get the smell out.

Armed with a can of Raid, Adrien looked for the ants. They were there, scurrying across the thick, plush carpet and crawling up the walls above the white trim. He was shocked he hadn’t noticed them before.

Pressing the button on the can with his index finger, he was almost bowled over by the chemical odor. If he’d been doing this as Chat, he would have passed out. As it was, his eyes watered. He sprayed down the ants, watching them twitch and die with grim satisfaction.

He took out the trash, replaced the remaining trash bag and the vile can of Raid in the utility closet, and prepared to face his Lady.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	13. Chapter 13

_There she is_ , Chat thought miserably, seeing his Lady in red holding two coffee cups--double chocolate espresso for her, black for him--on their fated rooftop. 

As always, Ladybug knew immediately when something was wrong with Chat. As he landed on the snowy roof, feline ears flattened against his head and tears in his eyes, she set the coffees down on the nightstand, which she’d already cleared of snow. Then she opened her arms.

He dropped his baton with a metallic clatter and fell into her arms, burying his head into her neck. She smelled of coffee, vanilla, and chocolate; his favorite scents, and so much better than the Raid he’d used to kill the ants in his closet. That still stung his nose.

He knew he had to tell her he’d betrayed her trust. He just… didn’t want to.

Chat clung to her. Snowflakes landed on his hair and eyelashes. He bit the bullet. “‘M’sorry,” he mumbled against her, hoping she heard him so he didn’t have to repeat himself.

To his relief, she did. “What are you sorry for, Chat?” she whispered, dragging her nails across his scalp in soothing circles.

“Broke your trust,” he mumbled.

“What?” she said, and he looked up, green eyes puffy under his mask. 

“I broke your trust. I’m sorry, Ladybug,” he said, accidentally repeating himself. 

“How?”

Chat winced. He didn’t expect her to be so disbelieving. It was as if her faith in him was unshakeable. Like his was in her.

He didn’t deserve her. He never had.

“Ladybug,” Chat said, his tongue thick in his dry mouth, “I haven’t been eating the food you’ve been giving me.”

Ladybug looked stunned. She gaped, opening and closing her mouth like a cod bringing oxygen to its gills. She tore her hands out of his hair and grasped his shoulders too tightly, pushing him back a little so she could look him in the eyes. “What have you been doing with it?”

“Hoarding it,” he admitted, and started to cry again at the angry look in her eyes.

“Chat Noir,” she said, her voice tightly controlled, “what is _wrong_ with you?”

Chat opened his mouth to say something, but she exploded, pushing away from him and babbling to herself. “I knew you were too skinny for all the food you were getting. I _knew_. I knew, and yet I looked away because I figured you knew what you were doing, that you could take care of yourself. But no, clearly that was a huge mistake because you were _hoarding_ the food instead of eating it!”

She blew a frustrated snort out through her nose. “I can’t believe you.”

“Ladybug,” Chat said, holding up his hands. “I’m sorry.” Hot tears rolled down his cheeks. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. I just… I was scared. I was so afraid I wouldn’t have any more food. I was driven by fear and--and it’s not fair to you what I was doing, but I was so scared!”

He dropped to a crouch in the snow, wrapping his arms around his knees. “I’m sorry.”

Ladybug's gaze softened. For a moment, Chat thought she might relent. But then she turned away. “I’m sorry, too,” she said, in a tone laced with regret. “I’m sorry you were scared, Chat Noir. But right now I’m too angry.”

His feline ears caught the sound of her unwinding her yo-yo before he saw her doing it. “Where are you going?”

“Out. Away. I’ll get over this, but not right now.”

She whipped her hand off the railing of the roof, releasing her yo-yo with a _zing_. It caught on a nearby chimney. With one last glare at Chat, she leapt off the rooftop and disappeared into the night.

 _Well,_ Chat thought, wondering if he’d ever been more miserable in his life, _that could have gone better._

***

Chat didn’t know how long he sat on the ice-cold rooftop, curled into himself. His tears had dried on the exposed part of his face. Though the rest of his body was in a temperature-regulated supersuit, his cheeks felt chilled. He checked the time on his baton--11:26pm---and realized the day was Thursday. He had to go see Marinette today. 

And confess.

He shuddered, thinking of Ladybug's regretful tone. Marinette would be just as angry, if not more so.

Chat had no idea how he was going to get back in Ladybug’s good graces. He was more than reluctant to get out of Marinette’s. 

But he had to confess. Marinette deserved the truth.

Sighing, he vaulted off into the night sky. By the time he landed on the bakery’s snowy roof with a thump, he was both despondent and filled with dread.

Marinette snapped the fogged-up skylight open immediately. “Chat,” she said icily. “You’re late.”

Chat flinched. He didn’t expect Marinette to be frosty already. “Uh, yeah,” he said, rubbing the back of his head with a hand, a habit he’d formed as Adrien. “Surprise?”

Marinette ducked down into the room without a word, clearly expecting him to follow. He hesitated, and then went through the skylight, just as silent.

She was fuming, pacing back and forth in front of her chaise longue. She twisted her fingers in her hand, an action that Chat idly noted looked painful. “What happened?” he said, worried about whatever had set her on the warpath. He jumped down the ladder from her loft bed and landed with a thump on her floor near the trapdoor to the downstairs.

She glared at him, and he began to suspect she was angry with _him_. The feeling was distinctly uncomfortable, more so than with Ladybug. With Ladybug, he knew she’d get over it for the sake of their partnership. But Marinette… held grudges. Her long-standing feud with Chloe was proof of that.

“What happened?” he said again, his mouth dry.

“Nothing.”

He grimaced. “Did I do something--”

“No.”

"Are you mad at me?"

Marinette placed a hand on her forehead. He smelled salt. Tears gathered at the corner of her eyes. “Should I be mad at you, Chat?”

Chat closed his eyes. The question was physically painful. His shoulders were too tense for his own good. “Yes,” he said, reluctantly.

“Why?”

Chat found his words drying up. He knew he had to get them out before he lost his nerve. “Because I betrayed your trust. Instead of eating the food you lovingly prepared for me, I hoarded it. I stuffed the croissants and apples in my closet until they rotted. I’m so sorry, Mari.”

Marinette growled. “You _what_?”

“I was scared. I was so scared that I wouldn’t be able to get food anymore. So… So I hoarded it,” Chat said, opening his eyes.

She was steaming. Her fists were clenched in front of her, white-knuckled. Angry tears glazed her eyes. “You, stupid, stupid cat!” she cried, and launched herself at him.

Caught off guard, he barely stayed on his feet as he caught her. She began pounding on his chest with her fist. She was stronger than she looked, so though the supersuit protected him from most of the damage, he felt the dull thuds deep in his bones.

“Don’t you know that people _care_ for you, Chat?” she choked out through her sobs, still slamming his sternum. “Don’t you know that _I_ care?”

She was hurting. He’d done that. Chat had hurt her. 

He had to fix it.

Much like a cat, he began to nuzzle her temple with his nose. She stiffened, and stopped hitting him. A purr rose in his chest as he rubbed his cheek on hers. She seemed to focus on the sound and vibration, and stilled. 

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Marinette leaned into him. “I know.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again, rubbing his face all over her hair. 

“I know!” she said, and raised a fist. Chat thought she would hit him again. “Don’t you think I know that?”

“It’s all I can say,” he answered honestly. “I’ve made a mistake, Marinette. All I can do is beg for your forgiveness.”

Marinette growled again. “Don’t you dare hoard food again.”

“I won’t,” he said, relieved that she seemed to be coming off the edge of her anger-cliff.

She leaned back, and cupped his chin in her hands. “I’m still mad at you.”

“I know.”

“I’ll get over it,” she said, tears leaking from her eyes. “But not for a while.”

Hope bloomed in Chat’s chest. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling, watery though it was. “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	14. Chapter 14

Coming into Madame Bustier’s class on Friday, Adrien was filled with dread. He didn’t know how he could face Marinette for lunch. He had to psych himself up before even entering the classroom.

“Adrien,” Marinette said coolly from her seat, as he sat down.

 _Oh, good,_ Adrien thought hysterically. _She’s still angry._

A large part of him knew he deserved that anger. That she was well within her rights to be mad at Chat for a long, long time.

Chat. Not Adrien. He hoped.

All through class, he kept turning to watch her. She held herself stiff, even breaking her pencil lead as she dragged it across her paper. Her lips were pressed into a thin, pale line. She even growled a little, something he thought might be cute on another day. 

Nino leaned over to him. “Dude,” he whispered, “what’s with Marinette?”

“I--I don’t know,” Adrien lied. It wasn’t his smoothest lie, and he knew it.

Nino whistled. “I do not envy the poor target of her pissed-off-ness.”

“Neither do I,” Adrien whispered back.

Madame Bustier’s gentle voice filtered over to them. “Nino, Adrien, please concentrate on the class.”

Adrien flushed. “Yes, Madame.”

As the lunch break approached, he grew more and more afraid. He knew logically that he, as Adrien, wasn’t the target of Marinette’s anger, but he couldn’t help but feel that he was.

The break arrived, and he swallowed. Friday was her day to bring lunch for him.

To his utter shock and dismay, she had. After seating herself down at his desk, she slammed her cute, pink--just like her, Adrien thought--backpack down on the wooden surface. Adrien winced. She unzipped the bag stiffly, and started pulling out ham and cheese calzones, bananas, and a clafouti--a cherry-flavored dessert arranged in a buttered dish and covered with a thick, flan-like batter. 

She glared at his book bag. Unable to clean the mess out of it, Adrien had gotten a new one. He wondered if she’d noticed before. She certainly noticed now.

He swallowed thickly. It was time to take the plunge. “What happened?”

She snapped her eyes to him, as if seeing him for the first time. “A close friend,” she said carefully, “broke my trust.”

 _She still called me a friend,_ Adrien thought, giddy. _And I’m her close friend!_

She was still glaring at him. _Focus, Adrien._

“That’s terrible,” Adrien said, shifting under her scrutiny. “What did he do?”

Marinette peeled the banana. Adrien never knew someone could peel a banana bitterly. “He refused the help I offered him,” she said, taking a huge bite of her fruit.

“What an idiot,” Adrien said, and she shut her jaw so fast he heard her teeth clack together.

“He’s not an _idiot_ , Adrien,” she snarled, and he drew back. “Just… misguided.”

Adrien flushed with shame. He’d promised never to insult himself in her presence, and now he had. Not that she had any way of knowing that. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, picking up his calzone. He wasn’t hungry, but he forced himself to take a bite of it. “Why do you think he did it?”

“He said he was scared.”

“Maybe he was.”

“I _know_ he was scared,” she said, frustrated tears building in her eyes.

“I don’t think you do,” Adrien said glumly, looking to his feet. 

Marinette looked toward the blackboard, fidgeting. “I’m terrified, Adrien.”

Adrien turned his head, glancing at her. “What about?”

“Him,” she said, twisting her hands. “He’s facing this horrible problem all by himself, and I’m afraid he’s going to pull away from me and hurt himself.” Then she plunged the knife in. “Doesn’t he trust me?”

“Mari,” Adrien breathed. He dropped his calzone and took her hand. “Of course he does. Of course he trusts you.”

“Then, why…?”

“Because he thought he had to solve the problem alone,” Adrien said, just realizing the truth himself. “He’s used to being alone.”

“I know for a fact that he has a partner willing to help him,” she said, sniffling.

“It’s… It’s hard to wrap your head around the fact that someone cares for you if you’re not used to it.”

“But I was there,” she said, ripping her hand away. “I was there to help him, if he could only see it.” She scrubbed at her eyes with her palms.

 _Oh, Marinette,_ Adrien thought, his heart breaking for her all over again. “I’m sure he won’t make the same mistake again.”

“He’d better not,” Marinette said, taking a desultory bite of her banana. 

“He won’t,” Adrien promised.

Marinette finished her banana. Adrien started in on his. After a silence stretched between them like taffy, she broke it with a hitched breath. “I just don’t understand _why_ he was so scared.”

“He was probably traumatized,” Adrien murmured. “He was probably dealing with a huge issue, one he’d never dealt with before and didn’t know how to handle. One that wore him down from the inside. Trauma does funny things to people’s brains. Relying on someone to take care of his trauma probably made him feel weak.”

"But I still don't get why he wouldn't let me--"

"Marinette," Adrien said hollowly, "have you ever been hungry? Really, _really_ hungry? Do you know what it's like to not know if you'll ever eat again? The terror that comes from that uncertainty?" 

Marinette started. She worked her mouth a little. Then she gazed at him with wide eyes. "No. I've never felt that."

He shrugged, helplessly. "He has."

Marinette stared at him. Then she burst into tears. He squeezed her shoulders. “I’m sorry, Mari.”

She sniffed, wiping her snot on the back of her wrist. “What are you sorry for?”

“I can’t be sorry that my friend is hurting?”

“Of course you can,” she choked out. “But I’m the one who should be sorry.”

“What?” Adrien said, furrowing his brow. “What for?”

Finally, she met his eye. “I overreacted. I got angry rather than listening. I only thought of myself, and my fear for him. Not his.”

Adrien leaned over and kissed her cheek. “He’ll forgive you.”

Marinette tilted her head towards him. “You think?”

Adrien wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Pawsitive.”

That didn’t help. She only started crying again. “Why did it have to be so wonderful?”

“What?”

“Helping him.”

Adrien felt like there was broken glass where his heart was supposed to rest. 

Marinette went on. “Spending time with him. Designing with him in the room. We used to do homework together, you know? Having a study buddy of sorts was _so_ nice. Now… Now it’s all ruined until I apologize.”

“Take your time,” Adrien said, frowning. “You don’t need to get over anything overnight. You’ve clearly been hurt a lot, and that takes a while to process.”

Her response was crestfallen. “What about him? I hurt him, too.”

Adrien smiled at her. “Honestly, he’s fine. He’s probably just worried about you.”

She couldn’t meet his eye. Again. “He’s too good for me.” She bit her lip.

 _Please, stop doing that,_ Adrien thought, and ran his thumb across her bottom lip again. She looked up with a gasp, and he withdrew his hand. “Don’t say that, Mari. You had one bad reaction. That doesn’t mean you need to put yourself down or compare yourself negatively to other people,” Adrien said, frowning. “Besides, _he_ wouldn’t like you condemning yourself either. I’m certain about that.”

“Thank you, Adrien,” she said, and wrapped him up in a hug he was glad to return. “I won’t do that again. Any of it.”

“You’re welcome. And… I’m glad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	15. Chapter 15

On Saturday, Chat was shocked to find that Ladybug had actually brought him food. When he arrived on their fated, snowy rooftop, he saw she held a bag with the logo of Le Ruisseau Burger Joint printed on the paper.

Ladybug didn’t say a word to him. She didn’t even look at him. She handed him the burger and zipped off. He felt cold. 

And he wondered at the guilty look he'd caught in her eyes before she'd left.

Sniffling, Chat leaned on the snow-dusted railing and dug the burger and fries out of the bag. The food was delicious; the burger was truly one of the best he’d ever eaten. Crispy bacon, sweet tomatoes, crunchy lettuce, and creamy avocado burst into flavors and textures on his tongue. He loved eating as Chat. 

He noted with a dry, internal voice that he couldn’t have hoarded a burger as messy as that one, even if he’d wanted to.

Munching on Cajun fries, Chat wondered if he should call off patrol for Ladybug tomorrow. As soon as the thought popped into his head, he left a message for Ladybug to that effect.

“Hi, Ladybug,” he said, speaking into the camera on his baton. “I know you don’t want to hear from me right now, but I’ll take patrol for the next few days. Take them off. Heck, take a week off. You deserve it.”

He swallowed. “Okay. Bye. I mean, see you next Saturday. Bye.”

He replaced the baton in its usual resting place on his back. 

Chat wondered if he should do the same for Marinette. Whether she’d want to avoid him. The thought made his heart feel numb. 

Chat had sort of broken his promises to both Marinette and Ladybug; he wasn’t hoarding food anymore, but he’d bought some imperishable food--peanut butter and Cheerios and protein drinks--and had stuffed them under his bed. They were his New Stash.

Just in case. 

If he wasn’t going to get food from Marinette for a week or so (he hoped it wouldn’t be longer), then his New Stash would have to sustain him. The thought of not having food and attention again made him jittery, as if he’d downed 32oz of coffee all at once. He felt sick to his stomach, but he still finished the fries.

***

Monday rolled around inexorably. _Time to see Marinette,_ Chat thought, still uncertain of his welcome.

He’d seen Ladybug the day before, but like Saturday, she’d guiltily thrown takeout food at him and left. She didn’t show up for patrol Monday, which Chat thought was less than ideal, but probably fine. He’d told her not to come, after all. He wondered if she only showed up on the weekend because she “owed” him food.

Breathing deeply with closed eyes, Chat sat cross-legged on his and Ladybug’s rooftop, trying to psych himself up to go to Marinette’s. He couldn’t bear seeing her break down again.

 _Time to see Marinette,_ Chat repeated the thought as if it were a guided meditation. _Time to see Marinette._ He opened his eyes and slapped his exposed cheeks a few times, careful not to cut himself with his claws.

He stood, feeling weak but resolved. He had to figure out whether she still wanted to see him.

He owed her that much.

Helicoptering his way across the crown jewel of the Hexagon, Chat landed on her snowy balcony with a thump. He only realized then that he should have brought her something. Flowers, maybe. Or more chocolates. Kicking himself, he turned to go, when he saw the fogged-up skylight snap open. 

“Chat,” Marinette said. His name was more than he’d gotten out of Ladybug, so he considered that a good sign.

“Purrincess,” he said, thinking of saying something along the lines of _we meet again_ , but deciding against it at the last moment. His words dried up like a creek in summer. He floundered, his tongue feeling thick pressed up against his teeth.

She rolled her eyes. _Another good sign,_ he thought, watching her disappear into the room. She didn’t shut the skylight, so he followed her through it, wondering if going in without an explicit invitation was the right move.

By the time he climbed down the stairs from the loft and made his way to her chaise longue, she was already sitting at her desk, sewing some complicated pattern into a swatch of black fabric with day-glow green thread. He noted with hope that those were _his_ colors. _Is she still mad at me? Or is she teasing me?_

“No Le Donjon tonight?” he asked, glancing nervously at the trap door. 

“My parents went to bed early.” 

Chat stuffed his disappointment. He really liked her parents. And their Monday night tradition of playing board games. 

Marinette looked at him, and then tilted her chin towards the huge pile of pastries resting on her desk, near her computer. He shrugged, and she raised a brow, as if to say, “What are you waiting for?”

Feeling out of place, he crossed to them and picked up a nearby plate. He filled the plate with a stack of day-old croissants, cheese, and carrots. He sat down on the chaise longue and munched away--if not happily, then at least fine.

He didn’t bring a backpack this time. He figured Marinette would look down on him taking food back to his house with him.

The mystery of what she was making drove him to distraction. Chat Noir was a cat, after all, and dangling a puzzle in front of him was the same as waving a thread in front of him: he just had to take a swipe at it. 

The cuisine tasted amazing, as usual. Even day-old pastries were delicious when baked by the Dupain-Chengs. But as he watched Marinette puncture the fabric with the needle again and again, avoiding looking at him, the food turned to ash in his mouth.

_She’s still mad at me._

That didn’t seem right. She’d confessed to him as Adrien that she was terrified for him, and that she’d wanted his forgiveness. _Maybe.... She’s scared? Or guilty? Is that why she’s avoiding me?_

He finished his croissants, and crossed to the desk to fill another plate. Returning to the longue, he doggedly polished off that food as well. Out of sheer stubbornness, he ground the bread and carrots between his teeth.

Marinette was still sitting stiffly, drawing her needle through the black fabric. The conundrum of what she was working on drove him batty. He tried leaning forward to get a better look at what, exactly, had sucked up all of her attention--attention he couldn’t admit that he wanted--but she glared at him and turned her back on him. 

His belly felt uncomfortable. Chat didn’t know if his stomach upset was caused by the food or the atmosphere. He was at a loss for what to do next. Without bringing his homework, he didn’t have anything to work on. And clearly Marinette wasn’t going to throw him a ball of yarn. 

Chat found himself fantasizing about what he would do if things were well between the two of them. He’d crawl over on all fours and start rubbing his head on her hips and legs. “What’cha dooooin’?” he’d say, and she’d laugh and say, “down, kitty.” Then she’d tell him what she was working on--a present for him, how thoughtful!--and throw him that ball of red yarn with black spots. He’d get his claws tangled up, and roll on his back with his feet in the air, purring, and maybe she could stroke his belly, and then--

“Are you finished?” Marinette said, startling him out of his thoughts. 

For a second, he wondered if she meant he was done fantasizing, and felt embarrassed. Where was his mind going? Then he realized she meant the food. He looked down on his lap, where the empty plate rested. He stood, holding it.

“Yes,” he said, licking crumbs off his lips. “Thank you very much for the food.”

“Okay,” she said. That was all she said. She still wasn’t looking at him, her fists clenched on her pink-clad knees.

His heart sank into the depths of despair. _I won’t cry. Not now._

Sluggishly, as if he were swimming in molasses, Chat crossed to her desk and placed his plate on it. He pulled his baton out of its resting place on his back with halting movements. He turned to her and bowed, just as slowly. “Thank you, Purrincess. Shall I see you on Thursday?”

“Chat,” Marinette whispered, and he smelled her tears before he saw them. “I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you,” Chat said immediately. He straightened from his bow and took a step towards her. She didn’t shy away, a good sign, he thought.

“I totally overreacted. I wasn’t thinking, I… I just--”

“I forgive you,” Chat said, taking another step. He was completely in her space now, and she leaned towards him, a seemingly unconscious movement.

“I’m so sorry. I was totally focused on myself, and--”

“Mari,” Chat said, cupping her cheeks. He bent over, lowering his head until they were nose to nose. He could smell coffee on her hot breath, which skated over the exposed parts of his face. “ _I forgive you._ ”

She nodded in his hold, the tiniest of smiles gracing her face. “Okay. Thank you.”

“Of course. My pawleasure.”

She furrowed her brow. “Why _were_ you so scared?”

He started. That was not at all what he expected her to say. Chat released her face and stepped back, turning away slightly. 

“I… I…” he started, racking his brain to try and remember what he’d said as Adrien. “Starving… was too much for me to handle. And I thought I had to solve the problem by myself. I’m so sorry I didn’t trust in you as much as I should have. That was my first mistake.”

She nodded once.

He crouched down, placing his paws on the ground in front of him. “I was traumatized. Trauma… does funny things to people’s brains. I thought I could handle it myself. I’m used to doing things alone. I thought that if I had someone else solve my problem, I’d be weak.”

“Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, Chat,” Marinette said. 

“I know,” he said, “now.”

"But… _why_ were you so scared?" she pressed, wiping her teary eyes. "I don't understand."

Chat winced. It was a painful question. He didn't want to burden her with his feelings on the matter. But… she did ask. He wondered if she knew what she was getting into.

"Being hungry… hurts," he choked out over his thick tongue. "It's physically painful. Your stomach hurts and your head hurts and you… you just hurt, down to your bones. And you’re just… empty. You’re so empty, you begin to fear that you’ll never be full again."

Chat screwed his eyes shut. Maybe if he didn't look at her glistening eyes, he could keep talking. "All you can think about is food, little else. You find yourself getting angry at everyone and everything, even when they haven't done anything." 

He swallowed. His next words tumbled out of him in a rush. "Especially when they haven't done anything, because no one knows what it's like to be dizzy all the time or so scared you could spit, so incredibly uncertain about where your next meal is coming from, or how that knife in your stomach which never goes away feels like. And because they don't know, they don't or can't help you. And you're just searching, all the time, both for food and for someone to blame."

Chat was trembling. "That's what hunger is. What it does. It consumes you from the inside out."

He opened his eyes. Marinette had her hands over her mouth. Her eyes shone with emotions he couldn't identify.

Chat had to strain his feline ears to hear her raspy response. “I really like feeding you.”

He didn’t know what to say to that. The admission, and how much it seemed to pain her to make, made his heart hurt. “Why?”

“You’re my friend,” Marinette said weakly, spreading her hands. Tears rolled down her cheeks elegantly and dripped into her lap, where the black fabric rested. A cat’s paw print was sewn into it. “And I love my friends.” 

_She… loves me?_ Chat closed his eyes again, unable to bear watching her cry again. “I know.”

“Come back on Thursday,” she said, and he opened his eyes. She had already turned halfway away, but he could see she was picking at a loose thread.

“Okay. Thank you, Marinette.”

Chat plucked his baton off his back and vaulted into the night--right where an akuma alert waited for him. Cursing, he helicoptered his way to the snow-covered Eiffel Tower, where Nadja Chamock and the TVi crew were already on the scene.

The akuma was a Greek-statue-man with pillars for hands, Hommepilier by name. Chat snarled. “Not in the mood for this,” he yelled at the akuma.

“Me neither,” Ladybug said, landing next to him. She looked tired and keyed up all at once.

Fortunately, the battle was almost cathartic for the two superheroes. Chat took a great deal of pleasure taking chips out of the statue man’s “skin” with his baton. The catboy superhero took a hit to the chest which just about collapsed a lung, but other than that, he was fine. One Cataclysm and a Lucky Charm later, and the akumatized victim was revealed to be a professor of Greek history upset about being denied tenure.

Chat approached Ladybug after she de-evilized the purple butterfly and comforted the victim, nibbling on his lower lip. He knew he’d started that bad habit again because Marinette did it. Hearing Ladybug’s earrings chirp, he hesitated.

Daring to test the waters, he held up a trembling fist. “Pound it?”

Ladybug’s gaze flicked to his offering. He held his breath. 

She gently touched her knuckles to his, but didn’t say anything. Then she bugged out.

 _A good sign,_ Chat thought, his heart swelling.

Marinette was talking to him again. Now all he had to do was wait for Ladybug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains incidences of bullying and sexual harassment.

Winter break began on February 8th. All students in France took their summer holidays at the same time--from July 4th to August 31st--but for winter and spring holidays, the country was divided into three zones, staggering the time spent away from school. Paris fell into Zone C, which meant no school for Adrien from February 8th through the 23rd. 

Adrien hated winter break. His father had increased his calories again, which was great, but the rest of it sucked. Not only did Adrien have less time with his friends because of the lack of school, his father and Nathalie had scheduled back-to-back photoshoots practically every other day.

And, much to his displeasure, some of them were with Lila Rossi.

As he exited the sedan at the park nearby Marinette’s house, Adrien saw Lila getting her makeup done, and stifled a groan. Because he’d never forgiven her for messing with Marinette, pretending to be affectionate with Lila during photoshoots was pure torture.

He didn’t know why his father had chosen such a shameless liar as his muse--though, upon reflection, Adrien realized that her lies were probably the reason. Somehow, she’d hoodwinked Gabriel, which Adrien was grudgingly impressed by. His father was a living lie detector; Adrien had personal experience with Gabriel’s deep disappointment when he’d caught him lying about his nightly activities as Chat.

Sighing, Adrien shuffled to the makeup chair next to Lila and took a seat. “Lila.”

“Adrien,” she replied smoothly. 

He refused to give her a _bisou_ \--a French air-cheek kiss. He knew he was being rude, but there were just some things he couldn’t force himself to do. The makeup artist began applying foundation to his face. He looked straight ahead, but still caught Lila’s satisfied smirk from the corner of his eye.

“I trust you’re well, Adrien?” Lila said. Her makeup was flawless.

“Of course,” he said, hating the feel of the colored cream being slid across his face. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re supposed to ask how I am,” Lila said, letting out a dramatic, little sniff.

“How are you, Lila?” Adrien said neutrally, proud of himself for not grinding the words out like he wanted to.

“I’m okay,” she said, sighing. 

Adrien knew the follow-up question. He just didn’t want to ask it. As the makeup artist picked up a brush to stipple blush over his foundation, he steeled himself to address Lila. “Just okay?”

“My _friend_ is being mean to me,” she whined, her gaze flicking to him.

“Seems like he’s not being a very good friend.”

“He isn’t,” Lila said. “But he is usually. I wonder why he’s so upset with me. I clearly haven’t done anything.”

“Maybe somebody hurt his other friend,” Adrien said, “and he’s being protective.” 

Lila raised her brows but let his accusation pass without comment.

Eventually, the makeup artist finished applying his blush, mascara, and guyliner, and released the two teenagers to the photographer. Adrien’s face, caked with makeup, felt heavy, as usual. He hated photoshoots.

Especially with Lila.

Forcing his Model Smile onto his face, he embraced her as the photographer dictated.

“Yes, good! She’s brought you spaghetti!” Vincent said, snapping pictures. “And since you love spaghetti so much, you adore that she’s been thinking of you! Don’t move!”

Speaking around her plastic smile, Lila whispered into his ear. “I have been thinking of you, Adrien.”

“Oh?” Adrien said. He wasn’t going to tell her that he adored that, regardless of what Vincent insisted. 

“And I do care,” she said. 

_No, you don’t._ Adrien’s gaze flicked to the bakery, where the people who had chosen to share their lives with him resided. “That’s kind of you,” he said tonelessly.

Vincent told Adrien to place his hands on Lila’s waist and hold her close. Her cloyingly-sweet perfume stung his nose. At Vincent’s command, Adrien’s hands snaked up her back, pressing her chest against his.

She kissed his cheek. 

“Merveilleuse!” Vincent cried, circling them. Marvelous.

Adrien buried the urge to roll his eyes. He smiled at Lila with a tender expression, when he felt anything but.

Lila smoothed his bangs out of his eyes. They were growing longer at his father’s bidding, because apparently a shaggy look was good for the brand at the moment. Adrien was amused that the longer hair made him look even more like Chat Noir. He knew his father would have his stylist cut them as soon as the winter break was over.

“I just can’t understand why my friend is being so hurtful,” Lila said, nuzzling his temple with her nose; Vincent just about squealed.

“Sounds like a retread of our previous conversation,” Adrien said, barely able to keep the huff out of his voice.

“Is that so bad?” Lila said, sniffling again.

Adrien did roll his eyes. Vincent demanded he stop doing that. Adrien embraced Lila, whispering into her ear. “What do _you_ think? Why _is_ your friend being hurtful?”

Lila gasped. “Are you asking for _my_ thoughts, _Adrien_?”

“Humor me,” Adrien said, his voice lacking any emotion.

A flash of anger filled Lila’s eyes, brief enough that the photographer didn’t see it. “I think he has the wrong impression of me.”

Adrien gave her his most winning smile. “I’m sure that can be corrected,” he said, sounding gentle and kind as he cupped her cheeks in his hands, “if you stop lying.”

“I never lie,” she said, placing a fist on her chest. She looked painfully earnest.

Adrien resisted the urge to shove her away from him as hard as he could. He released her face, and stepped back, tense shoulders aching. “Vincent,” Adrien said tightly. “Can I take a break?”

Vincent blinked over his camera. “Of course, Adrien. You’ve been working really hard.”

 _You have no idea,_ Adrien thought, allowing his sore shoulders to sag. Sparring with Lila exhausted him. “Thanks, Vincent.”

Ignoring Lila’s huff of outrage, Adrien broke away from them without a backward glance, heading to the craft services table. His doctor’s meal plan allowed him an afternoon snack, but he had to stick to vegetables like carrots and sugar snap peas. 

Feeling rebellious, he selected a small snickerdoodle, and stuffed the cinnamon-and-sugar dusted cookie into his mouth. The sugar was strictly verboten on his diet, but after his verbal boxing match with Lila, Adrien needed to recharge. 

He chewed the cookie pensively, not looking over to Vincent and Lila. Adrien found completely purging his anger difficult, but managed to stuff his emotions well enough to return to the shoot.

Thankfully, the rest of his day was his to do as he wished--until M. Ramier was akumatized into M. Pigeon again. Adrien, who had been in the process of buying a protein drink for his New Stash at a drugstore, groaned at the akuma alert on his phone.

He checked the Ladyblog. Alya was already on the scene, filming the base of the Grand Palais hotel, where Mr. Pigeon had staked out his territory--on the roof, as Adrien expected.

Growing more and more annoyed by the minute, Adrien transformed on the way. Chat climbed the building on all fours, giving in to baser instincts. His Lady was already there, surveying the scene with an expression of distaste.

“Coo-coo!” Mr. Pigeon said, flapping his arms, spreading feathers from the birds surrounding him everywhere. “You will never defeat me!” 

“Do I know you?” Chat said, casually placing his baton behind his head and looping his arms around the metal stick. “You look like a pawfully furmiliar purrpatrator.” 

Ladybug rolled her eyes. He couldn’t blame her. His heart wasn’t in this fight either.

“This again, huh?” Chat whispered to her. He sneezed, and wiped his nose with the back of his clawed index finger. _Stupid feathers._

“Apparently,” Ladybug said. She sighed. In a bored tone, she called for her Lucky Charm, not even bothering to throw her yo-yo up into the air.

“Cataclysm,” Chat said, just as bored.

Only two ring chirps later, the superhero duo had handily defeated Mr. Pigeon. Again. 

Chat extended a fist to his Lady. “Pound it?”

She hesitated, looking guilty. Chat’s heart sank. Then she touched her knuckles to his. “Pound it, Chat Noir,” she said, smiling a little. She whipped her yo-yo towards the nearby rooftop with a _ziiing_ and bugged out.

 _That’s a good sign,_ Chat thought. _Maybe she’s not mad at me anymore._

He could only hope.

***

During the second week of the winter break, Chat placed a Destiny Tile, a game piece for Le Donjon, onto his head. He climbed up onto his chair, keeping the tile balanced long enough to pass his Climbing Check. The game required the players to perform silly actions as they progressed through the dungeon. Chat loved it. And he was beyond happy that Monday had arrived, which meant he could spend time with his adoptive family.

Chat and Marinette were back to their usual comradery. He was grateful that she allowed him to play games with her parents again.

He yawned for the third time that evening. Hawkmoth had thrown not one, but two tough akumas late last night, and Chat was exhausted. The fights had taken so long, he didn’t have time to do more than collapse in bed for half an hour before Nathalie woke him up in the morning.

Tom and Sabine cheered him on. "Good job passing the Climbing Check!" Tom said, as Chat climbed down from his chair.

Then Sabine ambushed him with her concern. “I’m worried about you, Chat.”

Game forgotten, he looked up from the dungeon on the colorful board and blinked at her. “Worried? What for?”

“You seem tired,” she said patiently. Tom nodded, and Sabine continued. “You’re going to get sick.”

Chat felt Marinette staring intently at him. Vaguely uncomfortable, he shrugged. “The price of superhero business. I wasn’t able to get much sleep last night because I was fighting akumas until the early morning.”

Sabine’s kind eyes widened. Tom spoke up. “How often does that happen, son?”

 _Son,_ Chat thought, feeling pleasure bubble up in his chest. He recognized that Tom probably didn’t mean anything by the moniker, but allowed himself to pretend, if just for a moment, that he really was a part of the Dupain-Cheng family.

“More often than I’d like,” Chat admitted, feeling sour about everything akuma. “Hawkmoth tends to throw akumas at us at all hours of the day, but he especially prefers 3:30am.”

“That must be hard,” Marinette said. Chat glanced at her. She sounded like she spoke from experience. 

Which was ridiculous.

“You don’t need to worry about me,” Chat said, smiling at the three of them. “I can still do my job.”  
Sabine laid a hand on his shoulder. “Of course we worry, and not about your job. We care for _you_ , Chat.” 

Chat was stunned. He couldn’t possibly fathom their kindness. _Is this what it’s like to be part of a family?_ Tears sprung to his eyes, and he wiped them away with his palm. “I’m touched, Madame Cheng.”

Marinette nodded, a tiny smile tugging at her lips. Sabine rounded on her daughter. “And don’t think that I haven’t noticed _your_ lack of sleep either.” 

Marinette gasped. Her hands shot out in front of her. “W-What do you mean, Maman?” 

All of Chat’s attention focused on Marinette. She hadn’t yawned all night, so he’d missed that she was tired. He looked at her. Really looked at her. She had eyebags again, and her face was drawn and pale. Her beautiful, blue-black hair was a mess, strands sticking out of her pigtails. She seemed exhausted. 

_How did I miss that?_

“What are you doing, Marinette?” Tom asked gently. Chat was glad that question wasn’t directed at him for once. 

Marinette’s shoulders slumped. She crossed one arm over her chest and grasped the opposite elbow. Chat was amazed at how fragile she looked under her parents’ stares. “I was up all night... designing!” Marinette said hastily. “Yeah. Designing."

Sabine patted her daughter’s cheek. “Well, next time, be more aware of the time. You are both growing teenagers, and you need your sleep.”

“Yes, Maman,” Marinette said, at the same time that Chat said, “Yes, Madame Cheng.”

Tom and Sabine smiled warmly at their children--adopted and otherwise. “I think it was your turn, Chat,” Tom said.

Chat glanced to the Destiny Tiles. He had another skill check to perform. “It was. Thank you.”

 _Thank you,_ he thought, sniffling, _for including me. For treating me as part of your family. For… for caring._

Love for the Dupain-Chengs--all three of them--bloomed in his chest. He wanted to tell them all just how grateful he was. But the words wouldn’t come. They stuck in his throat. 

Swallowing thickly, he picked up his Destiny Tiles again. He was going to make the most of his time here if it killed him.

He already looked forward to next Monday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	17. Chapter 17

Adrien, in the middle purchasing a French RCIR army ration box for his New Stash at a military surplus store, frowned down at his pocket. His phone was buzzing with an akuma alert. 

He'd been excited about the rations. Each Ration de Combat Individuelle Rechauffable promised 3200 calories, and from the reviews he’d read online, they probably didn’t taste horrible either. Each box held twelve meals. He’d busted out his emergency stash of cash to afford one of the boxes, and was just about to pass his money over to the clerk.

Then--according to the Ladyblog--Jagged Stone had suffered a bad day and been akumatized into Guitar Villain. Again.

Adrien’s purchase would have to be delayed. 

He apologized to the clerk, left the store, and ducked into an alley to transform. “Plagg, remind me to come back to the surplus store after the fight, won’t you?”

“What am I,” Plagg grumbled, “your Nathalie?”

Adrien laughed. 

The fight against Guitar Villain was annoying, but neither Ladybug nor Chat were injured. He thanked his lucky stars, and reached a fist out to his Lady. “Pound it?”

“Pound it!” she enthusiastically replied. He grinned down at her, and bumped her knuckles again. Her earrings chirped.

“Chat,” she said, looking him over. “I want--”

“Me?” he said, fluttering his eyelashes. “I thought you’d never ask.”

“No,” she grumbled, rolling her eyes. A good sign, he thought. He’d taken a risk flirting with her, but she responded better than he expected.

“I…” she started. “I want to apologize.” She glanced to her feet. “I overreacted. I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”

He beamed at her. His ring chirped. “Already done.”

She smiled back at him and went to comfort Jagged.

***

Chat sat shoulder-to-shoulder with Marinette on her chaise longue, doing his homework on a Thursday night three weeks after her and Ladybug’s reactions to his hoarding. The winter holidays had ended on Sunday, the 23rd of February, and Adrien was glad to be back at school with his friends. On Monday, Nino had given him a customary fistbump, and all was right in Adrien’s world.

Marinette had initially refused to sit with him Thursday night, instead choosing to design at her desk, but as the night wore on, she’d inched closer and closer.

Now she was practically in Chat’s lap, curled up against him, knees to her chest. He was confident that she wasn’t looking over his shoulder at his homework because she was absorbed in a bodice ripper. The front cover sported a Fabio-like model wearing an unlaced peasant-style shirt, gripping a woman with a slit in her green, velvet dress all the way up her leg.

Chat had teased her mercilessly when she sneakily brought out the book.

“What,” he'd said, fluttering his eyelashes and pretending to be wounded, “am I not enough for you?”

She’d hit him in the face with her pillow.

They sat in a companionable silence, save for the occasional moan or sigh from her that curled his toes. As he usually felt around her, he was warm, almost uncomfortably so. Chat figured she didn’t realize the effect those noises were having on him. Then she gasped, and he shivered.

 _I shouldn’t be as affected as I am,_ he thought, glancing at the particularly steamy passage that had her making those sounds. _I have a girlfriend._

Just thinking of Kagami made him tense up, and he didn’t know why. He hunched his shoulders, wishing he could stretch, and turned his head from side to side to try and loosen the tension. He groaned involuntarily as his neck popped.

Marinette was on him in an instant. “What’s wrong?” she said, setting her book in her lap. Her bluebell eyes were filled with concern as they searched his face. 

“Just… sore,” he said, wincing. He didn’t realize how stiff he was, and the thought of stretching grew even more appealing. She seemed to sense his intention, and moved away from him so he could lace his fingers together and extend his arms above his head. 

His back popped this time, and he gasped. Warmth bloomed out from the knot, and he pouted. “I carry all my stress in my shoulders. I guess hunting akumas all the time makes me tense.”

“Chat,” Marinette said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Would you like a backrub?”

That was not what he expected her to say. Heat crawled into his cheeks from his neck. He’d never had a backrub before. When he was really little, his mother used to stroke Adrien’s back and face to put him to sleep, singing _La Mer_.

Chat felt choked up; he didn’t realize how much he missed being touched until he thought of a time when he had been. He wondered if he’d be ticklish now.

Would a backrub from Marinette be so bad? Clearly she wanted to help him with his soreness, because she’d offered to help him, so clearly… 

"A backrub actually sounds like a great idea,” he mused. Marinette was so thoughtful. Chat smiled down at her. “Thanks, Purriness.”

She nodded, and scooted off the chaise longue, getting to her feet. He straightened out on the reclining chair, lying prone. Her hands on his back were hesitant at first. “Are you nervous?” he asked.

“No,” she said, too quickly.

 _Why is she nervous?_ He began to think this was a bad idea. Then she pressed her thumbs into a sore muscle, rubbing in small circles. He tensed, biting back another groan. It felt so _good_.

The delicious pressure stopped. “Is that bad?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head, and regretting the action immediately, as his neck popped again. His voice was rougher than he’d like when he told her, “Keep going. Please.”

He heard her gulp. “Okay.” She started kneading his shoulders, lifting and squeezing the areas she was working on, with her palms in full contact with his supersuit. Her hands were a lot stronger than he thought they would be, given their diminutive size that he’d always been fascinated with.

“This is,” she huffed, “kind of difficult. I’m hunched over.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, you can stop.”

“No, I’ve just started,” she said, and he could feel the wheels turning in her head. She shifted on her feet. To his utter surprise, she stepped onto the chaise longue, straddling him, and sat down on his butt. He nearly choked.

She didn’t say anything, just started compressing the muscles around his spine. She laid one hand flat on his shoulder, pressed the other hand on top of it, and rotated it slowly. He did groan then, his eyelids fluttering. 

She chuckled, and tried yet another technique: anchoring the area she was massaging with one hand, she used the other to deeply press and rub.

Then she transitioned to stroking his neck and back. She kept her fingers together, thumbs parallel and palms resting on his suit, making long and gentle movements. She applied more pressure when stroking towards his heart, and less pressure in the opposite direction.

He melted under her touch. Never before had he felt so comforted. So cared for.

Marinette applied friction to his shoulder caps, stroked his neck, and worked away his knots with her fingertips. He almost fell asleep.

Eventually, too soon for Chat’s liking, she stopped. Sitting back on his thighs, she shook her hands out. “Sorry. My hands are sore.”

“What are you sorry for?” he murmured, still drowsy. Then he realized what she’d said: she’d made her hands sore working on him. He rolled over under her, so she was straddling his hips, and took her fingers into his own. He kissed her knuckles. “I’m the one who should be sorry your hands ache. Thank you, Marinette. That was wonderful.”

She smiled down at him, cheeks lightly dusted with pink. “You’re welcome, Chat.”

He couldn’t leave her hands sore, so he tweaked her fingers, rubbing them between his thumb and index finger. He pressed his thumbs into her palms. He kneaded the webbing between her thumb and palm, and she moaned quietly.

“Thanks, Chat,” she breathed. 

He shivered. “You’re welcome.”

***

Two days after Marinette gave Chat a _wonderful_ backrub, Adrien had plans with Kagami. The weather was getting warmer, or at least not bitterly cold, so she brought outdoor toys: two Nerf guns, with plenty of darts. Adrien realized quite quickly that she was a better shot than he was. After they gathered their darts for a third time, dissolving into giggles, she gave him a wicked smile. 

“I think I’ll give you a thirty-second head start, Adrien,” she said, leaning close enough to overwhelm him with her scent: cloves and patchouli. People had odd reactions to patchouli. They either loved it or hated it. Just like Kagami. People either loved her, or hated her. There was no in between. 

He loved the smell of her, and took a moment to breathe deep. The twin aromas suited her. 

Her eyes glittered. “ _Run._ "

Adrien ran.

Hiding behind a pillar in the courtyard of the Agreste mansion, listening to her count down from thirty, Adrien could barely stifle his laughter. He was sure Kagami had loaded her gun already, and he was so excited, he could barely load his own. 

“Two… One!” she called, and bolted after him. She spotted him, and let loose a fusillade of darts. 

Cackling, he ducked, trying to avoid her skillful shots. He aimed his gun at her on the run, his own shots going wild. When she approached, he turned tail, trying to get away. Getting hit in the butt, he squeaked. 

Out of darts, he did the only sensible thing: he lightly tossed his gun at her. She easily dodged it, which he expected.

He did not expect her to drop her gun and tackle him.

She rolled them to the side so she took the brunt of the landing, but it still knocked the wind out of him. He couldn’t stop chortling, even breathless. 

She pushed him onto his back by his shoulders and straddled his hips. He stopped giggling and blinked up at her, feeling heat rise in his cheeks. Playing with his collar, she leaned down and gave him a searing kiss. 

Adrien responded eagerly, wrapping his arms around her and crushing her chest to his. They still hadn’t tried tongue-kissing again, and he knew he wasn’t ready for that, but just plain-kissing was still fun.

For the second time in as many minutes, Kagami stole his breath. 

Eventually, she drew back, but only slightly. They were still nose-to-nose. “Well,” he said, flashing her his most dazzling, toothy grin, looking more like Chat than ever, “are you concerned?”

She smacked his shoulder playfully. “No.”

“Good,” Adrien said, and drew her back down for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	18. Chapter 18

After a dark and grueling winter, spring had finally sprung. Adrien found he was sneaking out as Chat even during the day, because the sun puddles on the rooftops were too tempting. Now that he was finally getting enough to eat--his father had increased Adrien’s calories again--he was growing exponentially, putting on lean muscle and shooting up in height. And Chat liked zooming around on all fours on the roofs, back and forth, back and forth.

And when there were akumas, well, Chat’s fighting had grown graceful--and vicious. It was like someone flipped a switch in his brain, going from mild-mannered Adrien to wild Chat. He hit harder, ran faster, and Cataclysmed his way through anything Hawkmoth could throw at him and his Lady. 

He officially had Feline Spring Fever.

The only downside to spring was that the spring holidays started on the 4th of March, last Wednesday, and wouldn’t be done until the 19th. Before he left school, Adrien allowed himself to complain to Nino that the winter break had just ended, and now they had to miss each other over spring holidays? It was markedly unfair.

But now that the sun had come out, even photoshoots with Lila couldn’t ruin Adrien’s mood.  
Chat stretched, luxuriating in his sun puddle on top of the school on a lazy Saturday afternoon. He’d run across the roof until his muscles burned in a good way, getting the exercise his body craved.

Hawkmoth seemed to be taking a breather, and Chat and Ladybug hadn’t faced an akuma in three days. He felt the tension in his city, people waiting for the supervillain to make his move, but since the glorious, glorious sun was out, Chat couldn’t make himself care. Being stuck inside was awful; he pined for the outdoors.

Warm out in the sun on the roof, his breathing slowed as he purred. He curled up like a cat, tucking his knees under his chin and lying on his folded arms. _A little nap couldn’t hurt…_

He awoke a little while later to being nudged by a foot. A red, black-spotted foot. 

Chat yowled and rolled over. The foot nudged him again, this time in the back.

“Chat,” his Lady said, laughing. 

“What?” he grumped, licking his wrist and smearing the spit into his hair.

“That’s disgusting,” she chided. Then she followed with a non sequitur: “I have a present for you.”

His feline ears perked up at that. He turned his head to her, momentarily blinded by the sun behind her head. His breath caught in his throat. She sparkled in the sunlight, smiling sweetly, her eyes full of love. Admiration for her burned in the back of his brain. 

He realized then that he’d never stopped loving her. He had just put that aside for a while.

His and Kagami’s relationship had stalled at tongue-kissing. They had tried again, and he found it just as weird as the first time. She was clearly much more experienced and confident, but chose to wait, to gently guide him through what she thought he should know. He’d gotten better at kissing--or at least he thought so. As physical as she was, Kagami didn’t exactly give him verbal pointers or praise.

He would have been too embarrassed anyway. Just like the time Nathalie had walked in on them.

Adrien still loved Kagami.

But Chat--and Adrien--still loved Ladybug. She understood Salad. She _was_ Salad.

She could love all of him. Chat burned for that, deep in his soul.

Loving her and loving Kagami was a conundrum. And like any good conundrum, Chat felt he needed to pull on the loose thread until the puzzle unraveled.

Ladybug brought the hand she’d been holding behind her back to the front. She was holding a giant ball of day-glow green yarn.

Chat hissed playfully. “Devil woman,” he growled, swiping a claw at the dangling end of the ball. She jerked it just out of his reach. “Why must you tempt me so?”

She giggled. “Fetch.” She threw the ball. Chat’s dilated eyes tracked the yarn as it bounced once, twice, three times, and finally stilled. Butt wiggling, he pounced on his prey, intent on tearing it to shreds. To his surprise, his claws snagged on the fibers. He tried to pull his hands away, but ended up tangled in the traitorous yarn. 

Ladybug laughed and laughed and laughed. It started out as clear and beautiful as a ringing bell, but as he threw his whole body into the yarn and ended up with some wrapped around his head and ankles, her laughter became a snorting, snot-filled cackle. It sure was an ugly thing, he thought, inordinately pleased with himself. 

Apparently taking pity on him, she knelt by his supine, exhausted form, and gently took one of his clawed hands into hers. Pressing on his knuckles, she coaxed him to spread his fingers. Plucking the tangled fibers away from his claws, she started to unweave the web he’d wrapped himself into. He shivered at her touch. 

_I could have ruined this,_ he thought, smiling dreamily at her. She still sparkled.

“You really got yourself tangled, Kitty,” she said, chuckling. 

“Like I said: devil woman.”

She laughed again. Untangling him took the better part of ten minutes, and he helped her wind up the ball, brutally stuffing the temptation to beg her to throw it again. He was above begging, he thought.

The day couldn’t even be ruined by an akuma later on. Despite enjoying the present Ladybug had given him, Chat was spoiling for a fight. He slammed his baton into the akumatized victim’s head while they talked to Hawkmoth, forgetting for a moment that there was indeed a victim in there. He yearned to push his limits, to see how much damage he could deal out. 

More than anything, he wanted his adult powers to manifest. Having to recharge his kwami after one Cataclysm was annoying.

He held a fist out to Ladybug. “Pound it!”

“Chat,” she said, watching him warily. “Don’t you think you’re too into this?”

He lowered his fist. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean… You seemed to really enjoy the fight. Don’t you think that’s strange?”

He rubbed the back of his head with a clawed hand, a habit he’d picked up as Adrien. “I think it’s just the spring. Feline instincts.”

“Don’t let Plagg rub off too much on you.” Her earrings chirped, and she bugged out, leaving Chat wondering exactly what she meant.

***

Chat was pleased with his relationship with Ladybug. And with Kagami. Even his relationship with Marinette was progressing nicely. On the Monday following the spring break, after playing a board game with the Dupain-Cheng family, he sat shoulder-to-shoulder with her on her chaise longue. He was quizzing her in preparation for Tuesday’s math test. When she groaned in exasperation, he laughed.

“I’m never gonna get this right!” she said, throwing her hands in the air.

“You’ll get it,” he said, patting her on the shoulder. “You’re really smart, Mari.”

“Not with math,” she said, sticking her pencil in between her beautiful, pink lips. Subconsciously, Chat wished he could be that pencil.

“You’ll be fine,” Chat said, giving her his trademark Chat grin.

“Well, don’t you just look like the cat that caught the canary?” she said, huffing. 

He couldn’t take it anymore. She was too cute. He reached out with a clawed hand and tickled her side. He’d been practicing touching things with the pads of his fingers as opposed to his claws, so he could tickle people--Marinette--as Chat without harming them. 

She squealed and slapped his hand, laughing. Encouraged, Chat pounced. He wrapped his arms around her waist and tickled her mercilessly, holding her down when she giggled and tried to wiggle away. When she was breathless, he stopped, only to rub his head all over her face and shoulders. 

He didn’t realize that he was essentially straddling her, pinning her down, until it was too late. And then he found he didn’t exactly mind. 

Neither, it seemed, did she.

She buried her hands in his blond mane, scratching just behind his feline ears. He melted under her touch. A loud purr rose from his chest, and he nuzzled her neck. He nipped her ear, and she gasped. Looking up, he saw her bluebell eyes were dilated, and her neck and face were flushed. His own cheeks were warm, but pleasantly so.

Chat gave her the laziest, smuggest smile he could. He slowly blinked at her. 

Marinette seemed to snap out of whatever reverie she was in. “This is totally unfair,” she said, squirming under him, which only made him want to hold onto her tighter. “I’m stuck! You’re heavy!”

“Is that such a bad thing?” he purred.

“Chat,” Marinette gasped. “Get off.”

He released her immediately, detangling himself from her and leaning back on his haunches. She seemed short of breath. “Are you okay?” he asked, concerned. She waved him off, unable to meet his eye. _Did I… Did I embarrass her?_

“Chat,” she said, burying her face in her hands, “what are we doing?”

“I don’t follow,” he said, and her blown gaze snapped to him.

“You don’t see it? We’re acting like we’re dating.”

“I have a girlfriend,” he blurted out. 

“You… do?” she said, eyes widening. She seemed surprised.

“Sorry, Marinette,” he mumbled, rubbing his cheek. “I’ll… I’ll just go.”

“That might be wise,” she said, folding her arms across her chest.

He didn’t want to leave. What they were doing didn’t really feel like dating to him. Dating meant cards and kissing in the courtyard and fencing. All he and Marinette were doing was homework.

Clearing his throat, he stepped off her chaise longue and crossed to her desk. He plucked up a croissant to go, and vaulted out into the night.

 _What am I doing?_ he wondered, sailing over the rooftops of Paris in the chilly spring evening. He could see his breath leaving him as a condensed, white cloud. _Marinette and I are just friends. Friends tickle each other._

_Don’t they?_

He realized then that he didn’t know what friends did. He knew hanging out with Nino was fun, but this was different. And Chloe was Chloe. He hardly considered her a girl.

He clearly had no idea what an appropriate relationship between a boy and a girl was like when they were close, but not dating. His lack of experience with friendships made this relationship with Marinette uncharted territory.

 _Was_ he doing something inappropriate?

As he landed on the roof across from the Agreste mansion, surprised that he’d gotten there without remembering how, he recalled Luka tickling Marinette. 

Chat replaced his baton at the small of his back. He paced on the roof. _Luka tickled Marinette. I tickled Marinette. They’re boyfriend and girlfriend. But we’re just friends._

 _Aren’t we?_

Even as Chat thought that, he knew he was wrong. He hung his head. He had pushed this relationship too far. They were encroaching upon dangerous territory, maybe already camping in the middle of it. He rubbed at his hot cheeks, careful not to scratch himself with his claws. 

_We’re still just friends,_ he thought doggedly.

But he realized he wasn’t being a very good friend. Or boyfriend. _Kagami deserves better. Should I tell her what happened?_

He decided against it. For one, he didn’t want to hurt her. For two, he reasoned this was a one-time indiscretion. Vaulting through his window, he called, “Plagg, claws in.”

The kwami opened his mouth to say something, but Adrien held up a hand. “I don’t want to talk about it, Plagg.”

“Fine,” Plagg grumped, and went to find his cheese.

Adrien collapsed in his bed, suddenly feeling exhausted. His mind was spinning. 

_Am I a cheater?_

He tossed and turned. Adrien didn’t think he was capable of loving three women, much less cheating on one of them. But the facts were clear: he was absolute scum. 

Finally, after an exhausting akuma at 3:41am where Ladybug couldn’t meet his eye for some reason, he returned to his bed and conked out. 

Adrien dreamed of dilated bluebell eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	19. Chapter 19

The day after tickling Marinette, Adrien had afternoon plans with Kagami--which he’d completely forgotten about until Nathalie reminded him in the morning. 

For the first time, he was dreading hanging out with his girlfriend. 

First, they had fencing practice together. Adrien was, of course, partnered with Kagami. Unable to concentrate--he kept imagining other ladies in red and pink--his performance was abysmal. Kagami gave him no mercy. She repeatedly tagged him, thrusting the tip of her sabre into his padded fencing suit with a viciousness he was shocked by. His exhaustion didn’t help his ability to parry.

At one point, while he was recovering from a barrage of blows, she opened her helmet and snapped at him to get his head in the game.

Now he knelt on the floor across from her in his room, eyes glazed over as he stared at his cards. She hadn’t said more than one-word sentences to him since fencing practice. He stole a glance at her, and noticed her mouth opening.

_Here it comes…_

“I’m concerned,” she said, without preamble. 

_And there it is._

“I know,” Adrien said, selecting a card at random and laying it on the floor in the circular pig’s tail. He normally liked this game, and he was losing miserably; why couldn’t he concentrate?

Kagami huffed. She dropped her cards and plucked his out of his hand. She scooted closer to him, placing one hand on the floor and the other on his knuckles. 

“Something is distracting you, Adrien,” she said, the corners of her mouth subtly drawn down. 

“Hahaha, what? Distracting me--”

“Distractions are dangerous,” she said, searching his eyes. “Especially with… Salad.”

“Kagami,” he breathed, worry clenching his heart, “do you know what Salad is?”

Her eyes flicked away, for just a second, and then came back to his. “No. But I do know that it’s dangerous for you to be distracted.” She cupped his cheek. “For many reasons.”

Adrien stared at her. He swallowed, and found his throat was dry. Her hand on his face was comfortably cool, which was good because he felt incredibly hot. Sweat started beading on his upper lip. 

His gaze jerked to her lips.

 _Would kissing her help? Is that appropriate?_ The thoughts were tinged with desperation. Slowly, he came to the realization that kissing Kagami would probably make it worse.

Besides, he didn’t really want to kiss Kagami right now, anyway.

As he realized that, his eyes widened. Guilt washed over him. His relationship with Kagami was slipping like sand through his fingers. He knew then that he was in deep.

She was still staring at him. He looked away again. _This isn’t her fault. I’m hurting her._ He had to fix this.

“It’s… It’s kind of stuffy in here,” he said, swallowing again. “Let’s go out. We could, uh, get ice cream! Yeah. We could go. Get ice cream.”

Her subtle frown became slightly less subtle. She blew air through her nose. “I don’t really feel like getting ice cream, but if that’s what you want, I wouldn’t mind.”

Adrien took her free hand and kissed her knuckles. “Let’s go. Maybe you’ll feel better once we’ve found Andre.”

Tracking Andre down was surprisingly difficult. Adrien had the app, of course (Kagami didn’t), but the riddle was especially difficult to divine this time. By the time they found him on the Pont des Arts bridge, the sun was setting, casting an orange glow over the Seine. 

The Parisian government had recently removed all of the love locks from the bridge, citing vandalism and structural concerns. Adrien was a little sad he’d never fastened a lock with a sentimental message to the Pont des Arts. He wondered who he would have done that with.

Andre spotted the two of them and smiled broadly. “Ah, dear Adrien and lovely Kagami! Welcome, welcome!” Andre spun his ice cream scoop between his fingers, and started scooping out two flavors. “Blackberry and peppermint, a blend--” 

“No!” Adrien said quickly. “I want…”

What _was_ the combination Andre had made for him and Kagami? Adrien couldn’t remember. He knew he was peppermint. But what was she? 

Kagami was staring at the bridge. He thought he could smell tears, but there weren’t any in her eyes that he could see. 

“Ah!” Andre said, looking between the two of them. “Of course, I was mistaken. Please forgive me.” He began scooping up a new ice cream. “Orange and peppermint! Voila! Enjoy, lovebirds!”

The ice cream tasted like ash.

***

The day after his and Kagami’s disastrous ice cream trip, Adrien had to go to school… And face Marinette. He chose not to. He avoided her all day, shutting down her inquiries about his health and feelings with one-word sentences. She was clearly perturbed, possibly hurt, but he didn’t have the space in his head to process the fact that he’d hurt her, too.

Nino took him aside and asked if he was okay, concern shining in his friend’s eyes, but Adrien waved him off.

That night, Adrien lay face down on his bed, soaking his pillow with tears. Plagg patted him on the back of his head, startling him. 

“Kid….” Plagg started, and trailed off.

“I hurt Kagami, Plagg,” Adrien said weakly. “I keep hurting the people I care about.”

“At least you’re not having a panic attack about it,” the kwami said, in a tone Adrien thought was meant to be consoling. 

“That’s true,” Adrien said, wondering what made this time different. “Oh, Plagg, what am I gonna do? This is a catastrophe.”

Plagg smiled. “I’m glad you’re feeling better enough to make cat puns.”

Adrien sighed. He hadn’t even realized he’d made a pun. That brought a fresh wave of tears, and he returned to his pillow.

Feeling as rotten as a cavity, he called patrol off so he could stew in his misery. By the time his tears slowed, he felt almost completely spent. _I hate crying,_ he thought, sitting up and scrubbing palms over his face. His eyes ached, and he had a curious pressure in his chest which refused to abate. He sniffed.

Then a noise caught his attention: a tap of a finger on glass. Startled once again, he looked at his window, only to see--“Ladybug?” he said, hopping out of bed. He hurried to the window and opened it to let his red-clad beauty into his room. “What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”

After tumbling onto the floor and landing in a crouch, she stood and smiled at him. “Hi, Adrien. Yes, everything is fine.” As she wound her yo-yo around her waist one-handed, he noticed she was holding a small, pink bag. The mystery of why she was here and what she could have brought him triggered his feline instincts; he had to use every ounce of willpower in his body to keep from snatching the bag. 

Vibrating in place, Adrien watched her continue to smile at him. “Here,” she said, holding the bag out. “This is for you. It’s a… delivery from your fan club in Brazil again. They asked me to buy it for you here, so I did.”

Adrien’s fingers brushed hers as he took the bag, sending an illicit thrill of pleasure through him. Heat grew on his cheeks; he hoped she didn’t notice. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. 

“Thank you,” he said, tempted to tear the package asunder. Exercising a remarkable amount of self-control, he slid a finger under the yellow sticker holding the bag shut and opened it. He gasped as he looked inside. “Chocolates?”

“Coffee-flavored chocolates, yeah. I mean, I hope you like coffee--it’s not like I would know that you like coffee, hahaha,” Ladybug said, redness flaring on her cheeks as well. 

Adrien was confused. _Should she… be reacting to me this way?_

“Thank you,” he said warmly, and plucked a chocolate out of the bag. He placed the sweet on his tongue. 

The flavors didn’t explode in his mouth like they would if he were Chat, but they were still amazing. The bitter coffee paired perfectly with the saccharine candy. He almost moaned. 

_This… This is exactly what I need to feel better._

He offered her a chocolate, which she took. She popped the treat into her mouth and chewed. 

She moaned, just like he wanted to. He swallowed thickly for a third time that night, accidentally making the chocolate slide down his throat before he was ready.

“I haven’t had chocolate in too long,” she explained, seemingly unaware of her effect on him. “And I’ve never had coffee-flavored candy before. I love coffee.”

He knew that. Of course he did. She always smelled like coffee to Chat. He wondered when she’d started drinking it for real.

She inched closer to him, looking expectant. This close to her, he could smell the coffee-chocolate treat on her breath, even as Adrien. He licked his lips. He didn’t know what she wanted, so he gave her another chocolate. She moaned again.

Adrien felt uncomfortably hot again. He’d been feeling that a lot lately.

“Anyway, I hope you feel better,” she said carefully. He didn’t know why she was being careful. “I… I heard you crying, and I wanted to check on you.”

 _Ladybug cares about me. As Adrien!_ He flashed her a genuine smile. “I’m better now,” he answered honestly. “Because you’re here.”

Her gentle smile melted his heart. Then she leaned forward to kiss his cheek. On instinct, he turned his head just at the last second, so their lips brushed; he felt her intake of breath on his face.

To his utter shock, after pulling back slightly, she surged forward and captured his lips in hers. She cupped his cheeks and tugged him forward, pressing the two of them together. 

Fireworks went off in his brain. He dropped the bag of chocolates at their feet with a papery thump. He eagerly responded, tilting his head and bringing his hands up to her slim shoulders. She peppered his lips with small kisses, pulling back only briefly only to lunge forward again. 

Lightning shot through Adrien’s body at her touch. She was making all his teenage fantasies come true. 

Her taste--coffee, chocolate, subtle notes of vanilla--was as amazing as he always knew it would be.  
Just as he was out of breath, she pulled back, resting her forehead on his. He wanted to mewl, to ask her to keep going, but he was too lost in her beautiful, bluebell eyes. Which, he noted with no small amount of pleasure, were dilated.

He leaned forward for another kiss, but she released his neck and jerked back. He blinked at her.

“W-What just happened?” she whispered. Then she shrieked, hurting his ears, “We can’t be doing this!”

He knew then that she was right. He had a _girlfriend_. Adrien had betrayed his girlfriend. He couldn’t bear to think of her name. The shame was like ice water to his burning brain.

Ladybug turned away from him, holding the top of her head. “I have a boyfriend!”

 _No._ Adrien felt his heart shatter all over again. “You… do?” he said, and she jerked again, whipping her head around to look at him. 

He knew he had to tell her he had a girlfriend. He knew it. He just didn’t want to. Swallowing thickly, he forced the words out. “I have a girlfriend.”

Ladybug turned back to him, gripping his shoulder too tightly. He winced; she’d apparently forgotten she had super strength, and the grip _hurt_. 

“I won’t tell if you won’t,” Ladybug said hurriedly, desperation lacing her eyes. He hated himself for being the source of that desperation. Unlike the previous times someone had said those words to him, they were anything but kind.

Adrien straightened his spine. “No, Ladybug,” he said, with more conviction than he felt. “We _have_ to tell them. We’d be cowards if we didn’t.”

She flinched, and then looked away. “Of… Of course. I should go.”

“That would be wise,” he said, echoing Marinette’s words to Chat.

She turned to the window, unspooling her yo-yo. “I’m… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

He wanted to tell her that that kiss was something he’d never regret--but he did regret it. That part was definitely not one of his fantasies.

She sniffed, and he was alarmed to see tears gathering in her eyes. Before he could say something, she threw her yo-yo at the nearby rooftops with a _ziiip_ and bugged out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	20. Chapter 20

Despite his brave words to Ladybug, Adrien didn’t want to tell Kagami about his superhero kiss. At all. He was worried he might hurt her enough to be susceptible to an akuma. But he knew he must. Lying to her was out of the question, even lies by omission.

In class on Thursday, during the morning break, Nino laid a hand on his shoulder. “You okay, Dude?” 

“I’m fine,” Adrien said weakly. Marinette wasn't at school today. Neither was Alya. The boys were on their own.

Nino gave him a skeptical look. “You don’t look fine.”

Adrien sighed. “I made a mistake. I kissed someone else. And now I have to tell Kagami.”

Nino’s brows rose. “Was it Marinette?”

“No!” Adrien said, too quickly. He looked into his friend’s concerned eyes, but couldn’t hold his gaze. He stared at their desk. “It… It was someone else.” 

Salad, Adrien thought, feeling depression lick at his heels.

Nino frowned. “I don’t mean to lecture you, Adrien, but that is a seriously crappy thing to do to your girlfriend.”

“I agree,” Adrien said, burying his face in his hands. “Believe me, I know I’m scum. I didn’t mean to hurt her. Things just… spiraled out of control.”

_And not just with Ladybug._

“You have to tell Kagami what happened.”

“I know.”

Nino wrapped an arm around Adrien’s shoulders. “Well, I got your back, bro. After she’s done ripping your throat out, come to me and we’ll patch you up.”

Adrien smiled weakly. “Thanks, Nino.” 

Bolstered by Nino, Adrien prepared to tell Kagami. But when he saw her at fencing practice, his heart turned to water in his chest. She was already annoyed with him for his perfunctory performance--even after she’d told him not to be distracted before--and he didn’t want her to be truly angry with him, like he knew she would be.

Sitting on the floor of his room with her near their traditional circle of cards, playing Buta no shippo--a tradition Adrien was loath to give up--he knew he would be ambushing her. But the words wouldn’t come.

“I’m concerned,” she said, without preamble again, setting her cards aside. 

“I know.”

“You’re _still_ distracted,” she said, inching closer to him. “This is unlike you, Adrien.”

Her sharp-eyed gaze was totally focused on him. Adrien couldn’t meet her eyes.

Preparing to take the plunge, Adrien licked his lips. “I have something to tell you.” His voice cracked. “I’m in love with someone else.”

Kagami drew back. “Who?”

“It’s a Salad thing,” he blurted out, trying to keep the lie by omission going.

To his horror, Kagami exploded. “I am so _sick_ of Salad!” She shoved his shoulder back, a little roughly. He let her, moving with her. 

“Kagami, I’m sorry--” he started, and then stopped. He had to tell her. Dragging it out would only hurt her more. “I… I’m in love with Ladybug.”

Kagami sat back with a calculating gaze. “I knew _that_ , Adrien.”

“She kissed me.”

Kagami looked thrown. “Did… Did you kiss back?” she asked hesitantly. Kagami never hesitated. He hated himself for being the source of her lack of confidence.

Adrien hung his head, golden bangs falling into his eyes. He couldn’t even look at her as he plunged the dagger in. “Yes.”

She didn’t say anything for a long, long while. When he finally looked up, her nostrils flared. “You’re in _love_ with Ladybug,” she said, sounding almost awed. 

“Yes.”

“And she might be in love with you.”

Adrien considered the possibility for the first time. Was Ladybug in love with him? She kissed him, so that meant she felt _something_ for him, but was it truly love? She had her own set of Salad, he knew. Not for the first time, he wondered who her civilian identity was, and whether she’d tell him, and if he could get to know her inside and out of the mask...

Kagami interrupted his thoughts. “And?” 

That was not what he expected her to say. “Pardon?” 

“And who else?” she said, and his heart started rattling around in his ribcage.

“Who else?”

“Who else are you in love with?” Kagami demanded, eyes blazing.

“I don’t know what you mean--”

“Cut the act, Adrien,” Kagami said, whipping her hand in front of her in a gesture as sharp as she was. “It’s Marinette, isn’t it?”

Adrien was floored. He wasn’t in love with Marinette. They were just friends! Weren’t they? They spent a lot of time together, sure, but that didn’t make them more than friends. They’d been nothing but appropriate with each other--

He knew that was a lie as soon as he thought it. They’d been inappropriate for a while. He thought about the backrub, the stolen cheek kisses, the tickling. He thought about how her laugh made his heart sing and how he wanted nothing more than to spend time with her. He remembered the time she fell asleep on him and how uncomfortably warm he felt. 

He felt uncomfortably warm now.

Marinette’s voice came back to haunt him: “You don’t see it? We’re acting like we’re dating.”

Adrien almost gasped. The facts were clear: he loved Marinette. He loved her, with all of his heart, mind, and soul; everything in him screamed that he loved her. Andre’s initial ice cream flub made sense now.

What was also clear was that he was scum.

Kagami scoffed, drawing his attention back to her. “You can’t even admit it, can you?” she said, a verbal slap.

He sniffled. “No.”

Kagami went for the jugular. “Does Marinette know about Salad?”

“No!” he said immediately, waving his hands. “Marinette doesn’t even know there _is_ Salad. You’re the only one who does.” 

Kagami relaxed at that. A little. She was still stiff, still raw around the edges. To his horror, her eyes began to glisten with tears.

“Your indecision,” she choked out, “is _hurtful,_ Adrien.”

Looking at the girl in front of him vibrating with raw emotion, Adrien began to cry.

She exhaled slowly. “I think we should break up.”

Kagami’s words weren’t a surprise, but they still stabbed him right through the heart. His first relationship was a failure. And he’d hurt Kagami, had cut her deeply. The very last thing he wanted to do.  
It wasn’t fair to her that he loved another woman. Two. He realized with growing horror that he’d been doing that the whole time he and Kagami were dating, with Ladybug.

“Yes. We should break up,” he said, feeling a stone in his chest where his heart should be. “Are you going to be okay?”

Kagami rallied at that. “Not for a while,” she admitted, “but eventually.”

He was relieved at her strength. He didn’t have to worry about her akumatization; she was clearly made of sterner stuff than he’d thought. 

She laid out some ground rules: he was not to approach her until she indicated that she’d started to get over him. He was not to be partnered with her in fencing until at least that long. He was not to pursue a relationship with Marinette or Ladybug until at least two weeks had passed, for the sake of optics. 

Adrien easily agreed to her terms, marveling at how professional Kagami was about the break up. She didn’t even shed a tear, though he did. Clearly she’d had experience with broken hearts, which only made him more upset once he thought about it.

After she was done speaking, she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. 

“This is so unfair to you,” Adrien said. He was wrong earlier: _this_ was the most miserable he’d ever felt in his life.

“Yes,” Kagami said, her eyes turning flinty. “But you weren’t concerned about what was fair, were you?”

Adrien clutched his aching chest. “No. I’m sorry.”

“I know you are. And I know you will be for a while.”

“I will be.”

Kagami smiled thinly at him. “You’d better be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	21. Chapter 21

The two weeks following his break up with Kagami were the longest of Adrien’s life. 

He felt by turns enthusiastic to try to start a relationship with Marinette, and ashamed of his enthusiasm. She was still dating Luka. And he knew that he’d hurt Kagami. She hadn’t made him feel bad, though she was clearly well within her rights.

But Adrien was still enthused. 

Clearly, he was scum. By the end of the two weeks, he’d half-convinced himself that he didn’t deserve a person as kind as Marinette. He definitely didn’t deserve Kagami, and she didn’t even have to say the words. 

He didn’t even deserve her forgiveness. Adrien knew that, deep in his soul. That fact was indisputable. 

The circle of cards was still one the floor of his room, a throbbing reminder of what he’d ruined with his ex-girlfriend. His ex. Recognizing that his first relationship had crashed and burned was so painful. Thinking he needed the reminder of how he’d hurt her, he couldn’t bear to clean the game up. Not until he was allowed to approach her again.

Nino had made good on his promise, distracting Adrien with video games whenever he could. 

“That’s harsh,” Nino had said, patting Adrien on the shoulder before they began their first game of Friday afternoon. 

“She was just as harsh as she needed to be,” Adrien said, sighing.

“Talk about a wakeup call, though,” Nino said. Then he smiled cheekily. “I knew you had a thing for Marinette.”

Adrien groaned, burying his head in his hands. “What do I do, Nino?”

“You back off, my dude. She’s still dating Luka, and until the perfect couple breaks up, you can’t go creepin’ on his girl.”

“You’re right,” Adrien said, moping, and knowing he shouldn’t. “I’m happy for Luka. I really am. But I’m also a tiny bit jealous.”

Nino laughed. “A tiny bit?”

“Okay, a lot jealous,” Adrien said, cheeks warming as Nino laughed again.

“Trust me, Dude, back off.”

“I will.”

Even Chloe had tried to cheer Adrien up. Tried being the key word. She wasn’t exactly the most comforting person, Chloe.

But what shocked Adrien now, at the end of the longest weeks of his life, was how Marinette’s relationship to Luka had changed. Sitting across from them at snack time on the Liberty on Saturday, Adrien watched, by turns horrified and fascinated, as Luka kept leaning away from her. They both reached for a croissant; their hands brushed, and they both flinched. 

Luka had a frown almost as subtle as Kagami’s. The reminder hurt, as it was intended to.

Luka was even frosty with Adrien, which he didn’t understand. Luka looked ready to confront him about something, but apparently decided against it. Marientte couldn’t meet Adrien’s eye, either, which confused him even further.

“Is everything okay?” Rose asked the testy boyfriend and skittish girlfriend, as Luka adjusted the shoulder strap on his guitar. The group had moved out of the galley and were preparing to practice their music. 

Luka and Marinette both answered, her frantic, him stiffly: “Everything’s fine!”

The sounds that Kitty Section produced that day were the worst Adrien had ever heard from them. Rose screamed, Ivan drummed, and Luka kept messing up chords. At one point he even played a long, disharmonious set of chords that hurt Adrien’s ears. Adrien couldn’t help but think that that was deliberate.

After a few more failed attempts to play as usual, Luka let out a small cry of frustration. He took his hands off his guitar and pressed his fingers to his temples. 

_Whoa,_ Adrien thought. _He’s usually so mellow. What happened?_ Adrien figured it must be something horrible. He wondered, illogically, if he was to blame.

“Marinette,” Luka said, staring at his feet. Adrien thought he could smell tears. “We have to talk.”

Marinette reared back, but then drew close to Luka. She gulped. Then she nodded.

Rose and Juleka glanced at each other. Ivan looked as confused as Adrien felt. His heart broke for both Luka and Marinette. He wondered if their relationship would survive this bump in the road.

Marinette followed Luka into the galley, leaving behind an atmosphere of awkward concern in her wake. Adrien strained his ears to hear their conversation, but true to form, Luka didn’t yell at her. He just talked.

Rose coughed. “I hope they’re okay.”

“Me, too,” Adrien said, despondently resting his fingers on the keyboard in front of him.

After time stretched out like taffy, the fateful conversation was over. Marinette burst through the doorway to the galley, sobbing. Her eyes darted to Adrien and fixed on him. Her pain seared his heart. The primal desire to go to her, to comfort her, roared to life in his brain. Out of respect for Luka, who followed Marinette with a despairing expression, Adrien checked himself.

Marinette let out a choked-off cry, and fled the boat.

Luka stood by Adrien, fists clenched. “It’s over.”

_It’s over._

“Will you be okay?” Adrien asked, and Luka nodded firmly. It looked like moving his head was difficult for him.

Adrien stared at the path Marinette had taken. “Will she?” 

“You’d know better than me,” Luka snapped, startling Adrien. The guitarist stomped off to the galley, slamming the door behind him.

“W-What?” Adrien stammered, after Luka’s angry retreat.

_It’s over._

Luka and Marinette’s relationship had shattered before Adrien’s eyes, and for some reason, he felt like _he_ was the cause.

***

On the night of Marinette and Luka’s very messy, very public break up, patrol was distinctly uncomfortable. After arriving on the fated rooftop, Chat instantly smelled salt. Ladybug’s eyes looked red and puffy under her mask. She wasn’t crying now, but it was clear she had been before he’d made his appearance. 

“Ladybug?” Chat said, dropping his baton on the roof with a clatter. He opened his arms, expecting her to fall into them.

That was not what she did.

She stood apart from him. Apart, and seemingly attempting to be aloof. Chat racked his brain to figure out what he’d done to make her so standoffish, and couldn’t come up with anything.

His head began to throb as he felt the pressure of tears behind his eyes.

“Ladybug,” he croaked, “what did I do?”

“It’s not... you,” she said, and relief flooded his system. “It’s me.”

“What happened?” This was a puzzle, and like any puzzle, Chat desperately wanted to solve it.

She couldn’t meet his eyes. Tears filled hers. Her lower lip quivered. She crossed one arm over her body, grasping the other elbow. Chat gasped. Ladybug looked so _fragile_. 

For the first time in a long while, he was scared.

His palms itched. His desire to nuzzle her temple with his nose and rub his face all over her, purring, was overwhelming. She needed comfort, but he knew she didn’t want comfort from _him_. 

That stung.

Staring into the middle distance, she spoke. Her voice sounded weak in his ears. “I’ll get over it.”  
Chat’s heart twisted in his chest. Fat droplets leaked from his eyes. He couldn’t help crying for her. She was hurt so _bad_ , practically trembling with pain before him, he didn’t know how she’d ever recover.

But recover, she did. Or seemed to. She released her elbow and straightened her shoulders. “Chat Noir,” she said sharply, and he stood at attention. All of his focus was on her. “Chat. I’ll get over it.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll get over it.”

“Okay,” he said again, wondering why she repeated herself.

“I’ll get over it.”

“Okay!” he yelled, his voice gravelly and rough. She flinched, and he drew back. “I’m… I’m sorry, Ladybug. I’m just worried.”

Ladybug sighed. “I know, Kitty.” She reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “But I’ll be fine.”  


“When?”

“Not now. Eventually.”

“Okay,” he said again, feeling as if he’d broken on her behalf.

Luka’s words came back to him for some unfathomable reason: “It’s over.”

_It’s over._

“Ladybug,” Chat said, placing his hand over hers, still on his shoulder, “I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but I care for you. I don’t want you to hurt. I… I love you, Ladybug.”

She rewarded him with a teary smile. “I know.”

He didn’t think his words were enough. Feeling woefully inadequate, Chat approached her and kissed her on the cheek. He rested his forehead against hers and stared deep into her bluebell eyes. “I love you.”

“I know.”

She didn’t say she loved him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	22. Chapter 22

Monday couldn’t come fast enough. Chat yearned to comfort Marinette. That would be one thing he could get right. From his break up with Kagami, to his confusing interaction with Luka, to his inability to comfort Ladybug, Chat had been doing a lot wrong lately.

To his relief, Monday eventually arrived. The catboy superhero called off patrol Monday night so he could be free to spend time with Marinette. He knew Ladybug could use the break, anyway.

To her credit, Ladybug had been a trooper. She showed up for patrol every night after that first one, not saying much, but getting the job done. She was a consummate professional, and Chat admired her all the more for it. He knew that if he was hurting as bad as she was, he’d be useless. She continued not allowing him to comfort her, which broke his heart.

She told him she’d get over it, whatever it was. He hoped she would, and soon.

Monday night, earlier than he usually came to Marinette’s, Chat landed on the bakery’s roof with a thump, inhaling the heady scent of freshly-baked bread. 

He waited to be invited. She didn’t open the skylight immediately, like he was so used to. Curious, he slid down the chimney onto her balcony, and reached for the skylight. 

“Girl!” Alya’s voice drifted up, and Chat peeked through the glass to see Marinette’s friend stomping around the room, holding a half-eaten pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream. “I’m telling you, one ruined relationship doesn’t make you scum.”

“It does,” Marinette responded, through tears, “when I’m the one that ruined it.”

Chat couldn’t see her clearly, only the top of her head. He pressed his face to the glass. Alya was waving her spoon at her friend. “You didn’t--” Alya started, but Marinette interrupted with a voice so weak, Chat had to strain his feline ears to hear: “Alya, you can't tell anyone that I kissed Adrien. Especially not...”

_I kissed Adrien._

_I kissed Adrien._

_I kissed Adrien._

Chat missed Alya’s next words as he tried to puzzle out Marinette’s. After trying to recall when, exactly, she’d kissed him and coming up stumped, he frowned. 

_When?_ he wondered, rubbing his chilled cheeks. He prowled around the balcony on all fours, growing more and more irritated with his inability to solve the paradox. 

_Could she be lying?_ he thought, frown deepening. _No, Marinette has no reason to lie about something like that. She’s an honest person in general. And she knows I hate lies._

Sitting back on his haunches, he wondered _if_ she would lie like that, and why she’d cling to the lie so tightly, it damaged her relationship with Luka.

Chat’s next thought hit him like a shock of cold water. 

Marinette hadn’t kissed him. Ladybug had.

 _Ladybug_ had.

He stood, staggering into the railing. He gripped the cold metal, feeling lightheaded. It was an unwelcome sensation, uncomfortable, just like the forbidden knowledge he’d stumbled across. He felt sick.

_But… Marinette can’t be Ladybug._

_Could she?_

“Just think,” Plagg had said, “if she were Ladybug, she’d be bringing you dinner three times a day…”

The penny dropped. All the clues she’d given Chat and Adrien, all the times she’d been upset when Marinette was upset… It all made too much sense. And Plagg knew who she was the whole time, having seen her during the Dark Owl incident.

Hysterically, Chat remembered that Ladybug would be furious with him for figuring out her identity. He almost laughed, but stuffed the manic cackle so he wouldn’t be overheard. His tail twisted, whipping back and forth through the air.

 _Ladybug,_ he forced himself to think, is Marinette. Marinette is Ladybug.

Warmth bloomed in his chest. _Marinette is Ladybug. They’re the same person! I love the same person! I’m not cheating on either one of them by loving them both._

Not that he was in a relationship with either of them. He planned to change that. Excitement flooded his brain. The railing rattled under his trembling, super-strength fueled grip. 

“What was that?” Alya said, and he reached for his baton. If Marinette caught him, she’d never forgive him. He vaulted off the roof just before the skylight opened.

 _Ladybug is Marinette,_ he thought again, sailing through the streets. Catching the scent of Spring flowers, he smiled. _Marinette is Ladybug! That’s awesome!_

His heart felt light and free. The knowledge that he loved both sides of his Lady soothed his soul and made him giddy.  
He laughed and whooped, helicoptering his way to the Eiffel Tower. He felt like singing.

Now all he had to do was reveal his identity to her. Chat quickly made a plan of attack. _First, get her to love me. Both sides of me. Easy enough._ He landed on the Tower, and bounced on the balls of his feet.

 _Then, I reveal myself._ He was a bit more fuzzy on how that would work out, but he didn’t care.

 _Marinette is Ladybug. Ladybug is Marinette!_ Overcome with happiness, he almost screamed the revelation into the darkness, but realized at the last moment that that would be a terrible idea.

Then he remembered Kagami’s rules. He wasn’t to approach Marinette for two weeks after their breakup. But he’d already waited the requisite two weeks.

But Marinette… had just broken up with Luka. And it was Adrien’s fault.

Ladybug’s inability to meet his eyes during patrols made so much more sense. Chat knew he couldn’t woo her now. She was hurting, because she’d hurt Luka. She was compassionate enough that hurting another person was anathema to her. He’d have to wait until she recovered.

And she wouldn’t let him help. That wounded him, more than he cared to admit.

The next day, both Alya and Marinette were absent from school. Adrien wondered if they were at the bakery, eating ice cream. He’d grown very fond of Marinette’s pink-wallpapered room, and the girl who lived there. Truth be told, he was jealous of Alya for being able to help, but he brutally squashed the thought.

 _I should be happy Marinette has someone to help her at all,_ he thought, chewing on the end of a pen. 

At the lunch break, Nino looked to him with wide eyes. “Dude, did you hear that Luka and Marinette broke up?”

“I did,” Adrien said carefully. “In fact, I was there.” He almost flinched at the memory of Luka’s anger. “Did Alya tell you why?”

“Nah, Dude, she couldn’t. Something about the girl code.”

Adrien silently thanked Alya. He assumed neither Alya nor Marinette would be confronting him, given how he wasn’t supposed to know that Marinette was the one who kissed him as Ladybug.

Nino continued. “They were, like, the perfect couple. But she’s single now.” His gaze pierced Adrien. “I guess that’s good news for you.”

Nino’s open, conciliatory tone startled Adrien. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve seen the way you look at Marinette, Adrien,” Nino said, adjusting his hat. “We’ve _all_ seen it.”

 _Including Marinette?_ Adrien wondered, hope blooming in his chest. “Oh,” he said, feeling warmth grow in his cheeks. He rubbed the back of his head. “I mean, uh… I do... like... her.”

“You’re finally admitting it, then?” Nino probed gently, laying a hand on Adrien’s shoulder.

“I guess I am,” Adrien said, the tiniest of smiles tugging at his lips.

“Wow, Dude,” Nino said, shaking his head. “Alya is going to be _pissed_ that she didn’t get that on video.”

***

Just before patrol on Tuesday night, Adrien paced in his room, talking to Plagg. “And Ladybug is Marinette, Plagg! Marinette is Ladybug!” 

“I know,” Plagg grumped. “You’ve told me that a billion times now, Kid.”

Adrien flopped back on his bed, sighing dreamily. “It’s because I love her so much.”

“Oh, gross!” Plagg said, disappearing into his cheese cabinet.

“Oh, no, you don’t,” Adrien said. “You have to transform me for patrol. So I can see Ladybug. Who is Marinette!” Another dreamy sigh.

Through the door, Plagg said something succinct and loud in another language. Adrien just knew it was rude.

“Plagg, claws out!” Adrien said, brandishing his ring. For the first time in a long time, he went through his old motions to transform into Chat Noir, clawing at the air. He flicked his baton open, only to see a message from Ladybug.

“Kitty, I’m…” she started, despondent. He wilted. “I’m calling off patrol tonight. I know you were probably looking forward to it, but I’m just not feeling it. Sorry.”

The message ended, and his screen went dark. Chat sunk into a crouch, his tail curling around his own ankle.  
He couldn’t visit her at the bakery on a Tuesday. Curious, he flipped over to the Ladybug tracker. As expected, no Ladybug logo showed up on his map. He sighed.

“Claws in.”

Plagg flew out of the ring. He gave Adrien a pitying look. “I’m sorry, Kid.”

“Yeah, well,” Adrien said. He was unsure of what to say next, so he said nothing. 

Plagg patted him on the cheek. “She just needs time.”

“Would my presence make it worse?”

“Most definitely,” the kwami said, and Adrien winced. “Just be patient. Be patient. Don’t be in such a hurry.”

“But Plagg--”

“Patience,” Plagg counseled, his words a little gruffer. “You waited this long. What’s two more days?”

Adrien couldn’t help but agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	23. Chapter 23

Even miserable, Marinette looked beautiful on Wednesday. Alya shot eye-daggers at Adrien all throughout the class. Unwilling and unable to defend himself, he shrugged at Alya. 

He wanted to talk to Marinette alone, as Adrien, to see if he could help. After all, he wasn’t supposed to know that Marinette had kissed him as Ladybug, and he was a consummate actor when it came to pretending confusion.

But Alya stuck to her friend like glue. Adrien couldn’t get her by herself, even at lunch.  
Eventually, Alya had to go to the bathroom. Adrien saw his chance and swooped in for the kill. “Comment vous sentez, Marinette?” he said, once he finally cornered her alone by the lockers. How are you feeling?

“A-Adrien,” Marinette said, wide-eyed. He offered her a gentle smile, trying not to look like he expected anything of her. She looked away and dabbed at her nose with a tissue. “’m fine.”

“Are you sure? Luka looked pretty angry. I hope he didn’t take it out on you?”

She bristled. “He didn’t.”

“Oh,” Adrien said, feeling guilty for throwing Luka under the bus. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to impugn his honor.”

“You did.”

Adrien rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry,” he said again. This conversation was not going the way he thought it would. He caught sight of Alya in the doorway, giving him the evil eye. He ignored her. Placing his hands on Marinette’s shoulders, Adrien looked her in the eye. She stiffened in his grip.

“Marinette, I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. Anything at all. If you need to vent about what’s bothering you, I’m here for you,” Adrien said, and then went for the gold. “I care about you, Marinette.”

She burst into tears. 

Alya whisked her away, glaring at Adrien.

 _Well,_ Adrien thought, kicking himself. _That could have gone better._

***

School on Thursday was just as much of a mess. Adrien didn’t approach Marinette, and she seemed happy to avoid him. Nino consoled Adrien as best he could while wondering what the heck was going on.

Aside from the day Chat was meant to visit Marinette--which he’d been looking forward to all week--Thursday was also the day fencing practice was scheduled for Adrien this week. To his surprise and delight, Kagami asked M. D’Argencourt to partner her with Adrien.

Adrien bent his knees, turning his left foot outward. Kagami was as still as a statue before him.

“Par le fer,” M. D’Argencourt said. “Pret. Allez!”

As expected, she gave him no quarter. He found himself on the defensive constantly, panting with the sheer effort of keeping up with her. Sweat poured in rivulets down his back. The frenetic match took them all over the courtyard and up the stairs into the library, reminding him of his very first match with her, the day she was akumatized into Riposte. 

But while she was vicious in her lunges, he could sense no malice from her. She was a consummate professional; fencing was in her blood, and she wouldn’t let anything compromise that. She parried him decisively, and slammed him up against a bookshelf. Her sabre bent, nearly snapping in half, as the tip dug into his shoulder.

He had lost.

He lifted his helmet, grinning like a fool. “Wow, Kagami,” he said, once again breathless in her presence. His chest heaved as he gulped for air. “That was some match.”

“I’m glad you had fun, Adrien,” she said through her helmet, and because her voice was muffled, he couldn’t tell if she was happy or sad. She didn’t look winded at all, and he admired that.

Then she lifted her helmet, and smiled at him. It was a sweet smile, the one she’d give when she’d accomplished something worth doing. A smile she used when she was comfortable. He smelled salt, but didn’t see any tears.

Later, while he was cooling down on the benches in the locker room, Kagami approached him with a water bottle. “Here,” she said, uncapping it for him. Drink.”

Marinette’s words floated back to him. She’d asked him if he had anyone to remind him to drink water and not get dehydrated, and he’d told her no. “Oh, _Chat_ ,” she'd whispered, “Don’t you have anyone who cares for you at all?”

 _Yes,_ he thought, happily taking a long pull on the water bottle. _I do._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	24. Chapter 24

The first thing Adrien did after fencing practice on Thursday was to buy Marinette eleven pink roses to give to her as Chat. But Plagg counseled him against going overboard, and recommended just one rose. 

Adrien took his kwami's advice, and transformed. Chat still had to meet Ladybug for patrol. On instinct, he took her one of Marinette's pink roses.

He didn’t know how he’d encourage Ladybug to want him to reveal himself--and reveal herself in turn. He knew she’d be incandescently furious with him for figuring it out. But if he played his cards right, this could turn out very nicely.

So he decided to drop hints about who he was. Breadcrumbs. Maybe if she figured it out first, she’d be willing to drop the secrecy around her own identity.

And then date him.

Yes, this would all work out, he thought.

Holding his pink rose in one hand and helicoptering with the other, Chat landed with a thud on their fated rooftop. As usual, Ladybug was already there, leaning on the railing and staring off into the middle distance. He could practically taste her exhaustion; it poured off her in waves, showing in the shadows under her eyes, her bent head, and her slumped shoulders. She didn’t even look up at him.

He was irrationally angry at Luka, and had to talk himself off that ledge before opening his mouth.

Chat steeled himself. How he approached Ladybug would make or break him.

So he followed his instincts. He wrapped an arm around her slim shoulders, pulling her close to his chest. 

She tensed, and then relaxed again, burying her nose into his collarbone. Her tears rolled off his supersuit, the fabric wicking away the salty water.

“Let it all out, Ladybug,” he said, stroking her back with his free hand. “I’m here for you.”

Ladybug, he’d noticed, was an ugly crier. She wiped snot on his chest, her shoulders heaving as she blubbered. At one point, she positively howled. When he saw her getting even more worked up--which was not his intention at all--he started purring. The sound seemed to steady her frayed nerves; after what felt like an eternity, her sobs calmed.

She raised her head. Chat’s shoulders were stiff from holding her. He wouldn’t trade that stiffness for anything in the world.

“Thank you, Kitty,” she said, scrubbing her hands over her cheeks and eyes. “Sorry I’m such a mess.”  
Chat caught her chin in his clawed hand and tilted her face up to his. They were nose-to-nose. He gently pressed his lips to her cheek. “You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

“I hurt him,” she whispered so quietly he had to strain his feline ears to hear.

Chat winced at the haunted look in her eyes. “Whom?”

“My boyfriend. We broke up.”

And there it was. If he needed confirmation of who she really was, that was a pretty solid piece of the puzzle that was her identity. 

“You had a boyfriend?” he said, trying to sound surprised. And a little hurt. He didn't have to pretend much; Ladybug had always kept her personal life close to her chest, which had always stung.

It stung now.

Guilt filled her teary eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“It’s fine,” he said, feline ears flattening. “Oh, Ladybug. I’m so sorry. What happened?”

Ladybug looked away. “I kissed someone else.”

Chat swallowed. It was do or die time. “Someone you love?”

“Yes.”

That one small word rocketed him up to cloud nine. She loved him. She loved him! Adrien! Chat desperately tried to stuff his giddiness; he was here to console Ladybug, not be happy for himself. 

Plus, when he really thought about it, getting her to admit that she loved him as Adrien when he was consoling her as Chat felt like cheating. He fell off cloud nine and plummeted straight to earth. His stomach, previously filled with butterflies, felt sick.

“I’m sorry, Ladybug,” Chat murmured, rubbing her back.

“What are you sorry for?” she asked, and he felt the world shift under his feet.

 _For making you break up with your boyfriend,_ he wanted to say. _For kissing you. For hurting you. For hurting Luka._

“Chat?” 

Chat looked away from her, hanging his head over her shoulder. Now it was her supersuit’s turn to wick away tears. He’d been so selfish. How could he be happy about breaking up what Nino had called the perfect couple? 

Kissing Ladybug fulfilled all his wildest dreams. 

And hurt her. And hurt Marinette.

“Mar--” he started, and stopped when he realized his mistake. “Ladybug, I’m sorry you broke up with your boyfriend. I’m sorry you’re hurting. This situation sucks all around.”

Ladybug gave him a wet chuckle. “It does.”

He had to tell her he’d figured out her identity. He couldn’t keep secrets from her. But the words wouldn’t come.

He leaned back, and kissed her on the cheek again. Then he offered her the rose. “If you ever want to talk about anything, anything at all, I’m here for you. I care for you, Ladybug.”

Chat hoped that his words were close enough to what he’d said as Adrien to let her know who he was.

“Oh, Chat,” she said weakly, plucking the rose from his grasp. She stuck her nose into the pink petals and breathed deeply. He knew that her sense of smell as Ladybug had been heightened, especially when it came to flowers. Just like his had as Chat’s, though he was pretty sure his feline senses were stronger than her Ladybug ones.

“I love you, Ladybug,” Chat said. It was the most honest he’d ever been in his entire life. He loved her: heart, mind and soul. He’d die for her. Both sides of her. 

And he’d die if she didn’t love him back.

“I know,” she said, patting his cheek. His heart sank. She tucked the rose behind her ear. “Shall we get to patrol?”

 _I know,_ he thought, desperately trying to stuff the bitterness that bubbled up. _Not I love you._

He sighed, and ran a hand through his blond mane. “Are you feeling better?”

“Much.”

Chat smiled weakly, matching hers. “Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	25. Chapter 25

Thursday night’s patrol was quick and invigorating. Chat loved Paris. He loved the sense of utter freedom he felt using his muscles to propel him across the city. He loved the wind in his face and the scents it carried. He loved the Parisians, with all their messy, heartbreakingly beautiful lives.

He knew Ladybug’s favorite part of the city was its people. Her comforting the akumatized victims was his favorite part of battle. To see her care for and nurture the people she loved made his heart grow three sizes too big. 

He hoped she would someday turn that care and love to him.

Chat whooped and laughed as he vaulted himself across the rooftops. To his delight, Ladybug laughed with him. His night vision cast a greenish glow over everything.

They returned to their rooftop, and parted with one last embrace. He had comforted his Lady! Chat felt wonderful. 

He hoped Marinette would be in as good a mood, and willing to be comforted by him.

After Ladybug left, he lingered on the roof, leaning against the railing. He was waiting for Ladybug to get back to the bakery and transform into Marinette. He knew that if he beat her to the bakery she would choose not to go there, instead looping around and avoiding him. If he witnessed her transformation too early--and without her permission--she’d be furious. 

He was amused to realize that she’d been leaving in the same direction--the direction of home--the entire time they’d gone on patrols together. He was an idiot for not realizing earlier. 

So he waited, his tail curling. He scented the air and picked up the aroma of flowers. 

Flowers. He’d forgotten Marinette’s rose. He’d given Ladybug hers, but didn’t bring a second one, because that would have been suspicious. 

So he bolted back to the Agreste mansion and slipped through his window, grimacing at the glaring transition between night vision and light vision at his room. Grasping a second pink rose, he sped to the Dupain-Cheng bakery. 

Landing with a thump on the chimney, he inhaled the amazing scent of freshly-baked bread that had first attracted him to the house. _Came for the bread, stayed for the girl._  
Chat couldn’t deny it. He was happy.

But Marinette wouldn’t be. His feline ears picked up the faint, distinct sound of someone sobbing. Sobering up was painful, but he did it. Sliding down the chimney with one hand, he knocked on the skylight. To his relief, Alya didn’t appear to be there this time.

He heard someone shifting in the room. Marinette stood on her chaise longue and opened the skylight for him. 

“Hi, Chat,” she said, sniffling. Without her mask, he could see how puffy her eyes were. His heart clenched in his chest. 

“Hi, Marinette,” he said, holding out the rose. “May I come in?”

“You don’t have to wait for an invitation, silly kitty,” she said, with a tiny smile tugging up the corners of her lips. “We know each other well enough.”

He was back on cloud nine again. “It’s still polite.”

“Thank you,” Marinette said, accepting the rose and ducking down into the room. Chat followed. 

The first thing he noticed was the crumpled-up Kleenex tissues strewn all over the floor. She looked like she’d gone through at least three boxes. _Oh, Marinette. This won’t do._

He hopped off the chaise longue and crossed to the desk. Bending slightly, he retrieved the trash can. Then he knelt and started picking up the snot-papers.

“What are you doing?” she said, blowing her nose. 

“Helping you,” he said simply.

Marinette’s flush was the cutest he’d ever seen. “You don’t have to do that!” She hustled over to him and knelt down next to him, frantically picking up used tissues and dumping them in the trash can he held. 

They both reached for the same tissue, and their fingers brushed. Chat looked down at Marinette. She looked up at him. She licked her lips. “Chat, I--”

He placed a clawed finger on her lips. “Let me help you,” he said. Then he gave her a lazy, cat-like smile. He laid another breadcrumb, saying words she’d used with Adrien: “You don’t like it when people refuse your help; I don’t either.” 

She made a strangled sound. He thought she might choke. But then she recovered herself, and nodded. 

They spent the next few minutes filling up her trash can, stuffing down the tissues when they needed more space. Chat was surprised that the little bin could hold that much. 

She left the room to retrieve a wet rag, so he could wipe snot off his hands. By the time she returned, his stomach was growling.

“Oh, Chat, I’m sorry, I forgot to feed you,” Marinette said, handing him the rag. “And on Monday, too.” 

“It’s fine,” he said, scrubbing snot off his hands--and surreptitiously, his chest, where Ladybug had left some earlier. “I’ve gone hungry before.”

Marinette flinched. “I fail to see how that is fine,” she growled. “Be right back.”

He laughed as she stomped off downstairs.

She returned with not one, but two trays of pastries, a spinach quiche in a 9x13 pan, and Pain d’epices--spice bread. He knew that they would eat it all. She was dangerously unbalanced, so he took some of the load as she was coming up the stairs. “Thank you, Marinette.” 

“You’re welcome, Chat. Let’s start with the quiche.”

After filling their plates, they sat on the chaise longue, shoulder to shoulder again. Chat was happy he could no longer smell her tears. The salty tang was subsumed by the taste of spinach on his tongue. He stuffed his face gladly.

After a while, he noticed that Marinette, who could usually pack away just as much as he did, wasn’t eating. He stopped, spice bread halfway to his mouth.

“Marinette? Are you okay?” He knew the answer. He didn’t want her to hurt anymore, didn’t want to be the reminder of what his alter-ego did. But he knew she had to process her emotions, and to do that, she needed to talk about what happened.

He hoped she would open up to him as Chat. She hadn’t, when he’d asked her as Adrien.

“I hurt him,” she whispered again, tucking her knees to her chest. The plate spilled off her lap, and onto the cushion. 

“Who?” Chat said, retreading the earlier conversation with Ladybug.

“My boyfriend.”

Chat set his plate aside, ignoring hers for the moment, and wrapped his arms around his fragile Lady. There it was, the scent of tears, again. “I’m so sorry, L--Marinette.”

She sniffed, leaning her head against his chest. “I know.”

 _What does she know?_ Chat said, feeling a modicum of excitement lick at his senses. He felt like the answer to the puzzle was just out of reach; if he could just stretch his mind, he’d be able to grasp the loose thread.

Holding Marinette, he started purring right away. He wanted nothing more than to drop his transformation and show her who was behind the cat mask. She liked him as Adrien, right? 

Chat looked around the room, noticing for the first time that the pictures of him were no longer plastered all over her walls. The space looked bare and lonely. He wondered when she’d taken them down, and realized it was probably around the time she’d started dating Luka. 

Luka. Yet another person hurt in this tangled web. 

Chat stared at the wall as she started sobbing against him, seeing nothing. He’d let her cry as much as she needed, tonight and every night.

“I ruined everything,” Marinette choked out, drawing his attention back to her.

“How?” Chat said, carefully scratching her scalp with a clawed hand. He was careful not to poke her or draw blood. 

“I kissed someone else.”

Chat’s heart pounded in his chest. “Don’t you think he’s partially responsible?”

“No,” she said, snuffling. 

“That’s not right,” he said, tilting her chin up to look her in the eye. He chose his next words carefully, trying not to make this about him and his feelings. “‘I’m sure he’d take responsibility if you give him the chance.”

Marinette’s breath hitched twice. “It’s my fault. I was the one who… fell… fell....”

“Who kissed who first?” Chat demanded, trying to make her see she was being unreasonable.

“... He did.”

“Well, there you go. It’s his fault.” And Chat realized it again: he’d hurt her. He did this. Her pain was his fault. And so was Luka’s. He was incensed with himself. Rage burned behind his breastbone. 

_Hawkmoth would have a field day with this._

“It’s not his fault,” she said, tears rolling down her beautiful cheeks. “He wasn’t in a relationship with my boyfriend! I was! It was my choice that hurt him!”

Chat kissed her tears away. “Look,” he said, sighing. He tried to stuff his anger, lest she think he was mad at her. “You didn’t purposefully set out to hurt your boyfriend. You probably got caught up in the heat of the moment.”

“But I still hurt him,” Marinette said, lower lip quivering.

Chat didn’t know what to say. And then he did. “Do you love him? Your boyfriend?”

“Yes,” she said, and he bit his lip. 

Chat’s next words dropped like stones in his belly. “Maybe he’ll take you back. You can get back together.”

He knew encouraging her to get back together with Luka was the right thing to do. It was just the most painful conclusion Chat could come to. He closed his eyes.

“I…” Marinette started. He could tell she was considering his words, speaking carefully, so she didn’t hurt him. That was his Marinette. Someone so compassionate that if she hurt someone, it broke her. He wished he could be like that, rather than constantly shoving the people he cared about into harm’s way.

“I can’t,” she whispered. “I still love the other boy.”

Hearing the words the second time floored him. He knew she loved him, she’d said so as Ladybug, but he didn’t really _know_. She loved him. 

As Adrien.

He realized with a start that he didn’t know if she liked him as Chat Noir. Ladybug had constantly rejected his advances, when he was making them. 

_She doesn’t love all of me. Just half._ The thought depressed him.

But she _did_ like Adrien. He clung to that. 

_I have to get her to love me as Chat Noir. Ladybug won’t, but… Maybe Marinette will?_

But how could she love someone who’d hurt her so often? Tears stung Chat’s eyes, which he opened. “I’m so sorry, Marinette,” he whispered, pressing his lips to her head.

“What are you sorry for?”

“You’re hurting,” he said, his chest shuddering, moving her hands. _I hurt you. I’m so sorry._

He didn’t deserve her. Feeling claustrophobic, Chat gently disengaged from her. He stood from the chair, and held his head in his hands. 

“Chat?” she said, confusion evident on her face when he looked at her. She reached a hand out to him, but he shied away. “Are you okay?”

He laughed thickly, as if there was tar on his tongue. “You’re too compassionate for your own good. We’re focusing on you tonight. Don’t make this about my feelings.” He held out a hand. “Dance with me.”

“Dance with you?”

He blew air out from his lips. “We need to move. I need to move. We’re cooped up in our own feelings and we’re stewing in them, turning in circles. If we move, we’ll feel better. Purromise.”

Her gaze trailed from his eyes to his clawed fingers. She slipped her warm hand into his. He tugged her up from the chaise longue, taking her hand and placing it on his shoulder. He rested his other hand on her waist, and started stepping in a one-two-three box on the floor. Leading her was easy; she was graceful on her feet as Ladybug, and while she was clumsy as Marinette, he was holding her upright so she wouldn’t trip.

“The sea, that we see dancing along the clear gulfs, with silver reflections…” he sang, almost under his breath. He knew his singing voice wasn’t the best, despite claiming he had a great voice to Ladybug earlier, but singing was something he could do for Marinette. Besides, they needed music to dance to. “The sea. Changing reflections under the rain…” 

“The sea,” Marinette sang with him, shakily at first, but growing in confidence. She relaxed in his arms, moving with flowing motions into the dance steps. “In the summer sky, confuses his white sheep with the angels so pure…”

The song, La Mer, was a sprightly jazz love song written in 1945, with swelling violins, gentle piano, and cheery lyrics. His mother had loved it.

Buoyed by Marinette joining in, Chat’s voice took on a deeper timbre, to complement her mezzo-soprano. Their song wasn’t in perfect harmony, like hers would have been with Luka. But it was close enough.  
His voice swelled in volume and self-assurance; his feet moved faster and faster. She followed, singing along just as loud. 

For the crescendo, he whipped his hand to the left, letting go of her as he held out the note. “The seeea,” he sang emphatically, amplifying his voice. Then he dropped his voice to a whisper, pressing his forehead to hers: “And a love song rocked my heart,” another crescendo, “fooooor liiiiiife!” 

She laughed, bright and sparkling. In fact, she laughed so hard, she leaned into him, almost knocking him over. “Y-You caterwauled!”

“Oh, that is _it_ ,” Chat said conspiratorially. With a wicked gleam in his eye, he seized her sides, tickling her mercilessly.

Marinette squealed and wriggled away from him, which only made him chase her down. He snatched her wrist and pulled her to him, tickling her waist. Then he picked her up, holding her back to his chest, and swung her around, faster and faster, until she was shrieking with laughter.

Dizzy, he set her down on her feet, but she seemed just as lightheaded as he was, and leaned on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her, slowly blinking at her.

Something shifted in her expression; pink dusted her cheeks, and she seemed to cast about for words. She tucked her hair behind her ear, and carefully wrapped her arms around his neck, lacing her fingers together behind his nape. “When did you get so _tall_?” she complained, and he chuckled.

Due to his Spring growth spurt, he was a full head taller than her now, six feet tall, filling out nicely with lean muscle. His legs and arms were strong and powerful, even without the supersuit. His shoulders were broad, and now that he’d had enough to eat over the past three months, he was no longer the scrawny Chat Noir she had known. 

“Thank you, Chat,” she said. One of her pigtails had come loose in the struggle, and her cheeks were flushed with both exertion and embarrassment. Her lips were parted, and she licked them.

 _Beautiful,_ he thought. _She’s beautiful._ Without realizing what he was doing, he leaned down until his lips were a mere whisper away from hers. He could feel her hot breath on the exposed parts of his face, and he shuddered. Time seemed to stand still between them; her blown gaze was all he ever wanted. All he had to do to seal the deal was move closer...

Chat shook his blond mane, trying to get a hold of himself. _I can’t kiss her now,_ he thought, pulling back. She looked strangely disappointed, which gave him a hope he dared not name. _It’s too soon. Kissing her would be wrong._

 _I don’t even know if she loves Chat._

He cleared his throat and disengaged from her again, gently unlacing her fingers. “Well, I should probably go,” he said, feeling hot and cold all at once. Oddly, he was out of breath and he didn’t know why. 

Marinette looked like she was about to cry again. “You haven’t even eaten yet.”

She was right. His growling stomach chose to reassert itself. He placed a hand over his belly, willing it to be silent. “I’m… not hungry?”

“Chat,” she said, placing her hands on her hips, “you’re always hungry.”

He didn’t dare say he could take the food with him; he didn’t think she trusted him not to hoard it. The New Stash was coming along nicely, all imperishables and protein drinks. He broke into it daily, and rotated his stock. Nathalie had caught Adrien drinking a protein shake in the middle of that week, but she’d promised with a tiny smile that she wouldn’t tell his father.

Nerves fluttering, Chat crossed to the chaise longue, and sat down on the edge, teetering on his tailbone.

“Chat,” Marinette said, coming up beside him and laying a hand on his shoulder. “Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“No!” he squeaked. “I didn’t want to make _you_ uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t,” she said, kissing him on the cheek. Everywhere her lips touched burned. “I love you, Chat Noir.”

His heart exploded. She sounded serious. “You… do?”

“Of course,” she said, smiling sweetly at him. “You’re my friend.”

His stomach bottomed out. “Ah. Yes. Of course. Of course I’m your friend. And I love you, too, in that way. Also.”

“I know,” she said, curling up next to him on the seat and placing her head in his open lap. 

He was in too deep.

The wooden trapdoor in the middle of Marinette’s room leading to the stairs popped open. To his horror, Sabine Cheng, Marinette’s mother, stuck her head through the opening. She smiled at the two teenagers. 

Marinette ripped her head off Chat’s lap so fast, she almost cracked his nose with the top of her head. “Maman!” she cried, slapping her rapidly-reddening cheeks.

“I know you two are having fun,” Sabine said, eyes twinkling with a knowing look, “but could you please be quieter? Tom and I are trying to sleep.”

“We’re so sorry, Madame Cheng!” Chat gushed, at the same time as Marinette erupted with, “Of course, Maman!”

“And Chat?” Sabine said, smiling at him. He sat up straighter. “I’m looking forward to our next game of Le Donjon.”

“O-Of course, Madame Cheng!” he stammered.

“Call me Sabine.” She chuckled and left, closing the trapdoor behind her with a quiet click.

Chat stared at Marinette. Marinette stared at Chat.

“Sorry!” they both said to each other, and then chuckled awkwardly. 

With a groan, he covered his heated face. He’d never been so embarrassed in all his life. Not even when Nathalie had walked in on him and Kagami making out. He peeked through his clawed fingers at Marinette, wondering how she was taking this.

Marinette tucked her hair behind her ear again. “Well,” she said, “I guess that rules out further renditions of La Mer.”

“Or we can sing really, really quietly,” Chat said, lowering his hands.

She laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rveEkv4ZM8k) is the song they sing, La Mer or Beyond the Sea, by Charles Trenet. Thanks for reading!
> 
> \---
> 
> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	26. Chapter 26

Adrien was annoyed. With himself.

He wanted Marinette to love him as Chat. So when she’d told him that she loved him… as a friend, he accepted that as a good start.

But the more he thought about it, the more he perceived that that kind of love wasn’t enough. 

He was annoyed with himself for it not being enough. He should be waiting for her, not sulking about being put in the Friend Zone.

Then he realized that’s exactly what he’d done to her. As Adrien. 

She’d loved him for a long time, he realized with awe. All the stuttering, the nervousness, the blushes, the pictures on the walls, the insane way she always knew where he’d be at any given moment--all of it was borne out of her adoration for him. 

“Marinette is a great person,” he’d said. “But she’s just a friend.”

He was doubly annoyed.

Sulking on his bed at night one week after dancing with Marinette as Chat, Adrien despaired. He wondered how he was ever going to get her to love both sides of him. It seemed like a Sisyphean task: every time he’d roll the boulder up the hill, the heavy rock would roll down again, squashing him flat.

So he’d moped for a full week. He threw himself into being a good friend to Nino, giving him feedback on his music and unintentionally losing to him in Ultimate Mecha Strike 3. 

“What do I do, Nino?” Adrien whined, clutching his controller to his chest. 

“This again?” Nino said, laughing.

“I put her in the Friend Zone!” Adrien said, throwing his hands in the air.

“Yep,” Nino said, wrinkling his nose. “For years.”

“I ignored how awesome she was!”

Nino’s eyes shone behind his glasses. “I wouldn’t have had a crush on her if she wasn’t.”

“I was a total jerk!” Adrien said, dropping the controller and burying his face in his hands.

“Yep,” Nino said. “You’re a terrible person for making this mistake. Completely irredeemable.”

Adrien threw his head back and groaned.

Marinette seemed to be improving day by day, but it was still too soon to think about kissing her as much as Adrien did.

Lying prone with his arms folded under his pillow, Adrien wondered--not for the first time--what kissing her as Chat would be like. On the lips, not just the cheek. Would they use tongue? He’d never kissed anyone as Chat, especially not heatedly, and he was sure his feline senses would make the experience transcendent. 

_It would probably be just like eating _, Adrien mused. _Nice… and overwhelming.___

__He wondered if Ladybug had heightened senses as well. And if kissing him as Adrien had been good--or, he dared to dream, wonderful. It was certainly wonderful for him._ _

__He sighed. He really wanted to kiss her as Chat. And as Adrien._ _

__He didn’t know how he would be able to wait until she fell in love with both sides of him. He wanted to make a move on Marinette, as Adrien, but he wanted her to reveal her identity so he could love all of her, too. She was his Salad, his subconscious reminded him, though the thought didn’t take shape. (Fantasizing about kissing Marinette, he didn’t think of Kagami.)_ _

__He also knew that he needed to apologize to Luka. It was Adrien’s fault that the perfect couple had broken up. Luka and Kagami were both innocent parties in Adrien and Ladybug’s mistake. He would never make that kind of mistake again._ _

__Adrien hadn’t seen Luka since the day of his breakup with Marinette. The guitarist had been uncharacteristically pissed at him during the breakup; Adrien knew why, but that didn’t make apologizing to him any easier._ _

__Adrien knew he’d have to get Luka alone, away from Kitty Section, hopefully with his guitar, which almost always calmed him. But how would Adrien do that?_ _

__He sighed again._ _

__Thinking about couples made Adrien think about what couples did, bringing his thoughts full-circle: back to kissing. He thought of Marinette’s beautiful pink lips. He remembered that she’d parted them when she’d laced her fingers around Chat’s neck after they’d danced. His cheeks grew pleasantly warm._ _

__They’d been nose to nose. He was able to taste her coffee breath. She’d pressed her body against his, face flushed with exertion. If only she’d pressed her lips to his as well..._ _

__He sighed a third time, dreamily this time._ _

__Plagg flew over, holding a giant wedge of camembert. “What are you sighing about?”_ _

__Adrien gave him a tender smile. “Kissing.”_ _

__“Gross!” Plagg said, as Adrien expected him to. The kwami stuffed the stinky cheese in his mouth and swallowed it in a giant gulp. He burped._ _

__“Kissing isn’t gross, Plagg. Your belching is gross.”_ _

__Plagg offered him a toothy grin. “I am a kwami of many talents.”_ _

__***_ _

__Adrien was actually looking forward to school on Friday. He’d finally figured out how to get Luka alone so Adrien could apologize for his part in the breakup. Adrien would get the guitarist’s number from Marinette, and then text him to set up a meeting place and time._ _

__Easy peasy._ _

__What he didn’t count on was Marinette’s vehement objection to the idea._ _

__“Hey, Marinette,” he’d said, smiling softly at her as she took her seat in Madame Bustier’s class._ _

__“A-Adrien,” she stammered, tucking her hair behind her ear._ _

__He sighed inwardly. _Back to this again. Hopefully she’ll grow more comfortable with time.__ _

__He glanced at Alya, who’d been atypically quiet around him for the past few weeks. Since even a little before the breakup. Adrien wondered if Alya had known whether Marinette and Luka were on the rocks. The Ladyblogger raised a brow at Adrien, as if daring him to ask her that question. He didn’t know if she’d forgiven him for his part in the dating disaster, but she’d at least stopped glaring at him._ _

__He turned back to Marinette, winning smile fixed in place. He had a job to do. And it was going to be unpleasant for all involved._ _

__“When you and Luka… broke up on the Liberty,” he started, and realized how much of a mistake that was even as he said it. Her eyes filled with tears, and he winced. Soldiering on, he said, “Luka seemed really upset with me. I want to apologize. Do think you could give me his numb--”_ _

__“No!” Marinette shrieked, drawing the attention of the rest of her classmates. A deep, dark flush flooded her face and neck. She fidgeted in her seat. “You can’t.”_ _

___Oh, right_ , Adrien thought. _She doesn’t want me to know her secret identity. If I talked to Luka, he’d tell me she kissed me. I… did not think this through.__ _

__He pretended confusion. “Why not?”_ _

__Marinette stared at her feet._ _

__Alya cleared her throat. “Madame Bustier is about to start class.”_ _

__Reluctantly, Adrien turned around to face the rest of the school day. But shortly after class started, his phone flashed with an akuma alert. He growled at it. _Bad timing.__ _

__Madame Bustier evacuated the class calmly. After making sure Nino and Chloe were safe, Adrien asked to be excused to go to the bathroom. So, he noticed, did Marinette. _I don’t know why I didn’t realize she was Ladybug before. I’m an idiot.__ _

__As soon as he reached the bathroom, Plagg phased out of his shirt. “You’re not being very nice to Marinette,” he said, sniffing disdainfully._ _

__“I don’t have time for a panic attack right now, Plagg,” Adrien said ruefully. “I’ll deal with this later. Claws out!”_ _

__When he arrived on the scene near the zoo, Chat found that Otis Cesare, Alya’s father, had been akumatized into Animan again. Chat winced, remembering the way the T-rex’s mouth had closed around Ladybug. Panic rose like bile in his throat, and he quickly sought his Lady._ _

__Animan was a difficult fight the first time. This time was even worse._ _

__This time, after cornering Ladybug, the panther-man dragged his claws down her torso. Her supersuit didn’t tear, but Animan’s claws raking across her chest produced a sound so high-pitched and penetrating, Chat dropped to his knees and covered his ears. Both his feline ears and his human ones were still ringing as he watched, eyes widened, as Ladybug staggered back and sank to one knee. Animan opened his massive jaw, going for her throat._ _

__Chat’s cry tore out of his lips. “Ladybug!”_ _

__Chat saw red. He launched himself at the panther-man, attacking him mercilessly with the baton. The boy’s fingers were gripped so tightly around the metal stick that he thought they might break--but he didn’t care. In the process, he shattered the tooth bracelet that the akuma had merged with. She de-evilized it right away._ _

__“Chat,” Ladybug said, one hand over her mouth._ _

__“Ladybug,” he said, gruffly. “Are you okay?”_ _

__“I’m fine. Are _you_ okay?”_ _

__He turned away from her, heart thudding around in his ribcage from the adrenaline rush. “No,” he admitted. “But I’ll be okay.”_ _

__Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her nod. She spent longer than usual comforting Otis, who, thankfully, had no memory of what had happened. Ladybug comforting the akumatized victims was Chat’s favorite part of battle. That day, watching her smile tenderly at Otis, safe and unharmed, Chat’s shoulders were still tense. He still panted, his tongue dry in his mouth._ _

__Chat was about to vault back to the school when he felt Ladybug’s hand on his shoulder. He was so upset that he didn’t even notice she’d snuck up on him. He jerked involuntarily._ _

__“We need to Talk, Kitty,” she said, unspooling her yo-yo. “The roof of Dupont. Now.”_ _

__Chat was at a loss for words. He swallowed and nodded grimly. Ladybug zipped across the rooftops of Paris, the sunlight glinting off her red and black-spotted supersuit. He followed her._ _

__She landed in a crouch on the roof of the school, but stood before he arrived._ _

__“Chat,” she began, hesitantly, her bluebell eyes lined with worry, “What’s wrong? You completely lost your ball. What set you off like that?”_ _

__He paced, twirling his baton in one clawed hand. Each stomping footstep was painful. He was still panting, and had to draw three breaths through his nose before he could speak. “You got hurt.”_ _

__“Je n'ai pas.”_ _

__He stopped walking. “You… didn’t?” he said, stunned._ _

__“No. The suit protected me.”_ _

__Chat looked her over, as if seeing her for the first time. There were no tears in the red supersuit, no visible damage. Nothing to show that she’d been harmed at all. He scented the air. No blood, not even under the skin. He could smell bruises as they were forming, and she didn’t even have those._ _

__He itched to get down on all fours and prowl around, wrapping his body around her ankles and rubbing his face on her legs, marking her as his. He wished he could wrap her up in an embrace so tight, she couldn’t escape. He wanted…_ _

__But he didn’t do anything. Chat just stood there, staring at her. He felt the sting of tears high in his nose._ _

__“I’m sorry, Ladybug,” he whispered, helpless._ _

__She opened her arms. Dropping his baton, he fell into her, burying his nose into her hair. He clung tightly, breathing in her scent. Her chocolate-coffee aroma calmed him._ _

__“I wish I could purr for you,” she said against his chest, her voice thick with tears._ _

__“I don’t feel much like purring.”_ _

__“I know.”_ _

__Chat kissed the top of her head. “I-I can’t bear to see you hurt.”_ _

__“I can protect myself.”_ _

__That hurt. Though her statement was true, it made him feel expendable and useless. His job, after all, was to protect her._ _

__Chat couldn’t do anything. Anything but nod._ _

__***_ _

__After his emotional reunion with Ladybug on the roof of the school, Adrien felt like a wrung-out rag. Marinette couldn’t meet his eye after he’d reminded her of her breakup with Luka, and he didn’t pressure her._ _

__Friday was Marinette’s day to bring him lunch. They ate Italian food in silence._ _

__The rest of the school day passed slowly. Adrien felt like he was in a daze. He couldn’t concentrate on his work, and kept looking at the clock. His mouth was dry, and his head felt wrapped in gauze._ _

__He was just walking down the front steps of Dupont when he heard his name being called. “Adrien!”_ _

__He turned around, only to see Alya bearing down on him, alone._ _

__“Adrien,” Alya said, pinning him with her gaze. She gripped his shoulder. “We need to Talk.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	27. Chapter 27

“Adrien,” Alya said, pinning him with her gaze. She’d caught him on the front steps of Dupont, leaving the school. He was still raw around the edges after the vicious fight with Animan, where he’d thought Ladybug was hurt. Alya gripped his shoulder. “We need to Talk.”

“Uhh,” Adrien said, quite eloquently, preparing to speak. Before he could, she grabbed his arm and dragged him behind the wall next to the steps. She crouched. He mimicked her.

“What’s your damage?” she hissed. “Marinette was just feeling better about the breakup, and then you go and _remind_ her of that pain?”

Adrien sucked in a breath. “I didn’t mean to hurt her. I just wanted to see if I could smooth things out with Luka.”

Alya pressed her fingertips to the middle of her forehead, just above her nose. “You didn’t have to involve her.”

“I don’t know how to get a hold of him.”

“C’est n’importe quoi!” Alya said. That’s nonsense. “Ask _me_ , you fool. Or just show up at his houseboat. You didn’t have to go and break her heart all over again.”

Adrien stared at his feet. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”

She was right. He knew it. He didn’t think through his plan of attack, and he hurt Marinette by acting selfishly. Again. 

Adrien couldn’t stop himself from hurting Marinette. 

How could she ever love someone as worthless as he was?

Alya wasn’t done with him. “What are your designs on Marinette?”

Adrien was stunned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” she ground out, reaching out to grip his shoulder too tightly, “you keep staring at her in class. I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but I think you’re making her uncomfortable.”

Adrien gasped. _I’m… making her uncomfortable?_ He clenched his fists on his bent knees.

Alya scrutinized him. “You shouldn’t be staring at her anyway. I mean, it’s not like you love her or anything.”

“But I do love Marinette,” Adrien said, still reeling from the thought of his gaze making his Lady tense.

Alya burst out laughing. She laughed long and hard, and wiped at her eye. “You? _You_ love Marinette? That’s rich!”

Adrien’s eyes narrowed. He grit his teeth, and placed a hand over his pounding heart. “I would die for her, Alya.”

She stared at him, eyes wide behind her glasses. “You’re serious.”

Adrien drew a breath. He nodded.

“You… You _do_ love her.” 

He nodded again.

Alya seemed to have an internal conversation. Adrien watched her eyes flick this way and that, up and down. When her gaze finally settled on him again, it was filled with wonder. “I am pissed that I didn’t get that on video.”

Adrien choked out a laugh. Nino knew his girlfriend all too well.

“Really,” Alya said. “She’ll never believe it.”

That sobered him up. “Why not?”

Alya placed a hand on his shoulder. “Because, Buttercup, you put her in the Friend Zone for _years_.”  
Heat flooded Adrien’s face. He reached up to rub the back of his head, but Alya arrested the movement by patting his cheek. 

“I want to help you,” she said.

“You can’t tell her, Alya,” Adrien said. Apparently he was not above begging, which was a surprise to him. 

“Of course not, pitit mwen. This has to come from you. _You_ have to tell her.”

“H-How?” Adrien stammered, and Alya shook his shoulder.

“Allez savoir pourquoi!” she said. Your guess is as good as mine. “ _You’re_ the romantic!”

Adrien smiled a little. He didn’t expect Alya to be on his side at the beginning of this conversation, and wondered how they’d gotten to this point.

Alya continued. “It’s not like you have to drink the ocean.”

“Thanks, Alya,” Adrien mumbled, smiling shyly.

Alya grinned. “Look at her like that, and she’ll be putty in your hands.”

***

Adrien took Alya’s advice. Saturday morning found him walking towards the docked Liberty, intent on apologizing to Luka. Adrien hadn’t been invited back to practice with Kitty Section in too long; surely everyone else in the group had noticed his absence by now. He had to smooth things over, if just for the sake of the band.

But that wasn’t the only reason he was apologizing. He knew kissing Ladybug when she had a boyfriend was wrong. And Adrien did had done that anyway. He didn’t know she had had a boyfriend at that point, but he still considered himself in the wrong. 

Besides, Luka was his friend. Adrien missed his friend. Adrien missed the mellow way Luka would command attention; missed the way he’d play soothing chords on his guitar when Rose was upset; missed the way he could read a room and say the right thing at the right moment.

He and Marinette really were the perfect couple. Adrien felt ashamed from his part in breaking them up.

So, with a heavy heart, he shuffled up to the Liberty. Anarka Couffaine, Luka’s mother--whom Adrien remembered had been akumatized into Captain Hardrock once upon a time--was seated at the drum set on the deck, wailing away. 

“Hi, Madame Couffaine!” Adrien yelled over the sound of the drums, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Is Luka around?”

Madame Couffaine pointed to the ship’s quarters with a drumstick.

Adrien kept his eyes on the checkered trim that bordered the walls of the ship as he passed through it. Over the deafening sound of the drums, his ears picked up a tinkling bass guitar melody. _Luka_.

Adrien steeled himself. After entering the yellow, arched doorway to Luka’s compartment, there was no turning back. No one could pretend that he hadn’t broken Luka and Marinette up. He girded himself with courage, and stepped through the door. 

Luka sat cross legged on the white blanket on his bed, tooling away at his instrument. Thankfully, Juleka was absent. Luka didn’t stop playing, his painted fingertips plucking the strings. He raised a brow. 

That was fine. Adrien didn’t expect a warm welcome, even weeks after the breakup.

“Luka,” Adrien said loudly, trying to be heard over the drumming.

“Adrien?” Luka said, just as loud. “What are you doing here?”

This was it. This was Adrien’s moment to repent. He had to take the plunge. 

And they were going to have this conversation with a soundtrack. _Fitting._

“I’m sorry,” Adrien said, without preamble, like Kagami used to do to him. “You were so angry, and it’s my fault, and…”

Luka’s lips twisted. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“What?” Adrien said, stunned. 

“I said,” Luka spoke, raising his voice over the drums, “you have nothing to apologize for. I should be the one apologizing.”

Adrien shifted on his feet. This conversation was not going the way he expected. Especially with the drumming. “Why?”

“Because,” Luka said, sad eyes flicking to his guitar, “you aren’t the one I should be angry at. I wasn’t in a relationship with you. You don’t control Marinette’s emotions and choices.”

Adrien’s heart beat in time with the drums. “Are you angry with her?”

Luka took his hand off his guitar and cupped his forehead. For a moment, he looked like he was weeping, overcome with bitterness.

The moment passed. Adrien couldn’t smell tears, so he was sure Luka hadn’t cried. But seeing his torn expression when he raised his head, Adrien still wondered if he had.

The drumming stopped.

“Not anymore,” Luka said quietly, and sighed. “There was always a chance that the relationship wouldn’t have worked out.” He picked up his guitar and started pressing some strings to the fretboard with his fingertips.

Luka looked like he could use a hug, but Adrien wasn’t that close to him. Especially not now.

Adrien grasped at the wind for a conversation topic. Floundering, he watched Luka half-heartedly pluck out chords. 

Adrien thought he recognized the song; the pattern was distinct: whole-step, half-step, whole-step, whole step, half-step, whole-step, whole-step.. Luka’s fingers danced over the strings, smoothly producing notes: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, A.… and again. 

He was playing the A natural minor scale. _Why that specific one?_

Adrien recalled what he knew about natural minor keys from his music classes. He remembered clinically that each minor key shares its key signature with a related minor, which was the 7 note scale beginning and ending on the 6th degree of any major scale. 

_A minor is the relative minor of C major,_ Adrien recited in his head. _It shares the same key signature with no sharps and flats._

C major, as described by Bob Dylan, was “the key of strength, but also the key of regret.”

 _Of course._ Luka always expressed himself through music. Knowing he was trying to tell him something, Adrien closed his eyes and listened to Luka’s scales.

In playing A minor, a relative of C major, Luka was saying his strength was gone. He was consumed with sorrow, but he had no regrets. Just as Adrien started to cry, Luka changed the scales to A major, the parallel to A minor.

This song was significantly less depressing. A major was known to be the key for declarations of innocent love, Adrien recalled, and the hope of seeing one’s beloved again while parting. 

Adrien’s heart ached for Luka, grieving for his loss.

The song trailed off. Adrien opened his teary eyes. “You really love her.”

“I do,” Luka said, setting his guitar aside and bringing his knees to his chest. He wrapped his arms around them. “But our song was disharmonious. We tried to play two opposite keys at the same time.” The tiniest of smiles tugged at his lips. “Maybe your song will be more pleasant to listen to.”

Adrien stared at him, stunned. _Is… Is he giving me his blessing?_

Adrien’s heart pounded. He held out a hand to Luka Couffaine, the boy whom Marinette still loved. “Friends?”

Luka’s teal-eyed gaze flicked to the hand. A chill spilled down Adrien’s back. What if Luka didn’t want to be his friend anymore? He was so inexperienced at friendship. He never knew what he was doing, and so often put his foot in his mouth. Adrien didn’t want to hurt his friends, but that’s all he seemed to do.

Luka took the hand, and gave it a firm shake, pumping it up and down once. When he spoke, his voice was quiet, with the deep pitch and mellow timbre that always made Adrien comfortable in the guitarist’s presence. “Friends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> petit mwen - Affectionate Creole phrase meaning "my child."
> 
> \---
> 
> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	28. Chapter 28

Adrien had thought that the two weeks waiting based on Kagami’s rules to not approach Marinette were the longest in his life. 

He was wrong.

Out of respect for Luka, and the desire to see Marinette completely healed from the messy breakup, Adrien decided to wait at least a month after apologizing to Luka before asking her out.

He was two weeks in--approaching a summer promising to be gloriously hot--and he felt like he was about to gnaw his own leg off. 

Spending time with Nino was great; video games and music with his friend were practically the only things that took the edge off. 

And Plagg was surprisingly sympathetic. 

“Be patient, Kid!” the kwami had said, whacking him on the head with a flipper. “She just broke up with her boyfriend. Do you really want to catch her on the rebound?”

“No, but--”

“Trust me, you don’t,” Plagg grumbled, folding his tiny arms. “Rebound relationships suck.”

Adrien blinked at him. “You’ve been in a rebound relationship?”

“I didn’t say _that_ ,” Plagg said, snorting. “I’ve just had a lot of kittens who have. And none of them turned out happy.”

Adrien wilted. “None of them?”

“Maybe one,” Plagg admitted. 

“Do you think I’m doing the right thing, Plagg?” Adrien asked, sitting on his bed and wrapping his arms around his knees. “Pursuing Marinette? And Ladybug?”

“You love her, don’t you?”

“More than anything,” Adrien said, nodding fervently.

“I think it’ll work out,” Plagg said, and then growled at him, “as long as you’re patient! Leave her the heck alone for a while! Let her breathe, for cheese’s sake!”

Adrien smiled. “Thanks, Plagg.” 

It didn’t help that Chat continued to visit Marinette’s bakery every Monday and Thursday, or that he ate dinner with Ladybug on the weekends, or that Marinette brought him lunch every Tuesday and Friday. He was exposed to her loving care every day of the week, except for Wednesday.

Wednesdays were lonely.

His New Stash of imperishable foods, much better managed than the Old Stash of rotten pastries and apples, tided him over on that day. He was still getting enough to eat. 

But there was nothing to do for the loneliness.

Which is why Adrien found himself doodling stick figures--some with pigtails, some with hair that he imagined was blond--in class on a Wednesday afternoon break.

He sighed, cupping his chin in his hands and singing La Mer under his breath. “The sea. That we see dancing along the clear gulfs with silver reflections... The sea...”

“Adrien?” Marinette said from behind him, and hope blossomed in his chest. His Lady wanted him!

He turned to her, using the shy smile Alya had told him Marinette would like. “Yes,” he said, his baritone voice zephyr-like as the words rolled off his tongue, “Marinette?”

She shivered. _Score one for Adrien!_ That he could have an effect on her, any kind of an effect, made him ridiculously happy.

“Why are you singing that song?” she asked, and he turned completely around in his chair, sitting backwards and folding his arms over the back. He rested his head on his arms with a dreamy smile as his eyes roamed over Marinette’s lovely face.

“It’s one of my favorites,” he said, sighing happily. He still had wonderful memories of dancing with her as Chat, the song rolling off their tongues as if they were meant to sing it together. Maybe he could give Marinette a breadcrumb. “My mother--” 

Vulnerability, always lurking, waiting to strike, abruptly made him stop speaking. The world shifted under his feet; even sitting, he felt dizzy. 

He didn’t know if he wanted to share this memory. He’d repressed memories of his mother for years now, and every time he remembered a little flash of her, he was caught flat-footed. But Marinette looked so open. So inviting. 

Adrien glanced around the classroom, making sure no one else would listen in. Nino and Alya were elsewhere; Chloe was chastising Sabrina, and Lila Rossi was telling a lie about a visiting dignitary giving her a bouquet of roses, with the rest of the class gathered around her.

He looked back to Marinette. “Take your time, Adrien,” she said, and gave him a reassuring smile.

Okay. He could do this.

“When I was little,” he started, but then his throat closed. He pressed on, choked up, “my mother would stroke my neck and back, and sing me that song, to put me to sleep, until I was thirteen or so.”

Marinette’s pretty mouth formed the shape of a small ‘o.’ She looked beautiful. Just like his mother.  
Adrien smelled the tears in his eyes before he felt them. The dam of memories, always leaky, broke open, spilling over him.

He remembered the firm pressure of Emilie’s touch, so warm and comforting. He remembered drifting off to sleep, lulled to dreamland by her beautiful alto. He remembered the way her golden hair would spill over her shoulder in a braid, the way her bangs would hang in her face as she leaned close to him. He remembered the sound of her laugh--cheery and lovely, just like her. 

He… He couldn’t remember her scent. 

_What… What did she smell like?_ Scent was so important to him, especially as Chat Noir. Panic washed over him like a riptide, threatening to pull him under.

He hadn’t remembered his mother in so long, he’d forgotten her scent. He’d forgotten her.

He felt like he was drowning. He couldn’t get enough air. Adrien’s vision blackened around the edges.

Marinette took his hand. “Adrien.” With her as an anchor, his vision cleared. He emerged from his fugue, seeing her eyes glimmering. He held fast to her hand, and she gripped both of his in one of hers. 

Her hands were strong, so strong, he thought. And so gentle. Calloused, in the way that someone who sews and writes and _creates_ as much as she did would be. And they were tiny, fitting just perfectly in his.

Finally, _finally,_ his tears started flowing down his face rather than just burning like embers in his eyes.

She wiped them away. “Thank you for sharing your memory with me.”

“Sure,” he choked out. “Thank you for being here for me when I freaked out. I didn’t… I didn’t expect it to hit me so strong.”

“What?” she said, and he sighed, closing his eyes.

“Missing her.”

“Oh, Adrien,” Marinette said, and cupped his cheek in one hand. He leaned into her comforting touch. “It’s alright to miss your mother.”

“I know,” he said, but he didn’t, not really. “I just… I don’t know.”

Marinette kissed his cheek. “I understand.”

He opened his eyes and gave her a watery smile. “Thank you.”

“Adrikins?” Chloe said, startling him by laying a hand on his shoulder. Wrapped up in his memories, he’d forgotten she was there, and didn’t notice her approach. Sabrina hovered behind her. “Are you all right?”

Marinette released him. He turned to Chloe and offered her a weak smile. “Yeah, I’m all right.”

She didn’t look convinced. “What’s wrong?”

“Just...” he said, wiping away a stray tear. “Remembering my mother.”

Chloe threw her arms around him. “Oh, _Adrien._ There, there,” she said, crushing his head against her breasts. _Soft,_ he thought, and nearly choked. She stroked his hair. “Let it all out.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Marinette laugh. “I think I already did,” he said, feeling the burn in his cheeks.

Chloe released him, but still gripped his shoulders as she searched his face. “You know I’m here for you, right?”

Adrien’s smile bloomed. “Thanks, Chlo.”

“We’re _all_ here for you, Adrien,” Lila said, slapping her hand down on his desk. He was startled again, having forgotten that she was present. Apparently he’d attracted the attention of the whole class. He couldn’t tell if Lila was about to lie or not; he’d never forgiven her for messing with Marinette.

Marinette glared up at Lila, but then turned to him with a gentle smile, love shining in his Lady’s eyes. “We are.”

Adrien sniffed. “Thanks, guys.”

***

Kagami thrust her sabre at his chest, and Adrien parried, knocking her hand into the air. As expected, she recovered with a vicious riposte, lunging at him. If Adrien had the time for a conscious thought, he would have admired her remarkable footwork. Acting on instinct and training, he parried once more. 

She executed a ruthless counter-parry. He counter-riposted. She retreated, backflipping off the floor, barely avoiding being stabbed with the blunted point of his sword. 

He stood, bouncing on the balls of his feet, one knee bent forward and his hips shifted towards her. She waited for him. He tested the waters, flipping the end of his sabre near her shoulder. She parried, and he counter-parried, leading to a counter-riposte.

They were getting nowhere. But the trip was still fun.

Grinning fiercely under his helmet, Adrien decided to try and take her by surprise. He spread his arms wide, holding his sword to his side and exposing his chest. 

As he expected, she lunged, pushing off the floor with her powerful thighs. But to him, she looked like she was moving in slow motion. 

Faster than he thought he could move, he jerked his arm up next to his face, elbow bent, turning to show her his shoulder. He slipped the tip of the sabre under the handle of hers, between her grip on it. Then he whipped his sword back, catching hers and flipping it up into the air. At the same time, he shoved his shoulder into her chest, knocking her over. 

Her sabre landed on the ground behind him with a clatter.

It was the move M. D’Argencourt liked to use on him. This was the first time Adrien was able to pull the maneuver off. He was surprised that their fencing teacher hadn’t pulled that one on her yet.

But none of that mattered.

Kagami had lost. He, Adrien, had _won_.

Sitting on the ground in the Dupont courtyard, she tilted her head at him. Then she laughed, a low sound.  
Adrien lifted his helmet and grinned at her. She lifted hers in turn, and to his utter delight, her coral lips were pulled up at the corners.

“You’re not distracted anymore,” she said. He offered her a hand up, and she took it. He pulled her to her feet rather than letting her use him as leverage. “You’ve found your target?”

“Yes,” he said, giddy from the victory--and how well her words rang true.

Kagami kissed him on the cheek, engendering a blush from him. “Good.”

He was the luckiest boy alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	29. Chapter 29

One day after Adrien had won the decisive fencing match against Kagami--something he was still giddy about--he vaulted through the streets of Paris as Chat. It was Thursday, the day after Adrien had also shared his memory of his mother with Marinette, and he was looking forward to seeing Ladybug on patrol--and then Marinette at the bakery--as Chat. 

Monday and Thursday at the bakery weren’t enough; he wanted to see her always, to fall asleep wrapped in her embrace, and wake up with her head on his collarbone. Plagg had called him a sap.

Chat refused to think about his father. Nathalie had scheduled a dinner with him last night, and even though Adrien had told himself not to get his hopes up, he was still disappointed when Gabriel canceled at the last minute.

Despite everything, Adrien still loved his father. After all, his father cared for him. Deeply. He’d told Marinette so, and he believed that. Nothing would shake his faith in that.

 _After all, it’s not like he’s Hawkmoth or anything,_ Chat thought, and then cursed himself for thinking of his father when Chat was so clearly bent on _not_ doing that.

As he helicoptered his way across the city, night vision flaring to life, he was by turns upset about dinner and giddy about going on patrol with Ladybug. The emotional whiplash would have given a headache to any normal person, but Chat considered himself excellent at compartmentalizing. He took his hurt feelings and packed them away in a tiny box inside his head. 

The only problem was, he didn’t notice that the box was too small. The badness kept leaking out.

But he wasn’t paying attention to that. Not at all. 

After all, today was a very special day: the anniversary of the day he'd met Ladybug. He’d bought chocolates for her--none coffee-flavored, just in case it reminded her of the time she’d kissed Adrien. He didn’t want to make her sad on their special day.

He’d also bought her a special surprise: an Eiffel Tower pendant on a delicate, silver chain. He had to ration his ATM withdrawals for weeks, two dollars here and three dollars there, explaining the purchases to Nathalie as gum. But his Ladybug was worth it.

He landed on their rooftop with a thump, smelling the coffee she’d brought--double chocolate espresso for her, black for him. She greeted him with a smile, and stood up from the chair she’d been sitting in. Placing the coffee cups on the nightstand they used as a table, she crossed to him, and squeezed his shoulder. His eyes flicked to the wooden surface; a gift wrapped in tissue paper rested there. In his night vision, the paper looked green. He knew the present was for him. 

Excitement sent a zing through his body.

“Hi, Chat.”

“Hi, Ladybug.” 

He placed his baton in its usual perch at the small of his back, and unzipped his pocket. “I have a present for you.”

Her eyes sparkled. “What’s the occasion?” She was playing with him, he knew. Ladybug never forgot their anniversary.

He captured her fingertips in his hand, bowing, and placed a kiss on her knuckles. “The day you stole my heart.”

“Chat!” she said, pulling her hand away. A green-looking blush blossomed on her cheeks, but she didn’t look away.

_So fur, so good._

Her next words were quiet and pensive. “I thought you’d given up on me.”

“What can I say?” he said, shrugging. “I’m a hopeless romantic.”

She smiled. “I have a present for you, too.”

“Ladybug, you shouldn’t have!” he said, eagerly holding his claws out for her gift.

Picking up the paper wrapped gift he’d laid his eyes on earlier, she offered it to him. He took the present and tore into it immediately, scattering the paper everywhere. She laughed.

“Ladybug,” he said, touched, as he ran his fingers over a pair of knitted black socks. He turned one over, seeing the shape of a day-glow green paw print sewn into the bottom. They really did look like a cat’s paws. “These are purrfect.” 

She smiled again. “My present?”

“So impatient,” Chat said, chuckling. Still holding the socks, he reached into one pocket and brought out the small bag of chocolates. He knew the bag was blue, but it still looked green to him. He reached into the other pocket, and retrieved the pendant, which he held hidden in one clawed fist. “Which would you like first?”

“The chocolates.”

“No fair, you weren’t supposed to know what they are.”

Ladybug laughed, wrinkling her nose. “I can smell them. Strawberry?”

Mock-grumbling, he handed them over. She slit the seal with her finger and opened the bag, pulling out a chocolate. She popped the treat into her mouth and chewed. She closed her eyes, an expression of utter bliss on her face. “Mmm.”

His blood ran hot. He was lucky she didn’t ask him a question; he’d have to stammer out the answer. She indulged in another one, groaning. He cleared his throat.

“So, um, I have another present for you!” he squeaked, voice cracking. His voice, which had recently started deepening from a baritone to a bass, hadn’t cracked in ages.

Chat thrust his clawed fist out. “Here,” he said. Tucking the chocolate bag under her arm, she held out her hands. He dropped the Eiffel Tower pendant into them.

Ladybug’s eyes lit up. She cradled the pendant, a pleased expression settling on her gorgeous features. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.”

“May I?” he said, holding out a clawed hand.

She nodded and pressed the necklace into his palm. He stepped behind her, unclasping the chain. Looping it around her neck, he leaned forward, inhaling the scent of her strawberry shampoo. _Mmm, strawberry and chocolate… Focus, Chat._

After shaking his mane out, he fastened the chain around his Lady’s neck, careful not to snag her hair. Giving into temptation, he brushed a claw through the short hairs at the nape of her neck. He thought he caught her shivering.

He placed his hands on her shoulders from behind and leaned his head over one, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Happy anniversary, Ladybug.”

“Happy anniversary, Chat.”

His admiration for her made him open his mouth and whisper into her ear. “You’ve grown so much, Ladybug. I’ve always been impressed with you, but the way you shoulder your burdens and keep soldiering on is remarkable.” He brushed her cheek with his lips again. “You’ve always been graceful and strong, but you’ve really come into your own.”

He couldn’t see her eyes, but he smelled the tears. “T-Thank you,” she choked out. “You’ve grown, too. You’re much more responsible and professional, now, and we’re better at fighting akumas than we’ve ever been. I count on you more than ever.”

Her validation of his worth, of their partnership, was all he ever wanted to hear. Chat loosely looped his arms around her, hugging her from behind. Her hands came up to clasp his arms. 

They stayed like that, in a comfortable embrace, for a long time.

***

After giving Ladybug enough time to get back home, Chat landed on the roof of the Dupain-Cheng bakery. The scent of freshly-baked bread was heavenly, and he gave a great inhale, filling his chest and belly with air. 

“Here I am, Chat Noir, come to see my Princess!” he sang out merrily. He was rewarded with Marinette popping the skylight open. _Hello! Again!_

“Chat!” she said. “You’re caterwauling.”

Chat slid down the roof and landed on the balcony, flipping his shortened baton to the small of his back as he did so. “Don’t ruin the mewment, Purrincess. I happen to be _quite_ the meow-sician.”

She rolled her eyes, chuckling. It was the best sound he’d ever heard.

“Come in, Chat Noir,” she said, ducking down onto the bed. He gladly followed. He’d follow her anywhere.

 _Time for Operation Kitty Love,_ he thought, hopping off the stairs. He bounced on the balls of his feet. He’d been preparing for this since Tuesday.

She sat down on the chaise longue. He noted with amusement that the pendant he’d given her was nowhere to be seen. Chat clasped his hands behind his back and leaned over her.

“Are you tired?” he asked, with a trademark Chat grin. Her brows rose. “Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.”

Her jaw dropped. “Chat.”

“Yesss?” he drawled, fluttering his eyelashes.

“That was _terrible_ ,” she said, eyeing him. “Did you get that off the internet?”

“That’s a classic, Purrincess!”

“It’s terrible.”

“How about this one: Can you take me to the bakery?” he asked, leaning over to press his hands to his knees. 

She gave him a skeptical look. “We’re at the bakery.”

“No, no, no, no,” Chat said, booping her nose with a clawed finger. “You’re supposed to say why.”

“I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”

“Absolutely pawsitively.”

She pressed her fingertips to her forehead, right above her nose. She looked like Alya in that moment, but he ignored that. “All right. Why?”

The answer burst from him with a laugh. “Because I want a cutie pie, and that’s you!”

Marinette answered with a full-body groan. She dropped her hands to her sides and threw her head back, exposing her neck. Chat was thrilled.

“I have baking puns, too,” he said, bouncing again. “For example, did you know that in life, love is all you knead?”

“Ohmigosh, _stop_!”

“As far as I can tell, we only have two options,” Chat said, smiling like the cat that had caught the canary, “all or muffin.”

She hit him in the shoulder with her pillow. He laughed, skedaddling backwards out of her reach, but she advanced on him. “Get back here, you mangy cat!”

“I honestly feel like this can be true loaf,” he said, dodging her attempts to smack some sense into him.

“Chat!”

“At yeast you’re in my thoughts all the time?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” she said, chasing him down, “but I miss the cat puns.”

“That’s great!” Chat said, catching the pillow as she swung it at his head, careful not to tear the fabric with his clawtips. “Does that mean you’re feline the connection between us?”

“I’m feline _something_ ,” she growled, and he giggled.

“Give me a chance! I can be pretty purrsuasive.”

Marinette tugged on the pillow, struggling against his super strength. He didn’t pull back very hard, to let her think she had a chance. “Why are you in such a good mood, anyway?” she said. “This is weird.”

Chat tugged on the pillow again, bringing her closer to him. “I can’t be in a good mood when I see my Purrincess?”

She yanked on the cloth bundle between them. He yanked back, and just as he did, she let go, unbalancing him. He tipped over and landed on his butt. “Meowch,” he said, blinking up at her.

Marinette crouched down next to him, and booped his nose back, resting her arm on her bent knees. “I guess you can be in a good mood. It’s just weird, because there’s been so much drama for so many months. I’m sort of shocked neither of us has been akumatized.”

“Right?” Chat said, dropping the pillow in his lap. He placed one palm on the ground behind him and leaned back on his arm. “I’m glad that hasn’t been the case. But I think we needed a night of puns to let loose.”

He hadn’t verbally played like this in such a long time. The pick up lines and jokes felt so good rolling off his tongue. “Besides,” he said, “your reactions have been purriceless.”

Marinette groaned again, and buried her face in his shoulder. He caught a smile on her face before she did. He wrapped his free arm around her and nuzzled his nose into her hair. _Mmm, double chocolate espresso scent…_

“Really, though,” he said, “I do want to be serious for a moment. How are you felin--feeling tonight?”

“’m fine,” she mumbled against his supersuit. Then she lifted her head. “No, I’m better than fine. I’m clawsome.”

Grinning, he turned his head and met her sparkling gaze. “Meownificent.”

“I think you mean clawful.”

Chat cracked up. He laughed long and hard, until tears leaked from his eyes. She giggled with him, and folded herself even closer to him, splaying one hand on his chest and resting her head on his shoulder. “Copycat. That was appawlling.”

She snorted, and then perked up. “Oh, that’s right, I have a present for you.”

Chat’s feline ears fluttered. “A present? You shouldn’t have!”

Marinette disengaged from him, standing up. He could swear the air was colder where she’d left him. She crossed to her desk--upon which he noticed sat the traditional assortment of Thursday night pastries--and opened a drawer. 

She returned to him with two small, circular pieces of black terry cloth. Each of them sported an embroidered paw print in day-glow green thread. He remembered seeing her work on them so many weeks ago. Then, like now, he couldn’t figure out what they were supposed to be.

“I’m touched,” he said, plucking them up from her grasp. “What are they?”

“Wristbands,” she said, and pulled one open with her thumbs. She slipped the wristbands over his clawed hands and settled them on his bony wrists, making sure the paw prints were face-up. 

“They’re very warm,” he said, smiling at her. “What’s the occasion?”

“Your anniversary,” she said, kissing his cheek, “of the day you became Chat Noir.”

Chat was stunned. She’d made him presents as Ladybug _and_ Marinette? He wished he could do the same for her. He vowed then that he’d make her his, so they could share all of each other.

“You’re so thoughtful,” he said, setting a clawed hand on the top of her head. “Thank you, Purrincess.”

“No,” she said, smiling, “thank _you_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	30. Chapter 30

After Adrien smoothed things over three weeks before with Luka, the guitarist had started inviting Adrien back to practice with Kitty Section. The group--sans Marinette--met as frequently as schedules aligned, which was no mean feat considering Gabriel’s death-grip on Adrien’s time.

Even though he saw Marinette every day at school as Adrien, and every night as Chat when he and Ladybug went on patrol, he missed his Lady. He wore his paw print socks every chance he could, something he could get away with because the prints were on the bottom.

Adrien sighed. Kitty Section practices weren’t as fun without Marinette there. The summer break was coming up, and he knew he’d have even _less_ time with her. The thought soured in his mouth.

He also knew he’d have to find more food, once she wasn’t feeding him second lunches at school on Tuesdays and Fridays. He’d have to increase the size of his New Stash.

Lost in his thoughts, Adrien crossed the docks in a daze on Saturday afternoon. But as the boy approached the Liberty, he caught sight of a blue-black head in pigtails. He smiled broadly. 

Marinette was there! 

She was chatting with Luka, and he said something which made her laugh brightly. Adrien’s heart soared to see them interacting pleasantly with each other again. 

Adrien hustled onto the boat, and gave _bisous_ to Rose, Mylene, and Juleka. Last, he giddily turned to Marinette, pressing his cheeks to hers in an air-kiss. He only had eyes for her, even as he said, “Hi, guys.”

“Hi!” the group--sans Marinette--said.

“Hello, Adrien,” Marinette said, flushing slightly. Her gorgeous, bluebell eyes were fixed on him, shining with admiration. Heat crept up his neck and formed a blush in his cheeks.

He reached out to take her hands. She looked like she wanted to hold his hands, too, reaching for him--but he stopped himself, and drew back. _It’s too soon._ She pulled away, disappointment etched onto her beautiful features.

Out of the corner of his eye, Adrien noticed Luka watching them with a raised brow and a slight smile. The guitarist strode over to Marinette and placed a hand on her shoulder. Hesitantly, Adrien stepped back. She turned her gaze to Luka, and beamed.

Luka leaned down to whisper something in her ear, so quietly that Adrien couldn’t catch it. Whatever the guitarist said made her throw her head back and chortle. “I knooooow,” she said, groaning in exasperation, burying her beautiful face in her hands. Luka squeezed her shoulder. His teal-blue eyes gleamed with love for her.

Adrien felt a curl of jealousy twist around his heart at their easy interaction. Realizing where his mind was going, he brutally stuffed the thought and forced a smile onto his face. _I should be happy for them. The perfect couple._

But, watching Marinette touch Luka’s cheek, Adrien couldn’t help but worry that they truly were getting back together, despite what Marinette had said earlier.

She’d told him--as Chat--that she loved him--as Adrien. Did she still? Had her affections changed back to Luka?

Adrien tried not to be sour over it. But he couldn’t help pursing his lips, as if he’d bitten into a lemon.

 _You’re being ridiculous,_ Adrien chastised himself, eyes flicking over the way Luka whispered in Marinette’s ear again.

She laughed once more, a bright, ringing sound. She kissed Luka’s cheek.

Heart heavy, Adrien turned to the keyboard. “So, um, shall we play?”

Luka straightened from his lean over Marinette. “Yeah, let’s play.”

Despite Adrien’s acidic mood, Kitty Section felt harmonious again. The music flowed through them. Rose shrieked the song, her voice an effective, guttural cry. Ivan wailed on Anarka’s drumset. Juleka and Luka strummed. Adrien’s strong hands flowed over the ivories. 

Hearing the group give it their all, and watching Mylene and Marinette applaud-- _for me_ , he thought--Adrien felt a bit better.

“Let’s take it from the top, guys,” Luka said. “A-one and a-two--”

Marinette’s phone dinged. She pulled it out of her pocket and checked her text messages. “Ah, I have to go. I promised Alya I’d do homework with her today, and I want to clean my room before she comes.”

Adrien wilted. He hadn’t gotten to spend any time with her at all. “You have to go, huh?”

She turned to him with a sad smile. “Yeah. But don’t worry, I’ll be back.”

Shouldering his guitar, Luka gave her a hug from the side. “We’ll miss you.”

“We will,” Adrien said, wishing he was the one to give her that affectionate embrace.

She flashed a peace sign, and left the boat. 

Luka turned to him, holding his guitar's fretboard in one hand. “Adrien. What are you doing?”

 _Not Luka, too,_ Adrien thought, sighing. “What do you mean?”

Luka’s answer surprised Adrien. “Go after her,” Luka said. “Chase her down. Ask her on a date.”

“It’s too soon,” Adrien said, watching her round the corner longingly.

“Are you kidding me?” Luka said, smiling in that mellow way of his. “Elle t'attend.”

She is waiting for you.

Luka continued. “Go after her,” he said, waving a hand.

“Yes!” Rose gushed, clasping her hands in front of her. “Go, Adrien!”

Juleka mumbled something he didn’t catch, but it sounded encouraging.

Ivan and Mylene nodded.

Adrien offered each of them a shy smile. “Thanks, guys.”

Then he left the keys, bolting after his Lady. 

Adrien caught up to her in the street next to a bakery--one he was sure wasn’t as good as her family’s. He was a little out of breath from running, so his words came out panted. “Marinette! Hey!”

She stopped and turned to him. Giving him a once-over, she smiled. “Hi, Adrien. What’s up?”

Now he had no idea what to say. He hadn’t planned ahead to this point. “Um,” he said, rubbing the back of his head. “I was just wondering…” His next words erupted in a quiet rush. “If you wanted! To get ice cream. With... With me?”

Her bluebell eyes crinkled at the corners. He thought they sparkled. “Sure. I have some time.”  
His heart sang. 

This time, finding Andre was easy. He stood under the Arc de Triomphe, peddling his wares to the lovebirds of Paris. He brightened when he saw them approach. “Ah, Adrien, and dear Marinette!” he said with a broad smile. “Can I offer you a cone?”

Daring to be great, Adrien took Marinette’s hand. She squeezed his fingers. “Hi, Andre,” he said. “Yes, please, a single cone.”

Marinette chuckled. Adrien looked at her. “That’s all right, isn’t it?” he asked. His heart exploded when she smiled and nodded.

“A very special cone for a very special couple, then!” Andre said, and began scooping out their ice cream. “Blackberry and peppermint, a surprising combination, refreshing for the tongue and the heart!”

Adrien pulled out his wallet, but Andre stopped him. “On the house!”

“Thanks, Andre!” they both said.

Marinette took the proffered cone with its two small, wooden spoons, and dragged Adrien away, to go sit on the steps across the street from the Arc. He gladly followed, and sat down beside her.

 _I’m doing it. This is actually happening,_ Adrien thought, giddy. _I’m on a date with Marinette!_ He couldn’t stop gazing at her.

He hoped he didn't put her off by his bad habit. After the effects of the starvation had grown really bad, Adrien's eating patterns had changed. He no longer took his time eating; he shoved food into his mouth as fast as he could, eating as if the food was going to run away from him. Eating slowly took a conscious effort. 

Adrien vowed not to scarf down the ice cream due to anxiety. Marinette deserved better.

“So, Adrien,” she said, after plucking up one of the spoons. She took a bite of the sweet, cold treat. “How are you?”

“I’m good!” he squeaked. He still couldn’t believe she had chosen to be here, with him of all people. He was beyond thrilled. “Et toi?”

“I’m well,” she answered, scooping up some ice cream with her spoon. Looking at him from under her lashes, she offered the bite to him.

_Is this… Is this an indirect kiss?_

Shyly, he closed his mouth around her spoon. The blueberry flavor exploded on his tongue. It was the sweetest fruit he’d ever tasted. Keeping his eyes on her, he let go of the wooden utensil. “Mmm.”

Cupid-pink coloring dusted her cheeks. She grinned at him. 

“So, um,” he said, finally picking up his own spoon, “what do you think of Chat Noir?”

That wasn’t the question he expected to ask. He’d wanted to get her thoughts on his alternate persona for some time now, but he didn’t think he’d be so bold as to actually ask her. He nearly facepalmed.

Marinette’s expression betrayed her confusion. “Chat Noir? He’s okay, I guess.”

The answer destroyed him. _Just okay?_

But she wasn’t done. “I mean, he can be ridiculous,” she said, stabbing him right through the heart. She stared off into the middle distance, ice cream forgotten. “But he’s compassionate and thoughtful. He puts others before himself, even when he’s hurting. He’s warmhearted. And handsome.”

 _She thinks I’m handsome?_ Adrien thought. He could swear he felt his feline ears perk up. He offered her a Chat-tastic grin. “Handsome?”

She turned red from her neck to her roots and took a hasty bite of ice cream. “I mean… Yes? Yes, he’s very handsome, but not in the way _you’re_ handsome, which of course you are, but that’s because you’re a f-famous model, and of _course_ models are handsome, they kind of have to be because that’s their job, hahahaha!”

Adrien gave her a dopey smile. “I think he’d be very pleased to hear that.”

She snorted. “I’m sure he would.”

He laughed. He couldn’t help it. His emotions had been all over the place today, and laughing felt wonderful.

Marinette giggled with him. “What’s so funny?”

“You are,” Adrien said, beaming at her. She had a little smear of ice cream on the corner of her lip, and he kissed it away.

She squeaked. 

The almost-summer sun shone down on them, and Adrien luxuriated in the warmth. He was so comfortable, he was tempted to curl up in the sun puddle--or Marinette’s lap--and fall asleep. 

Hand trembling, she offered him another bite of ice cream from her spoon, which he gladly took. “Thank you.”

“No,” she said, making his heart happy with the way she was smiling at him. “Thank _you_.”

“We should do this again sometime,” Adrien said, licking ice cream off his lip. “Say, Wednesday?”

“It's a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	31. Chapter 31

Chat was in heaven.

Not only had Adrien had a wonderful repeat of their Saturday ice cream date with Marinette on Wednesday, ebbing away some of the intrinsic loneliness of the middle of the week, Chat visited her the very next day at the bakery.

And somehow found himself with his head in her lap, homework abandoned, with her stroking his feline ears. He didn’t know how he and she had gotten to this point, but he wouldn’t trade the time away for anything in the world. If someone had offered him the Hope Diamond for a single, solitary minute with Marinette, Chat would have told them, “No, thanks, I’m good.” 

She ran her finger and thumb along the edge of his feline ear, and he shivered. She seemed fascinated with how they flicked involuntarily at her touch, moving on their own, and had been playing with them for the past ten glorious minutes.

“They’re so cute,” she murmured into his ear, sending a thrill through him. “Can they hear?”

“Yes,” he purred, his voice coming out huskier than he intended.

“In stereo?” Marinette said, gently pinching the tip and rubbing it between her thumb and index finger. “Can you hear double, from your human ears and your feline ears?”

“It doesn’t work like that,” Chat said, biting back a groan, “for some reason. I don’t know why.”

“But you can hear better.”

“Yes, much. They’re very sensitive.”

Her response was drier than dust. “In a lot of ways.” She gently stroked the back of the ear she’d been playing with using the backs of her fingers.

Chat arched his back slightly, almost yowling. What was she _doing_ to him? Her touch was so pleasurable, he saw stars behind his closed eyelids.

Marinette seemed to sense that he was tipping over a cliff, and withdrew her hand. He mewled, and pushed his head back into her hand in an implicit demand for comfort. 

She laughed at him. Both of her hands plunged into his blond mane, her fingertips moving in small circles across his scalp. Her blunt nails felt deliciously good on his skin and behind his ears.

Melting into a puddle of Chat, he purred deep in his chest. He couldn’t be happier.

An akuma alert sounded on his baton, jarring him. _Now? Really?_ Chat groaned. 

“I dun wanna,” he complained pitifully, but lifted his head anyway. He glanced down at his wristbands.

“You have to,” Marinette said, not without sympathy. 

“I know,” he grumped, reluctantly pushing himself off her lap. He sat up on the chaise longue and looked at her serene face. “Can I take a raincheck and come back after?”

“Depends on how long beating the akuma takes. You might be out there all night.”

Chat stuffed his impulse to whine about how unfair that Hawkmoth would do this to him, him personally. That Hawkmoth even _existed_ was unfair, but Chat knew deep down that if the supervillain didn’t exist, Chat wouldn’t be Chat.

“Go, Chat,” Marinette said.

He went, knowing his Lady wouldn’t be too far behind. That was his only consolation, that he’d be able to spend time with Marinette in her disguise as Ladybug.

Marinette’s statement was prophetic: beating the akuma took all night. He had to recharge thrice, annoying Plagg and himself. Just as he used his last Cataclysm--he’d run out of cheese, so that one was definitely the last one--to free himself from a giant, suffocating marshmallow, Ladybug outsmarted the akuma with her Lucky Charm--a hammock--and smashed the offending necklace with her yo-yo. 

“Time to de-evilize!” she said, catching the akuma. She released it with an exhausted, “bye-bye, little butterfly.”

Chat leaned against the base of the Eiffel Tower, sweat dripping into his masked eyes. He wheezed; some marshmallow dust had gotten into his lungs. He let loose a painful, hacking cough from deep in his chest. He wouldn’t be surprised if a hairball came out of his mouth. Eyes watering, he looked round for his Lady, but she was already hurling her Lucky Charm into the air.

“Miraculous Ladybug!” she called, voice powerful and strong, summoning the magic spell.

Her millions of tiny, glowing helpers flowed around the city, righting the extensive damage. Chat was the last to be refreshed. He was grateful they'd helped him. He’d missed breathing.

He straightened from the wall, still bone-weary. His Lady’s helpers had cleared his lungs, but they didn’t do anything for his tiredness. They never did.

Ladybug was already comforting the akumatized victim, a confectioner whose young daughter had recently died. Chat held off on approaching, not sure he’d be able to handle that kind of grief. 

He wanted to catch his Lady, to apologize for not being able to come back to the bakery, but he knew it wasn’t appropriate. She had to bug out before his ring chirped for the last time.  
Reluctantly, he left her.

Collapsing into bed and detransforming as he fell, he was asleep before Plagg phased out of his shirt.

***

Adrien’s alarm sounded. He cracked a bloodshot eye open and stared at his clock. He’d only slept for two and a half hours after fighting the giant-marshmallow-shooting akuma the night before. Lying on his belly, he sleepily catalogued the full-body muscle aches and stiffness.

He moaned, closing his eye. He felt like his eyelids were full of sand. They were so heavy. A little nap wouldn’t hurt, he decided. He could easily go back to sleep. And maybe return to that lovely dream of bluebell eyes… 

No! He had to get up! It was Friday, the day Marinette would bring him lunch at school.

School! His eyes shot open. He was going to be late. He couldn’t be late.

But his eyelids were so, so heavy...

Soon, he was snoring. 

Plagg woke him up with a rhythmic slapping on his cheek.

“Wake up, Kid,” Plagg said. “Your girlfriend will miss you.”

“Not my girlfriend, Plagg...” Adrien trailed off, drifting to sleep again.

He could have sworn he was only out for a minute when he heard Nathalie knock on the door and enter. “Adrien?”

“Yeah?” he said, raising his weary head. 

“It’s time to go to school. Why are you sleeping fully dressed?”

“Wha?” Adrien said, craning his neck to look down at his clothes. He was even wearing his tennis shoes. And, he remembered, his paw print socks. He rolled over, sat up, and stretched. “Sorry, Nathalie, I stayed up late reading and fell asleep this way.”

Nathalie’s lips pressed together, briefly and subtly. “You shouldn’t do that, Adrien. Here, your schedule.”

He took the table from her, and yawned. “Thanks, Nathalie. I’ll get a shower and head to school.”

She inclined her head and left the room.

Adrien scrubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand and read the schedule. _Photoshoot with Lila today. Great._

He yawned again.

“Told you to get up,” Plagg said from inside his shirt. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Adrien grumped.

The shower was blisteringly hot and not nearly long enough. It woke him up enough to make his way out to the sedan, but he fell asleep in the back seat on the way to school. Nathalie gently shook him awake when they arrived. He couldn’t face her disapproving eye, so he ducked out of the car and shuffled up the steps to Dupont.

Marinette looked as tired as he felt. He squeezed her shoulder and went to take his seat. “You okay?” he said, knowing she wasn’t.

“Yeah,” she mumbled. 

Alya whistled at the two of them. “Girl, you are _not_ okay.”

“I knooooow,” Marinette said, groaning. Her eyebags had eyebags. “How are you, Adrien?”

“I could use a catnap.”

She laughed.

The rest of the school day passed in a blur. The only highlight was devouring the ravioli with meat sauce Marinette had brought for lunch. Alya sat with them this time, and she and Marinette carried on a sleepy conversation. 

Adrien found himself absolutely famished. He scarfed down his cheesy noodles as quickly as usual and started eyeing Marinette’s serving.

She caught his gaze and wrinkled her nose at him. “Mine,” she said, tugging the Tupperware closer to her.

Adrien gave her a Chat-tastic smirk. “I wouldn’t dream of it, My Lady.”

She blanched. “My Lady?”

 _That was a mistake,_ Adrien thought muzzily. “Yeah,” he said, coughing into his fist. “You’re a lady, aren’t you?”

“Am I your Lady?”

Adrien blinked at her. _What a question._ He lowered his head, bringing them nose to nose. “I don’t know,” he said, smoother than he thought he could, and slightly husky. “Would you like to be?”

Marinette’s brows rose, but before she could say anything, Alya shrieked. “I should have gotten that on video!”

Adrien winced. He’d forgotten Alya was there. He fixed her with a frustrated look. _I thought you were supposed to be helping?_

“Alya!” Marinette cried, burying her flushed face in her hands.

Adrien looked around the classroom, grateful that the three of them were the only students present. He leaned towards Marinette again, whispering in her ear. “Are we still on for Wednesday’s date?”

Alya shrieked again. “You two are dating!?” 

“Yes,” Adrien said, at the same time that Marinette said, “No! Maybe!”

Adrien stared at Marinette. Marinette stared at Adrien. Alya whipped her head back and forth, looking between the two of them with bated breath.

“Maybe?” he said weakly.

“A-A firm maybe,” Marinette said, pressing her hands to her scarlet cheeks.

Adrien had known she wasn’t ready when he asked her out to ice cream the first time. He shouldn’t have pushed. He cursed himself. Now he was a firm maybe, uncertain of where he and Marinette stood.

“Okay,” he said.

It was decidedly _not_ okay. But he decided to make peace with it. He’d try, at least. That was all he _could_ do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	32. Chapter 32

It was undeniable. Adrien was _sick_. 

Six days after Marinette had told him they were a firm maybe, he’d caught a cold. The illness was the last gasp of spring, and he was looking forward to the heat that summer would bring. 

Nathalie allowed him to beg off both school and his photoshoot--without Lila that time--that day, and rest in bed. Covers pulled up to Adrien’s chin, he blew his nose with the last of his tissues just before 9pm. Sniffling miserably, he crumpled the Kleenex and tossed it onto the floor, where it joined its fellows. He swallowed snot, feeling it coat his sore throat.

“Guh,” he said to Plagg, eloquently. 

“You’ll be fine,” Plagg said in his squeaky voice.

“Upper respiratory infections suck,” Adrien whined.

“I wouldn’t know,” the kwami said, with a toothy smirk. “Never been sick.”

Eyelids feeling heavy, Adrien blinked at him. “Never?”

“Not with a cold,” Plagg said, shrugging. “And the Guardians would always heal us if we did come down with something.”

Adrien frowned. Ladybug was the Guardian now. He wondered if Master Fu had taught her how to heal a sick kwami. “Plagg, does Ladybug know how to heal kwamis?”

Plagg looked thrown. “I… I don’t know.”

“What do we do if she doesn’t?”

“Hope we never get sick.”

Adrien’s phone chirped an alarm at him. He picked it up and stared in disbelief at the time. “Plagg!” he said, and immediately dissolved into a hacking cough. Once he recovered, he showed Plagg the clock. “I’m going to miss patrol!” 

“Oh, no you don’t,” Plagg grumbled. “You’re going to stay right here and rest. You’re sick, Adrien!”

The alarm was still beeping. Adrien turned it off. “But I can’t miss Ladybug.”

“You’re not only going to miss Ladybug, you’re going to miss your Thursday night visit with Marinette! You’re staying here!” Plagg said, waving his tiny, black arms.

Adrien stared at him, sniffling. “It’s Thursday?”

“Adrien--”

“Claws out!” Adrien thrust his ring out, forcing Plagg to spiral inside over his vehement objections. The transformation washed over the boy, leaving Chat in his place. Feeling guilty for doing exactly what his kwami didn’t want him to do, Chat climbed out of bed.

And nearly fell over. Lightheaded, he staggered to the side, catching himself with a hand on his mattress. Snot dripped from his runny nose onto his sheets. He wiped his nose with the back of his leather-suited wrist.

He crossed to the window, pulling his baton out from behind his back. _Here I come, Ladybug._

Vaulting across the city took twice as long as usual. Chat had to pause to lean up against his baton and regain his bearings. He could almost hear Plagg chastise him. 

He landed with a heavy thud on his and Ladybug’s rooftop. He saw her in his night vision, holding coffee--double chocolate espresso for her, black for him. 

He smiled at her, wavering on his feet. Then he sneezed.

Ladybug immediately set the to-go cups down on the nightstand. “Chat! What happened?”

“I hab a cold,” he rasped, leaning on his baton.

Ladybug’s response was less than enthusiastic. “What are you doing here? If Hawkmoth throws an akuma, you’ll be useless!”

“I have to patrol--”

“No!” Ladybug said. She cupped his cheeks and pressed her lips to his forehead. “Chat, you have a fever. You need to go home.” 

“I can’t. I purromised a friend I’d visit her tonight,” he said. “We have a standing date, and if I don’t show, she’ll be worried.”

Ladybug’s gaze softened. “You’re in no condition to visit a friend.”

“I should at least let her know that I’m coming--”

“No!” Ladybug said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Go home, Chat. She’d probably tell you the same thing.”

He shook his head, which set off another wave of dizziness. “I know she would. But I want to see her.”

Ladybug frowned. “You’re going anyway, aren’t you?”

“Pawsitively.”

Her frown deepened. Anger blazed in her eyes. “Maybe she’ll make you see sense.”

“Doubtful. I’m pretty stubborn,” Chat said, shrugging helplessly. 

“I know you are, Kitty,” Ladybug said, glaring at him. “Well, go on then, before I change my mind and take you home myself.”

Chat let out a wet, raspy laugh. “You don’t know where I live.”

Ladybug pointed off the roof. “Go.”

He went.

Chat intentionally took his time getting to the bakery, to give Ladybug enough time to get home. He pole-vaulted around in the opposite direction for a while, just to give her a head start. 

When he arrived on the bakery’s roof with a thump, he realized that he couldn’t smell the usual aroma of freshly-baked bread wafting from the chimney through his blocked nose. He sulked.

Marinette opened the skylight immediately. “Hi, Chat,” she said, and then her eyes widened as she looked him over. “What’s wrong?”

Not for the first time, Chat admired her acting ability. She was an expert at pretending confusion, putting up a false front and not letting anyone around her know of her secret knowledge. There was no sign of Ladybug’s anger.

He smiled down at her and slid down the bakery’s chimney with one hand. “I hab a cold,” he said, shivering with a sudden chill. He wiped slimy sweat off his brow.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, climbing up onto the balcony with him. She kissed his forehead. “You have a fever! You’re in no condition to visit me. Go home.”

Chat swayed on his feet. “I will. When I’m able to vault across the city again. I’m a bit… lightheaded.”

“You foolish cat,” Marinette said, and he couldn’t tell from her expression if she was sympathetic to his plight or mad at him. 

_Probably both,_ he thought, ruefully.

Marinette sighed. She pressed her fingertips to her forehead, just above her nose, a gesture Chat knew she’d picked up from Alya. “Come in, then,” she said, apparently giving up. “But only for a few minutes.”

Grinning weakly, Chat followed her into her room. Their usual assortment of pastries rested on her desk. Chat wasn’t sure if he’d be able to eat much that night, but he decided to try.  
Marinette paced around her room. “Sit down,” she said, pointing to her chaise longue. “I’ll not have you fainting on me again.”

 _For a third time, you mean?_ Chat almost said. He barely stopped himself in time. Obediently, he slowly collapsed onto the reclining chair. Leaning his head against the wall, he closed his eyes, shutting out her disappointed expression. 

“Sorry,” he said, guilt for bothering her washing over him. “I probably should have stayed home.”

“You should have,” Marinette said, a little gruffly. He felt her press a kiss to his forehead again, and opened his eyes. She was glaring at him. “But since you’re here, let me make you some tea and broth.”

He held up his clawed hands. “You don’t have to do that--”

“I insist.”

Chat didn’t know why her care surprised him. That’s what he wanted, wasn’t it? To have her nurse him back to health? Shame blossomed in his clammy cheeks. He never should have made implicit demands for comfort. 

He should have listened to Ladybug.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, looking away.

“What for?” Marinette said, already turning away towards the trap door. 

“I should have listened to you. I should have gone home.”

Marinette gave him a sharp look. Then she nodded. “There’s nothing for it now. You’ll go home after you drink some broth. Be right back.”

She took a long time to return. He wondered if she was working through her anger at him. He swallowed snot again.

When she came back, she held two steaming mugs; Chat could barely smell both bone broth and chamomile tea. He gratefully took the hot, salty liquid from her and sipped it. “That’s delicious,” he said, smacking his lips. “Thank you.”

She pulled her desk chair over to the chaise longue and sat. That she wasn’t curling up next to him on the reclining seat was a bad sign, Chat thought. He wondered how long she’d hold a grudge for this.

He was so stupid.

Downing the broth in two gulps, Chat scalded his sore throat. He winced. 

Marinette, staring at him, paid no attention to the wince. She took the empty mug from him and offered him the tea.

“Thanks,” he rasped, and sneezed again before taking the tea. 

_This is not as romantic as I thought it would be._

Surprisingly, her gaze on him softened. Relief and foolish hope bloomed in his chest. “Are you feeling any better?” she asked, pressing the back of her hand to his forehead.

“Much,” he said, sniffling.

“That’s good,” Marinette said, sitting back. Then she leaned forward again, and took his chin into her hand. “You had me worried.”

“Sorry,” Chat said again. He sniffed and looked to his feet, but she cleared her throat, drawing his attention again.

“I care about you, Chat,” she said, her gorgeous, bluebell eyes filled with concern. “I love you.”

 _As a friend?_ he wondered. _Or… something more?_

As he was lost in thought, she continued speaking. “I’m sorry you’re sick. That always sucks. But you can’t stay here tonight. You need to go home, and rest.” She released his chin.

Chat closed his heavy eyes. “Yeah,” he said. He opened them, and drained his mug of tea. “Thanks, Purrincess. I’m feeling much better.”

“Really?”

“Really, really,” he said, offering her a small smile. “I’ll get out of your hair now.”

She took the mug from him and set it aside on the floor. “Feel better, Chat. Take care.”

“I will,” he said, standing from the chaise longue. “You, too.” He unhooked his baton from the small of his back and started turning away, but she stopped him with a hand on his. He glanced over his shoulder.

“I love you, Chat,” Marinette said again. “You’re my friend.”

Chat sighed. “I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	33. Chapter 33

Thanks to Marinette’s nursing him back to health, Chat recovered from his cold by the next day. She seemed a little annoyed with everything during school, but he didn’t pressure her with questions about why. Eventually, she calmed down, and they were a firm maybe again.

The next Wednesday, Adrien found himself elbows deep in flour, thoroughly enjoying it. He was on a “working date” with Marinette, helping her bake three dozen cinnamon rolls as big as his head--two dozen for a customer’s order, one for the family--while her parents took the day off.

He hadn’t told his father he was here, pretending instead to have an extra Chinese lesson. Adrien had the distinct feeling that Gabriel disapproved of Marinette, though the boy was hard-pressed to put his finger on why. 

Adrien knew he’d have to tell his father that he and Marinette were dating. Or at least a firm maybe. And soon. Having his father approve of his choice was important to Adrien, for reasons he hadn’t yet explored. 

As if spending time with her weren’t incentive enough, Marinette had promised to split one of the rolls with Adrien after they were finished. He watched some yeast bubble in its bowl of warm milk for their third batch.

Adrien stole a glance at his “firm maybe” date. As Marinette kneaded the tacky dough of their second batch with her flour-dusted hands, she stuck the tip of her tongue out of the corner of her lip. She grunted, working the dough into something more pliable. Her hair was coming out of its pigtails a little bit. She had a splotch of batter on her cheek where he’d playfully smeared it with his thumb.

Adrien thought she’d never looked more beautiful.

He leaned on the counter of the warm bakery on his elbows, cupping his smooth chin in his hands and watching her rather than the yeast. 

Eventually, she finished kneading the dough, and blinked up at him. “What?” she said, and then smiled wickedly. “Is there something on my face?”

He burst out laughing.

After the yeast proofed, he added melted butter, salt, and sugar to the frothy mixture and stirred. He checked the recipe twice. He'd never baked before, and he wanted to do the job right.

Marinette handed him a couple of eggs to crack into the batter. She’d brought the eggs to room temperature by soaking them in a glass of warm water, a trick he’d never heard of before. “If all the ingredients are warm,” she’d explained, dropping them into the glass, "then the rolls will rise better.”

He tapped the eggs on the side of the bowl one by one and separated the shells from the whites and yolks. “So, Marinette,” he said, as he whipped the yellow batter, “what do you think of Ladybug?” 

She was rolling out the cinnamon rolls from their first batch. At his question, she jerked, nearly dropping the rolling pin on the flour-covered floor. 

Adrien had thought he was pretty slick to ask her what she thought of her alter-ego, but the way she was reacting made him reconsider his approach. He’d already heard what she thought about Chat Noir--handsome, he recalled, with a small smile on his face--and he burned with curiosity about what she thought about herself. 

But the way she was reacting...

“L-Ladybug?” she said, accidentally flattening the dough by smashing the pin on it too hard. She swallowed. “She’s okay, I guess.”

It was the same answer she'd given about Chat.

“Just okay?” Adrien said, checking her parents’ recipe to ensure he was adding the right amount of flour. He started stirring the ingredients, making sure to stop after they were just barely combined. He didn’t want the rolls to be too tough, as Marinette had told him about earlier.

“Well, yeah, I mean… Everyone loves her, right?” Marientte said, not looking at him. “I… She can’t ever mess up. Which she has, a lot.”

“What do you mean?”

Marinette huffed. She picked up the pace of her rolling. “She got Chloe Bourgeois akumatized. Ladybug neglected her, which led to her becoming Miracle Queen and taking control of the entire city.” 

Adrien frowned. “That wasn’t Ladybug’s fault. Chloe _chose_ to be akumatized. And Hawkmoth was the one who akumatized her, and brought all the akumas in the first place. I think you’re laying the blame at the wrong feet.” 

“Ladybug still failed Chloe.”

“Do you want to know what I think?” Adrien said, setting his wooden spoon aside. 

She still wasn’t looking at him, continuing to flatten the dough against the counter. “What?”

“I think Ladybug is under a lot of pressure,” he said, leaning on the counter again. “It’s unfair to her. She doesn’t let anyone help her, not even Chat Noir.”

“See?” Marinette said. “She’s failed him, too. Not letting him help is probably unfair to him, I-- _she_ knows, but she can’t burden him with her problems.”

Adrien gently lobbed her words back at her. “Asking for help isn’t a weakness, Marinette.”

“I know,” Marinatte said, shoulders sagging. She stopped rolling for a moment. Then she jerked back into action. “I mean, she knows that. I’m sure she does. But what if her problems are something no one else can solve?”

“Chat Noir can still support her,” Adrien said, getting back to work. He sprayed another large, glass bowl with cooking spray, and transferred the dough over to rise. “He’s her partner. He wants to help.”

Marinette stiffened. She closed her eyes and drew a breath through her nose. “I’m sure he does.”

“Marinette,” Adrien said, coming up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, tugging them against his chest. She leaned into his embrace. “Am I upsetting you?”

“No,” she said, and he could tell she was lying from the tremble in her arms. He smelled salt.

He leaned his chin on her shoulder, pressing them cheek-to-cheek. “I’m sorry,” he said gently. “I didn’t mean to press you. I’ve been really unfair.”

She brought her floured hands up to clasp his wrists. They felt naked without his wristbands, but he could only wear those as Chat Noir. 

“It’s okay,” she said, exhaling slowly. “I just… I feel for Ladybug, you know? She carries the safety of the whole city on her shoulders. And sometimes, I can imagine that’s just too much of a burden to bear.” 

_And now she’s the Guardian of the Miraculous, too,_ Adrien thought, feeling as rotten as an apple in his Old Stash. 

“She doesn’t have to carry it alone,” he insisted. 

“She’s the one who comes up with all the plans,” Marinette said, breaking away from him. “She’s the de facto leader. The mental load of that kind of responsibility is heavy for her.”

Adrien stared at his hands. “Are you saying Chat Noir is useless?”

Marinette gasped. She turned to him, pain in her eyes. “Not at all,” she said. “He’s essential to Ladybug’s plans. She couldn’t fight akumas without him. She wouldn’t _want_ to fight without him.”

Marinette stepped to Adrien, cupping his cheek with her hand and staring into his eyes. She pressed her chest to his. “Ladybug has almost given up, you know. So many times. But Chat Noir… He keeps her going. She likes spending time with him so much, that makes everything worth it.”

“I didn’t know that,” Adrien said, feeling his breathing tick up at her proximity--and praise. 

“At least,” she said slowly, “that’s what I would think if I were her.”

“Of course,” Adrien said, just as slowly.

“You really do love her, don’t you?” Marinette said, surprising him yet again.

“I do,” Adrien said, feeling hot under the collar. He licked his lips, and stared down at Marinette’s. 

_Can I kiss her now? Would she want me to?_

Her head was tilted up towards him. She was staring deep into his eyes, and idly playing with his popped collar. He felt a flush building as she accidentally brushed the skin of his neck with her flour-dusted fingertips. 

Just as he was about to go for the gold and kiss her, Marinette pulled away. “We’ve got to get these rolls in the oven.”

Able to breathe properly again, Adrien felt lightheaded. “Uh,” he said, eloquently. “Sure. Sure.” He swallowed. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”

“Are you okay?” she asked, still standing close to him.

Too close. Not close enough. Adrien couldn’t make up his mind. 

When he didn’t say anything, she continued. “You look flushed. Do you have a fever?”

“No,” Adrien said, pressing a hand to his own head. “I don’t think so.”

He felt Plagg vibrating in his shirt. He knew his kwami would tell him to be honest. He decided to take the phantom advice.

“Marinette,” Adrien said, his tongue thick in his mouth. “I’m fine. I just…” He swallowed. Then he offered her a shy smile, the one Alya said would make her melt. He didn’t have to act; he really was feeling shy. “I really want to kiss you.”

Her pretty mouth formed a little ‘o’ as she stared up at him. She stepped forward, and placed her hands on his chest. “Okay.”

“Okay? Okay!” Adrien said, suddenly nervous. “Okay.” It wasn’t as if he’d never kissed anyone on the lips before--he’d kissed Kagami, after all, though he’d never gotten the hang of tongue-kissing--but this was _Marinette._ Ladybug. The love of his life. 

He gently set his hands on Marinette’s shoulders. He hoped his palms didn’t sweat right through her jacket. Drawing a couple of steadying breaths, he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers.

She responded tentatively. This kiss was nothing like the one he shared with Ladybug; then, they were frantic, devouring each other. This was an exploration, a meeting of two equals. Adrien glided his lips slowly across Marinette’s, and she matched his pace.

Experimentally, he tilted his head, aiming for a different angle. Marinette tilted in the opposite direction, and Adrien found he liked this new slant even better. His hands came up to cup her soft cheeks. Her mouth moved against his in ways that curled his toes.

Growing more confident, he snuck his tongue out between his lips and licked hers. She gasped, and pulled back. The yellow batter on her cheek stood out starkly against her reddened skin.

“Sorry,” he said, out of breath. 

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I liked it. I just… didn’t expect it.”

“The kiss?” Adrien asked, furrowing his brow. “Or my tongue?”

“Both?” Marinette said, holding her hands helplessly in front of her. 

Adrien stepped forward, taking her hand in his and brushing his lips against her knuckles. “Does this mean we’re dating?”

She looked conflicted. “We’re… still a firm maybe, I think. Sorry.”

“Okay,” Adrien said. He half-expected that to be her answer, so unlike the last time, he wasn’t caught flat-footed.

 _I love you, Marinette_ , he wanted to say to her. But he knew she wasn’t ready to hear him say those words yet. _With all of my heart._

She tucked her hair behind her ear. “W-We need to get back to the rolls.”

“Oh, right,” Adrien said, rubbing his cheek. “I’d, um, forgotten about those.”

She laughed.

As she dusted cinnamon and sugar on her _very_ flat dough, he checked on his own dough. It had risen significantly, but still wasn’t done, so he contented himself with helping Marinette roll up and slice the cinnamon rolls in the first batch. 

He was bold enough to stand behind her and close his hand over hers as she held the knife. His other hand rested on her waist. Flushing and stammering at each other's closeness, they carved the dough into twelve giant rolls and placed them into two 9x13 casserole dishes.

Marinette eventually broke away from him, seeming reluctant to do so, to cover the rolls and set them aside to rise. She began warming some heavy cream over the stove. By then, his dough had risen, so he rolled it out.

They worked efficiently after that, chatting about any topic that came to mind. The conversation flowed stiffly at first, but loosened up as they relaxed into the work in the warm kitchen. 

Adrien teased her about beating her to a pulp in Ultimate Mecha Strike 3, and she said he’d have to work hard to prove himself on that particular battlefield. He knew she was right, but teasing her was still fun. Confidence was fun, even false.

They talked about school, and the upcoming summer break, which Adrien admitted he already hated. They laughed about the Ladyblog. They spoke of Kitty Section’s practices.

Adrien spoke fondly of Nino, and Marinette sympathized with Adrien for not seeing his friend as often as he wanted to. Marientte spoke fondly of Alya.

“She’s really been pushing us to get together lately,” Marientte mused, raising a brow at him. “You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

Adrien raised his flour-covered hands, grinning. “I can neither confirm nor deny that we had a Talk.”

Marinette’s eyes widened as she pointed at him. “So you did speak to her!”

“No! She spoke to me!”

Marinette marched up to him and poked him in the chest. “What did she say?”

 _She laughed at me when I told her I loved you,_ Adrien thought, with a trace of bitterness. He brutally squashed the emotion before it could infect his good mood.

“She told me she’d help,” he said, ducking his head.

“Help you with what?”

“Getting us together,” he admitted, with a Chat-tastic grin.

She groaned. 

They continued gossiping about their classmates. Adrien spoke fondly of Chloe, but Marinette shut that down immediately.

“She’s not a bad person, you know,” Adrien said, watching Marinette pour heavy cream over their final batch of ready-to-bake cinnamon rolls. The first batch was done and cooling; he indulged in the smell as often as he could. The second dozen were in the oven. “Just misguided.”

“I know,” Marinette grumped. “There’s just a lot of history between us.”

“There’s history between me and her, too, but it’s not as unpleasant as yours is, I’m sure,” Adrien said, smiling.

“You’re a package deal, aren’t you?” Marinette said, setting the heavy cream pot aside and starting to prepare the cream cheese icing.

“What d’you mean?”

Marinette paused. She gestured at him, as if to take in all of him. “You and Chloe. If you and I are dating, then I’m going to have to tolerate her, aren’t I?”

 _If we’re dating_ , Adrien thought, a thrill of hope jumpstarting his heart. “She is my oldest friend. I would like everyone to get along with her, and her to get along with everyone else, but I know that’s probably too much to ask. Still, I’m not going to turn my back on her.”

Marinette sighed, blending cream cheese and butter in a bowl with a hand mixer. “Okay. I’ll… _try_ to get over my grudge. It won’t be easy, but I’ll try.”

“Thank you,” he said, but noticed she was looking at him oddly. “What?”

“Will you forgive her?” Marinette said, adding vanilla extract and sugar to the icing.

“For what?”

Marinette paused in her work again. "For what she did to Ladybug."

His stomach bottomed out. 

_Did_ he forgive Chloe? He couldn’t forgive Lila for hurting Marinette, so why hadn’t he examined his feelings regarding his oldest friend and his superhero partner? Chloe had hurt Ladybug, cut her deep, and Marinette continued to be pained by her inaccurate thoughts about failing the Bourgeois girl. 

Like Adrien had told Marinette, Chloe had _chosen_ to be akumatized, and had put the entire city--including Ladybug and himself, as Chat--in danger. She willingly worked with Hawkmoth. Their enemy. 

Later, Chloe had renounced Ladybug afterwards in a fit of pique. 

She was Adrien’s oldest friend, but she had yet to take responsibility for what she did. Unlike other akuma victims, she couldn’t use the excuse of “Hawkmoth made me do it.”

He realized with a start that he _couldn’t_ forgive Chloe. And he had just been conveniently ignoring who had been behind Miracle Queen’s black and yellow mask.

The thought that he’d compartmentalized away Ladybug’s pain discomfited him. 

Adrien didn’t know what to do about that. About Chlo'. About Ladybug.

About Marinette.

While he was lost in thought, Marinette had already pulled the second batch of cinnamon rolls out of the oven, and put in the third. Brought back to the kitchen, he watched her frost the first, now-cooled batch.

Frosting on the corner of her lip, she glanced up at him and caught him staring at her. "Adrien?" she said, pausing her work for a third time. "Are you okay? You never answered me."

“Sorry,” he said, his tongue thick against his teeth. “I was thinking hard. And I think… You’re right, I can’t forgive Chloe yet. Not until she apologizes to Ladybug.”

Marinette watched him. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” he answered weakly, holding his hands out. “I can’t force her to take responsibility for what she did. Just like Lila took out her anger on you--I can’t forgive her either.”

Marinette blinked. “You can’t forgive Lila for… hurting _me_?”

“Absolutely not,” Adrien snapped, and then withdrew. “Sorry. I’m not angry at you. I’m angry at _her_.”

“You’re... angry on my behalf?”

“Of course,” Adrien said heatedly, pressing a hand to his heart. “You’re my friend, Marinette. Of course I’d be angry with anyone who tries to hurt you.”

_I love you. So much._

Marinette gave him a shy smile that melted him through and through. “Thank you, Adrien,” she said, crossing to him and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

He smiled shyly back. “Are the rolls done?”

“The first batch is. We can split one, if you like.”

“Yes, please!” Adrien chirped. He so rarely ate sugar in his restrictive diet; gum, with its fake sugar, and the _very_ occasional ice cream, were all he was allowed. The thought of indulging in Marinette’s baking excited him.

He wished he could transform into Chat and awaken his feline senses, to fully experience the roll. But Adrien contented himself with just being Adrien--for the moment.

He was still getting a cinnamon roll! 

Adrien bounced on the balls of his feet as Marinette scooped a roll out of the casserole dish with a spatula. He could already see how gooey the roll was as she plated the pastry. Grinning, she cut the cinnamon bread in half, and transferred one of the halves to another plate.

“Those look delicious,” Adrien said, mouth watering as he accepted his plate from Marinette.

But then he was stumped. “How, uh,” he said, blinking, “how do I eat this?”

Marinette smirked. “With your mouth.”

“And my hands?” he said, looking at his fingers. “I mean, you didn’t give me a knife and fork, so…”

A wicked gleam flashed in Marinette’s eyes. She dipped her thumb in her cream cheese icing, and dragged the mess along his cheek. “Maybe I just want to see you covered in frosting.”

He flushed to his roots, jaw dropping. Then he burst out laughing. “Wow,” he said, when he’d calmed down. “I’m going to eat this before I put my foot in my mouth instead.”

Marinette responded by sinking her teeth into her roll.

Adrien picked up the roll, noticing that his hands were going to be ridiculously messy by the time he was done. He grimaced slightly. They were already sticky. _Maybe the taste will be worth the mess._

It _was_.

The bread was warm and yeasty, perfectly moist, as he shoved practically the whole thing into his mouth. Sugar exploded on his tongue. Cinnamon and nutmeg took the chill off his mouth and throat. The roll was just as gooey and amazing as it looked. He moaned quietly, closing his eyes. 

“How is it?” Marinette asked. He could sense that she’d moved closer to him by the hot, cinnamon-scented breath on his neck. He shivered.

“Su- _purrb_ ,” he purred, letting some of Chat leak through. He cracked an eye to peer down at her. “Almost as sweet as your kisses.”

Much to his delight, she laughed and kissed him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	34. Chapter 34

Summer arrived, and brought with it a gloriously hot sun and sweltering heat. And, for Adrien, no more time with his friends at school, starting on July 5th. Only two weeks into the break, he desperately missed fist bumping with Nino. He missed Alya’s gushing about Ladybug. He even missed Chloe’s shrill nickname for him.

He especially missed Marinette. All of her.

Chat sulked, curling up in a sun puddle in his usual spot on the roof of the school. Nino was busy hanging out with Alya and had requested via text that they be left alone today, for some reason. Chloe was in Morocco for a couple of weeks.

Marinette… Chat didn’t know where Marinette was. He assumed home, but he couldn’t visit her on a lonely Wednesday afternoon. Their date wasn’t until next week.

He almost wished for an akuma, because that would bring his Lady out into the open.

He sighed, and settled down for a catnap in the almost-too-warm sun.

Later that evening, his wish came true. Overjoyed at the thought of seeing Ladybug, Chat helicoptered to the Montparnasse tower, where Alya’s Ladyblog revealed that the akuma had holed up. He saw Alya at the bottom of the tower and threw her a customary, two-fingered salute as he vaulted up, making her squeal.

Ladybug was already in one of the offices when he arrived, battling a giant, hunchbacked villain with a green-and-brown color scheme. Apparently she’d already evacuated the civilians.

Chat already planned to make a joke about the akuma being in the wrong place. _Hunchbacks belong in Notre Dame, not Montparnasse._

“Good evening, My Lady!” Chat said cheerily, dodging a stapler that the akumatized man had thrown at him.

“I don’t know what’s good about it, Chat Noir!” Ladybug said, spinning her yo-yo to make a shield. Files that the akuma hurled at her bounced harmlessly off of it.

“I get to see you, of course!” Chat said, dancing and weaving around her.

“Akuma’s in the watch in his pocket,” Ladybug said. “We should--”

“Ladybug!” the akuma roared, spraying spittle everywhere. 

Chat glanced to her. “He seems upset.”

“Aren’t they always,” she said dryly, deflecting more files.

“I love your sense of humor, My Lady,” Chat said, sketching a bow.

The akuma growled, clenching his fists. “Pay attention to me!” He picked up a large file cabinet, hefting it over his head, and lobbed it at Chat.

Chat was prepared to attempt to bat it away from him with his baton--he knew, deep down, that he couldn’t, and that taking the hit would _hurt_ \--but Ladybug jumped in front of him. “Look out!” she cried, shoving him out of the way. 

Chat fell on to his butt, and watched, horrified, as the file cabinet slammed into Ladybug’s face. She hit the ground with a thud that reverberated in his ears. The cabinet bounced off to the side.

Chat screamed.

He dashed over to her, crouched down, and cradled her in his arms. The suit protected her, usually, but that didn’t extend to the exposed parts of her face. Blood spewed from her nose. He could smell the massive bruise forming. She offered him a teary smile with a split lip. 

“Sorry,” she choked out.

His terror at seeing his Lady hurt coalesced in his brain. He began hyperventilating. Anger flooded his vision, and he blinked away tears. “Why didn’t you let me protect you?” he demanded, nearly biting his tongue.

The akuma roared again, picking up a chair. A calm passed over Chat’s frantic mind. He knew what he wanted to do: beat on the akuma until he stopped moving. Chat wanted to make him hurt as much as he’d hurt Chat’s Lady.

“I’ll be right back,” Chat told her tonelessly, kissing her cheek. “Je dois m'occuper de quelque chose.” I have to take care of something.

“Chat...” 

Chat laid her down and faced the akuma. The boy snapped his baton into his hand, and charged, moving faster than he ever had in his life. His gaze was murderous. 

The akuma jerked back, nonplussed. He staggered under Chat’s blows, including an especially nasty one to his head. His blood was chartreuse, Chat idly noticed, while slamming his metal stick into the akuma’s eye. 

The akuma bellowed, clutching his face. He stepped back, but found himself against the wall, cornered. Chat advanced on him, forcefully jabbing the baton into his belly. The akuma shrank under the attack, covering his middle with his massive hands.

“Lucky Charm!” Ladybug said. She’d gotten back onto her feet. Chat whipped his head around to see her catching a spoon.

“No,” he whispered bitterly, turning back to the akuma. “This is my fight.”

Chat launched himself at the recoiling akuma, swinging his staff. This time, the boy aimed directly for the man’s pockets. Chat heard a metallic crunch, and saw the purple butterfly flutter out. 

Sitting on the ground, the akumatized man was covered in purple bubbles for a moment. They fled him, and he blinked. “What happened?”

Chat’s fingers tightened around his baton. For a brief, fleeting moment, he considered bashing the victim’s head in.

Ladybug de-evilized the akuma. “Chat!” she said, catching up to him. “What is _wrong_ with you?”

Chat rounded on her. “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with _you_?” he yelled, and she jerked back, jaw dropping. Hot tears spilled over his cheeks. “Why did you jump in front of me? Why, Ladybug? Why?”

“Chat,” she whispered. Her earrings chirped. “Y-You were about to get hurt--”

“Then let me get hurt!” he screamed, throwing his baton on the ground. Her bloody nose had clotted, but still smelled fresh to him. The metallic odor stung his nose. “I’m not as important as you are!”

“You can’t mean that!” 

“Can’t I?” his voice tore from him, as if it were a monster clawing its way out of his throat. “Why not? You’re the only one who can purify the akumas! You’re not supposed to get hurt! I don’t matter!”

“You’re wrong!” Ladybug shrieked, raising her tiny fists. 

“Excuse me,” the akumatized victim said. They both ignored him.

“Do it, Ladybug,” Chat growled. “Throw your Lucky Charm. Fix your face. Do it now!”

She gasped. Her earrings chirped again. With her wide, bluebell eyes flicking from the spoon in her hand to him, she stepped back. “Okay,” she said, resigned. “But after that, I have to bug out.”

“No,” Chat begged, dashing his tears away with the back of his clawed hand. “Don’t. _Please_.” 

“I _have_ to.”

“We’re not done--”

“Miraculous Ladybug!” she cried, hurling the spoon into the air. Her millions of tiny, glowing helpers flowed around the office, setting things to right. Her face was the last thing to be reset.

Before he could say anything more, she dashed from the room.

 _Oh, no, you don’t,_ he thought viciously. He took a step forward, but was arrested by the akumatized victim calling his name.

“Chat Noir! What’s going on? Are you and Ladybug _fighting_?”

Chat gave him a wet, thick cackle. “What does it look like?” he said in a low, dark voice.

The man backed away from the superhero, crab-walking on the floor. Chat sighed. He crouched next to the man. “I’m sorry you had to see that,” Chat said. “We’re… We’ll be okay.” _Eventually._

“O-Okay.” 

Chat spent the next few minutes consoling the akumatized victim, the innocent party. The superhero assured him that Chat and Ladybug would patch things up, though he privately didn’t know how they could. He wisely kept that thought to himself.

He was _furious_ with her. He didn’t know how on earth she thought he was worth more than she was.

After taking the man home, still spitting mad, Chat sped to the bakery. 

He wasn’t done with Ladybug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Someone suffers a panic attack in this chapter.

Still raw and furious about the fight in the Montparnasse tower, Chat sped to the bakery. He slammed his feet into the chimney, almost bending it. 

He jumped off and landed on the balcony. Then he pounded on the skylight.  
Marinette opened it, eyes wide. “Chat! What--”

“Marinette,” Chat growled, and shoved his way past her. He landed on her bed. Glaring over his shoulder, he hopped down the loft’s stairs and landed with a thump on the floor. He spun to face her, tilting his chin up.

“What happened?” she said, staring at him from the bed. Glaring at her, he waited for her to climb down the stairs and cross warily past him to the chaise longue.

“Ladybug got hurt today,” he said icily, gripping his baton in his clawed fingers. He couldn’t see if his knuckles were white under his gloves, but they felt bloodless.

“H-How?” she said, sitting down heavily on the reclining chair.

“She jumped in front of me!” he spat, whirling away from her. He couldn’t bear to look at the fear in her eyes, to know that he was the cause of her terror. He stole a glance at her, but only a peek.

She covered her mouth with her hands. “I’m sure she had a good reason…”

“She tried to protect me,” he bit out through gritted teeth. “ _She_ tried to protect _me_. It’s so wrong!”

“It’s not--”

“Why won’t yo-- _she_ let me protect _her_?” Chat said, with a strangled sob. “She never lets me help her. She just… jumps in harm’s way! To protect me. Me, who doesn’t matter in the slightest! I’m not worth getting hurt, Ladybug!”

She gasped. “Chat…” She stood and crossed to him, laying a hand on his arm.

“I-I’m not w-worth it.” Chat despaired. He was useless. He wasn’t a true partner; all he did was get in the way. Burning with anger but unwilling to take it out further on Marinette, he turned his teary gaze away.

Then he saw it. A purple butterfly was inching its way past the seal of the skylight. Fear gripped his heart and he gasped, pointing towards the akuma. Marinette whipped her head towards where he pointed. She screamed. “Chat! You have to calm down!”

The akuma extricated itself from the skylight, and fluttered towards them. Eyes wide as he saw the purple butterfly closing in, Chat tried to center himself. He drew shaky breaths through his nose, but they were useless in steadying his nerves. Hot tears flowed down his face, dripping off his nose, which was blocked up. He started hyperventilating for the second time that day.

Marinette sprang into action. She pulled him close, squashing his head against her chest. Her fingers found his scalp near the backs of his ears. She began scratching. The ministrations took the edge off, but the akuma still fluttered around nearby. 

“Kitty,” she whispered frantically. “You’re not here right now. You’re by the sea in summer. The sun is gloriously hot on your shoulders, warming you through your chest.” She glanced at the akuma hovering near his head, and turned back to him. “Can you feel it? Can you feel the sun?”

He could feel the warmth spreading out from his belly. He could smell the salt of the sea--or possibly his own tears.

“And you’re there?” he choked out.

“I’m there.”

Finally, the tightness in his chest eased. He clung to her, breathing in her comforting scent of coffee and chocolate. Calmness settled on his frantic mind. The akuma paused, as if confused. Then it floated back over to the skylight, where it levitated in the air, wings flapping.

Chat gave Marinette a long look. Her lips were parted and her cheeks were flushed. She was staring at him with so much love and admiration in her eyes, his heart trembled.

She licked her lips, drawing his attention to them. On instinct, he surged forward, capturing her lips in his. 

She responded immediately. Eagerly, she grabbed the back of his neck and crushed him against her. Greedily, he devoured her mouth. She moaned into his, making goosebumps sprout on his arms. He fisted his claws into her black jacket, trying to press her even closer. They snagged on the fibers as he poked holes in the cloth.

Too soon, he broke the kiss, jerking his head back with a gasp. “Marinette…” His voice sounded husky to his ears.

“Chat,” she whispered again. Then she tore her gaze away, looking towards the purple butterfly fluttering in circles near the skylight. “What do we do with _that_?”

 _Transform,_ he pleaded silently. _Transform, and de-evilize it._

She didn’t. 

He realized, slowly, that forcing her to transform and reveal herself before she was ready would be a terrible idea. This wasn’t the time. Chat wanted her to share her secret identity with him, not be forced into it.

Chat knew what to do.

“Cataclysm,” he said, feeling the rush of black, bubbling power form in his hand. Cataclysm always tingled; the enchantment was comfortably warm. He disengaged from Marinette, and crossed to the akuma. Snapping his hand forward, he closed his fingers around the butterfly.

Cataclysm worked its magic, and he felt the akuma dissolve into ash. _I hope that gave Hawkmoth a migraine._ Grimly, he released his fist, and dropped the powdery residue on to her floor. 

“I have to go recharge my kwami,” Chat said, before his ring chirped. His heart was still pounding. “Can you close your eyes?”

She gave him a stiff nod and screwed her eyes tightly shut. He stepped across the room, as far away as he could get from her, before whispering, “Claws in.”

Plagg didn’t say anything to him, just looked at him with soulful eyes. The kwami snarfed down the two wedges of cheese Adrien offered him without complaint. 

The boy didn’t even check if Marinette still had her eyes closed; he knew she wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize his identity. The thought made him bitter.

“Claws out,” Adrien said, and the light washed over him without his regular motions. When he returned to Marinette, she was trembling, a full-body vibration while standing rooted to the spot.

“You can open your eyes now,” he told her. They shot open, whirling. Her eyes were wide and unfocused, darting around, seemingly avoiding where the akuma had entered. 

Chat placed a hand on her shoulder. She jumped and screamed again, wind-milling her arms. “Marinette?” he said, backing off immediately. He held his hands up. “Are you okay? What happened?”

Marinette paced back and forth, gripping her elbows desperately, as if trying to physically hold herself together. Tears rolled down her pale, green cheeks. She panted, chewing on her lower lip as if her flesh had offended her. He smelled the bruise forming under her teeth.

Chat recognized the symptoms immediately. He knew them intimately, after all. _She’s panicking. Now that the threat is over, and she doesn’t have to be calm anymore, she’s panicking._

He spoke in slow, even tones, asking grounding questions that his therapist had used on him when he’d suffered panic attacks. “What is your name?”

Her eyes jerked to him. “M-Marinette.”

“What is your favorite color?”

She struggled for a moment. He wondered if he should have asked yes or no questions. “Pink.”

Chat deliberately modeled deep breathing for her. She watched his chest rise and fall. “Can you take a deep breath?”

“Y-Yes.” She gulped for oxygen, but kept hyperventilating.

“Can you feel the floor under your feet?” 

Marinette stopped pacing, and planted her feet shoulder-length apart, her position of power. She was still wrapped tightly around herself. “Y-Yes?”

Chat pointed to his shoulder. “Can you see the piping on my suit?”

Her eyes focused on him, and narrowed. “Yes.” She drew a shaky breath through her nose, but it was deeper than the shallow breathing she’d been doing.

Chat was tempted to close his eyes out of relief, but he didn’t want to leave her alone, even for an instant. “Can I touch you?”

“Yes,” she said, and leaned toward him. 

He placed a clawed hand on the crown of her head, and modeled deep breathing again. She followed suit, her chest and belly filling with air. “Are you feeling better than you were?”

Marinette peeled her fingers off her arms. She nodded. Her shoulders sagged, and she lowered her head. He thought he heard her gag. She covered her mouth with her hand, and sank down to her knees in slow motion.

Chat followed suit, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. He wanted to pull her into his lap, but assumed that she might not be ready for that. “What happened?”

She spoke to the floor, her voice wooden. “You were almost akumatized. I… I couldn’t bear that.”

He wanted to cup her chin in his hand and lift her face to see him, but he held off. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I wouldn’t know what to do!” she cried, clenching her fists in front of her. “If you were akumatized, then I… I would have to… and...”

“That’s not going to happen,” Chat said fervently. “Never.”

Marinette let out a choked sob and held up a pinky. “Promise?”

Chat gladly wrapped his clawed pinky around hers. “Promise.”

She got to her feet, and he followed. Chat wrapped his arms around her, humming La Mer. She swayed in his hold, and soon they were slow dancing around her room. 

He waited until the song was finished to ask how she was feeling. “Are you better now?” he asked, rubbing her back. He never wanted to let her go. “Not all the way okay, but better?” 

“Yeah. Yeah. I think I’m better.”

“Good.” Chat breathed in her chocolate-coffee scent. “Marinette,” he said, his voice rough, “about that kiss--”

“I liked it.” She offered him a weak smile.

Stunned, Chat stared down at her with wide eyes. “You… You did?”

She nodded. Then, speaking with firm conviction, she made his heart burst in his chest. “I love you, Chat Noir. I’ve loved you for so long.”

Chat’s first instinct was to throw a pun at her. He didn’t know why that was how he wanted to respond, and he knew that would spoil the moment. Besides, he couldn’t think of a joke. 

He watched her eyes, which shone with adoration. He took her hand in his own, still holding her with his other arm, and kissed her knuckles.

“I love you, too, Marinette,” he whispered. “With all of me: heart, mind, and soul. I’d die for you.”

Her teary eyes crinkled at the corners as she smiled again. She was the most beautiful he’d ever seen her. “I know.” 

“So, um,” he said, suddenly embarrassed. He wanted to rub the back of his head, a habit he’d picked up as Adrien, but he didn’t want to release her. His words came out rushed and hasty, not the impression he wanted to give. He hoped he didn’t sound like a dork. “Can I kiss you again?”

She laughed wetly. “Please.”

Chat let go of her, and placed his hands on her shoulders. He leaned down--way down, she was ten inches shorter than he was, after all--and brushed his lips against hers. This kiss was nothing like the electrically-charged one from before; he was hesitant, exploring the feel of her lips by gliding his own over them.

Again, Marinette responded, opening herself up to him and inviting him in. She laced her fingers around his neck, pressing her small chest against his.

Like his first taste of the croissant as Chat when he was starving, his senses went into overdrive. He could finally, _finally_ smell and taste and touch her intimately, and the electric pleasure of the sensations were overwhelming.  
He’d never kissed anyone as Chat, and he wanted to repeat the experience as often as possible. With Marinette alone.

He’d thought Adrien’s kiss with Ladybug was all he’d ever wanted. He was wrong. 

Chat kissing Marinette was _so_ good. It was soft and sweet. Chat purred into the kiss. She laughed against him.

Before his eyes drifted closed, he noticed a speck of green in hers. He’d never seen that before. _Huh,_ he thought, but couldn’t form a conscious thought beyond that, as his brain was pleasantly fuzzy.

Then she picked up the pace. 

The frisson that had built up between them before exploded in his brain, and he saw stars behind his closed eyelids. Knees weak, he wrapped his arms around her and crushed her body against his, pursuing her hot mouth with his own. 

He moaned, parting his lips. Her small, pink tongue darted out and caressed his teeth. She licked his gums, and fire shot through him. Tongue-kissing wasn’t as weird anymore; it was exciting and stimulating. 

Marinette bit his lip, and he gasped, pulling back.

She smiled up at him. Chat pressed his forehead to hers. Her gorgeous, bluebell eyes--with that speck of green--were dilated. He knew his own were as well.

“That,” he panted, “that was _so good_.”

“Lost for words, Chat?” Marinette said, the corners of her pretty mouth turned upward.

“What do you expect?” he said, flushed. “My head is fuzzy and warm. It’s sort of hard to think straight.”

Her laughter pealed out like a bell. “Should we kiss again?”

“Yes. _Please_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains bullying and sexual harassment.

Adrien and Marinette weren’t officially boyfriend and girlfriend. They were “still a firm maybe,” according to her. They’d only had a few dates together: ice cream at Andre’s, walking hand in hand along the Seine, baking cinnamon rolls together--all wonderful. She wasn’t cheating on him with himself; that would be ridiculous.

But she’d kissed Chat Noir. For a while.

 _And she told me she’d loved me…_ Adrien thought alone in his room, sitting on his bed on the morning after their kiss.

She still loved Adrien. Didn’t she? Or did she only love Chat Noir?

“Arrrgh,” Adrien said, falling back on his bed, his crossed arms covering his eyes.  
He wished he could tell what she was thinking about. It was a puzzle, and like any good puzzle, Adrien was desperately curious about the solution. But the stakes had never seemed higher.

And he felt terrible about scaring Marinette. He'd probably scared Ladybug, too, but he'd definitely scared Marinette. He’d been so angry, his emotions so heated, Hawkmoth had sent an akuma after him. Adrien was ashamed he’d let himself get so worked up. He’d never been so angry, and with Ladybug, of all people.

He knew he must apologize. He didn’t know how to make it up to her. Scaring her was the last thing he wanted to do; he wanted to protect her, for heaven’s sake. He was planning to apologize to Ladybug at patrol and Marinette at the bakery.

Now all he had to do was follow through.

“Arrrgh,” Adrien said again.

Plagg was about to say something to him when a knock sounded on his door. “Adrien?” Nathalie asked. “May I come in?”

Plagg phased into his shirt, and Adrien spoke up. “Please do, Nathalie.”

She entered the room, holding her ubiquitous tablet. “I have your schedule for today. You have a doctor’s appointment, and then a photoshoot with Mademoiselle Rossi.”

Adrien bit back another groan and sat up. “All right. Thanks, Nathalie,” he said, and then blinked. “What’s the doctor’s appointment for?”

Nathalie had been turning away, but she stopped and turned back to him. “Now that you’re on summer break, your father has requested a new meal plan, to make up for the calories you’d be getting in school. Your personal chef has been informed.”

“Thanks, Nathalie.”

“Also,” Nathalie said, scanning her tablet, “they will check your teeth again.”

Adrien flushed with anger and shame. _My father still thinks I’m bulimic? But I’ve put on a lot of weight!_

He bowed his head to Nathalie. “Okay,” he said, though he felt anything but. “Hopefully I won’t disappoint.”

She gave him the tiniest of smiles, and left the room.

“Is she gone?” Plagg whispered from his shirt.

“Yeah, she’s gone,” Adrien said, lying back down on the bed.

Plagg phased out of the pocket in Adrien’s jacket. “What are you going to do about your girlfriend?”

“Which me?”

“Both of you!”

Adrien accidentally nibbled his lip. He stopped when he realized what he was doing. “I don’t know, Plagg. Marinette seems to like Adrien. But I know for a fact that she loves Chat Noir. And Ladybug kissed Adrien, but has never liked Chat. And Marinette kissed Adrien, too. But Marinette kissed Chat!” he said, throwing an arm over his head. “I just don’t know what she’s thinking.”

“Why don’t you ask her?” Plagg said, hovering in front of Adrien’s face.

“Right, I’ll say, ‘Hey, Marinette, I know you’re Ladybug. Why’d you kiss Adrien if you love Chat Noir? Are we still a firm maybe?’” Adrien said, shaking his head. “I can’t see that going over well.”

“You humans,” Plagg groused. “You’d solve all your problems if you were just brave enough to _talk_ to each other.”

Adrien couldn’t help but smile.

***

The doctor’s appointment went about as well as expected. At first. At the command of his father on Nathalie’s tablet, held by Nathalie, the physician opened Adrien’s mouth and shone a penlight onto his teeth. The medical practitioner ran his gloved finger along Adrien’s bottom jaw. Curling his tongue back into his mouth, the boy tried not to gag.

“Hmm,” the doctor said, clicking the penlight off. “There’s a little damage, but not as much as I would expect to find if you’d been bulimic all this time.”

 _There’s… damage?_ Adrien was horrified. He racked his brains to try and figure out how he’d marred his teeth, and realized that it must have been when he was eating too much and throwing up months ago. That had been for two straight weeks--apparently long enough to create a dental issue. He tore his gaze away from the man in the white coat, looking to Nathalie’s tablet.

Even through a screen, Gabriel’s hard eyes radiated disappointment and anger. “Check again.”

The physician hesitated. “I don’t think--”

“Check. _Again,_ ” Gabriel hissed.

Chills spilled down Adrien’s back. He felt goosebumps sprout on his arms. Once more, he was subject to an uncomfortable examination, made even more so by the way he could feel his father’s glare on his shoulders.

“I see the same result,” the doctor said, replacing his penlight in his pocket. Then he addressed Adrien. “But your weight is fine now. You’ve also gained a lot of height. You wouldn’t have grown as much if you were depriving your body of nutrients...”

Adrien shut his mouth as the doctor stood back. The boy stood stock still, waiting.

“I prescribe a special fluoride-infused toothpaste. That should help contain and possibly reverse the damage,” the medical practitioner said to Gabriel’s tablet. “I’ll email Madame Sancouer the meal plan.”

“Thank you, doctor,” Nathalie said.

“Adrien,” Gabriel said, “you have a photoshoot with Mademoiselle Rossi this afternoon. Then you will meet me for dinner.”

Dread clenched Adrien’s heart. He let loose a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Swallowing thickly, he nodded. “Yes, Father.”

***

The shoot was held at the Place Dauphine, the most romantic square in Paris, nestled near the Notre Dame cathedral in the center of the city.

By the time Adrien had arrived in the sedan, Lila was already there, getting her makeup done. “Hi, Adrien,” she said, peeking at him out of the corner of her eye as he sat down heavily in the other makeup chair.

Adrien was panicky about his impending doom. His father wanted to eat dinner with him, which normally would send Adrien over the moon. But this time, he knew his father would address the accidental dental issue.

Adrien shuddered. What was his father going to say? Worry permeated Adrien, squeezing his heart in a vise. He had to work hard not to completely give over to his alarm and start hyperventilating. He clenched his chest, feeling pain arise behind his breastbone. Plagg vibrated under his shirt.

 _Calm down, Adrien_ , he thought desperately, drawing a deep breath. _You can’t do anything about it now. There’s no sense panicking._

After going through the breathing exercises his therapist had taught him more than a year ago, he resigned himself to thinking about the problem later. Glancing at Lila, he mentally switched to dreading the shoot with her.

“Hi, Lila,” Adrien said, sighing as he waited his turn to be dolled up. The makeup artist was applying blush to his classmate’s face. If Lila was concerned about his waiting to greet her back, she didn’t show it.

He looked at Lila, considering her. He wanted to give her another chance. But she meant to hurt Marinette, and did. Adrien wasn’t sure if he wanted to forgive her, even if it was the right thing to do.

He was conflicted.

“Like what you see?” Lila purred.

Adrien’s cheeks burned. “Uh, um, I mean,” he said, tugging on his collar.

“You’re so cute, Adrien,” Lila said, giggling as the makeup artist finished brushing blush onto her nose.

He stared at his feet until it was his turn to get his makeup on.

Soon, Adrien found himself wrapping Lila up in his arms as Vincent was snapping photos and using spaghetti analogies. “Show me your emotions! Anger, fear, love--yes, that’s it, you want to ravish her because she brought you your favorite pasta!”

Adrien held off on rolling his eyes, and gave Lila a smoldering look. He wasn’t sure how this would help the Gabriel Agreste brand, but he did as he was told.

As he always did.

Most of the time.

Lila looped her arms around him and leaned her head on his shoulder. He moved his hands to her waist. She pressed her hips into his. Tempted to jerk back, he swallowed instead. _She’s my father’s muse. I can’t mistreat her._

She rotated in his grip, and leaned the back of her head on his shoulder, gazing up at him with loving eyes. He looked down at her with a plastic smile fit for a magazine cover. She raised her arms and looped them over his neck, lacing her fingers together. She stuck her chest out.

“Oh, _Adrien_ ,” Lila moaned.

Adrien felt simultaneously hot and cold. Lila’s physical proximity made him burn up under his collar--she was a girl, after all, pressing her butt into his hips--but his heart felt like ice. _Think of Tetris. Cold showers. Dead puppies._

“Beautiful!” Vincent said.

Adrien sighed inwardly.

Lila ambushed him. “Do you still love Ladybug?” Lila asked, with an ugly sneer curling her pretty, pink lips.

Adrien blanched. _What does she know?_ he thought, momentarily nervous. _Maybe she overheard Nino teasing me about my crush a while ago_

__

Then he remembered that she hated Ladybug, and how Lila had put his Lady in danger when Kagami was akumatized and chasing after the liar.

__

Forgetting himself, Adrien glared at her. “Yes.”

__

Lila scowled right back.

__

Vincent snapped at them to cut it out. “I don’t know what’s come over you two,” Vincent complained. “You’re usually more professional than this.”

__

Adrien winced. If his father heard about this…

__

“We’re sorry, Vincent,” Lila cooed. “We’ll behave.” She kissed Adrien on his neck. He shivered. “Won’t we, _Adrien_?”

__

“Of course,” Adrien said glumly.

__

Deciding to think about something much more pleasant, Adrien let his thoughts drift back to Marinette and the way her lips felt against Chat’s.

__

She was warm and open and inviting. Unseeing, his gaze softened. _And the way she used her tongue…_ His lips parted, and his cheeks burned. 

__

“Yes!” Vincent yelled. “That’s _it_! Hold that pose!”

__

Adrien was too much of a professional model to jerk when he was startled from his thoughts, so he held the pose. Lila smiled up at him coyly. Her cloyingly sweet perfume wafted up from her wrists as she cupped his cheeks, stinging his nose.

__

Unfortunately, thoughts of Marinette kissing him gave way to thoughts about what happened prior to the kiss, and the way she looked at him: afraid. He never wanted her to look that way again, especially not because of him. He’d die first.

__

He needed to apologize.

__

But how? Chocolates seemed like an empty gesture at this point. Adrien furrowed his brow, and then smoothed it out when Vincent told him to.

__

When he truly thought about it, Adrien realized that he’d broken Marinette’s trust in him. He scared her because he was so angry he became a threat. 

__

A stone sank in his belly. He’d _threatened_ her. She was scared of him for a good reason.

__

He was meant to protect her. Who was he, if he couldn’t do that? He’d done the opposite. He’d hurt her. Again.

__

Hot tears stung his eyes, and he scrubbed at them with the heel of one hand. He was so sick of crying.

__

“Are you all right?” Lila said, disengaging from him. She actually looked concerned. Adrien couldn’t tell if she was lying or not.

__

“I am fine,” he said tonelessly. “Thanks, Lila.”

__

Vincent laid a hand on his shoulder. “Do you need a break, Adrien?”

__

“Yes, please.”

__

“Take a break, then, boyo,” he said, gently shoving him off towards the craft services table.

__

“J'attendrai,” Lila said. I’ll wait.

__

He kept her waiting for a long time.

__

***

__

“I’m very disappointed in you, son,” Gabriel said. Adrien flinched.

__

_And there it is._

__

They were seated close together at the dinner table during the evening of Adrien’s summer doctor’s appointment. The boy had waited for his father to speak--to condemn him for the damage to his teeth the doctor had found--since the dish was served. Now the chicken Marengo--a chicken stew expertly cooked with tomato, egg, and crayfish--had grown cold in Adiren’s bowl.

__

Under the watchful eye of his father, Adrien had choked down some of the food and almost gagged as he swallowed. The food tasted like ash; even the feeling of the stew sliding down his throat was viciously unpleasant.

__

And now Gabriel had spoken.

__

“I know,” Adrien said glumly, looking at his half-eaten supper so he wouldn’t have to meet his father’s cold eyes.

__

“You lied to me.”

__

Adrien jerked his head up. “Father, I--”

__

“Never lie to me again, Adrien.”

__

The boy laid a hand over his pounding heart. He closed his eyes and bowed his head. “Yes, Father.”

__

Adrien knew he’d have to lie to him again. The boy couldn’t gallivant around the city as Chat Noir, experiencing the freedom he’d always been denied, without lying. He… He just _couldn’t_ lie to his father again… but he had to protect his Lady.

__

He didn’t know what he was going to do. He sniffled. 

__

To his surprise, Adrien felt a warm, heavy hand on his shoulder. He opened his eyes, only to see concern lining Gabriel’s. “You worried me, Adrien.” 

__

A curl of hope twisted around Adrien’s heart. “I… worried you?”

__

“Of course, son,” Gabriel said, with a slight inflection in his usually toneless voice that Adrien couldn’t place. “I care about you.”

__

“My father,” Adrien had snapped at Marinette so many months ago, “cares for me _deeply_.” 

__

The admission wasn’t an “I love you.” His father never said those words--hadn’t since Adrien’s mother had left them--and Adrien didn’t expect that.

__

But Adrien didn’t need Gabriel to say it. His care was enough.

__

Adrien’s eyes brimmed with tears. “Thank you, Father.”

__

To the boy’s utter shock, Gabriel’s lips turned upwards at the corners. He nodded, and picked up his cloth napkin to wipe his mouth.

__

The rest of the dinner passed in silence, but Adrien felt nothing but affection for his father. Their relationship had seemingly improved, when he was so worried about damaging it just as he’d accidentally damaged his teeth. 

__

His father didn’t trust him anymore. After floundering for a few minutes, Adrien decided he could live with that. Trust could be rebuilt. 

It would be a long, arduous process, but he had to hope he'd earn his father's trust in him again. Adrien did not want to consider what would happen if he couldn't earn that trust back. There were no guarantees he'd be able to do that. 

But Adrien hoped.

__

Adrien felt, for the first time in a long time, completely at peace.

__

He felt cared for.

__

He felt loved.

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I wanted to address some of the comments from the last chapter. Many of my readers were overjoyed to see Adrien getting a scrap of affection from Gabriel. And that affection is a good thing! But I want to clarify that the father-son dinner scene from the last chapter wasn’t meant to be a happy moment. I was attempting to set up some aspects of the sequel.
> 
> While Gabriel’s love for Adrien is genuine, the man is also controlling and abusive. Maintaining his power and control is more important to him than caring for his son.
> 
> Adrien is super motivated to bend over backwards for Gabriel because of those infrequent, intermittent morsels of love, which is a hallmark of abusive relationships. The boy is an emotionally-compromised, unreliable narrator. Please don’t believe that people aren’t objectively terrible to him just because he believes they treat him well. Abusive parents can still love their children, but that love doesn’t excuse their actions.
> 
> That being said, onto the last chapter of Crash! Thank you all for reading, and for sticking with me throughout this story. I am honored to have you as readers. I hope that you are all satisfied with this ending and willing to read on to the sequel, [And He’s Gotta Be Fresh From the Fight.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24273268/chapters/58502071) It updates on Sundays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
> 
> I love each and every one of you. You are all extremely smart and insightful, and your comments have been a joy to read.
> 
> Thank you, thank you, thank you for coming on this journey with me. 
> 
> -Cass <3

Chat had to apologize to Ladybug for freaking out on her the day before when she’d gotten hurt at the Montparnasse tower. He’d scared her, when he was supposed to be protecting her. Chat knew that groveling at her feet was the right thing to do, but anguish twisted his heart as he wondered if she would forgive him.

 _What if she never forgives me? What if she sends me away?_ he wondered as he vaulted across the Paris skyline, traveling to their fated rooftop. His night vision blurred with tears. _I couldn’t bear it. I’ll die. If I can’t ever see her again, the pain will kill me._

Fat droplets leaked from his eyes, chilling his temples as they rolled across his face in the summer wind.

With a heavy heart, he landed on their meeting place. He couldn’t look at Ladybug, who stood with firm feet on the roof, her empty hands at her sides.

“Chat…”

“I’m sorry!” he blurted, squeezing his eyes shut. He forced them open and stared at her, feeling tears pour down his face. His nose was blocked. “I’m so sorry, Ladybug.” He dropped to his hands and knees. “Please… _please_ forgive me.”

She crossed to him, laying a hand on his shoulder. He leaned into the touch.

“You only wanted to protect me,” she said, crouching down beside him. She cupped his cheek in her tiny, gloved hand. “I understand.” 

“I scared you,” he choked out. “That was wrong.”

She gave him a steady look. “Yes, it was,” she said. “But I know you overreacted because you wanted to protect me.”

“Yes,” Chat said, with a strangled sob. 

“Chat,” Ladybug started, then tilted her head to the side, as if reconsidering her approach. She licked her lips. “You are _not_ useless. To me. To anyone. You are worth so much to me, in a lot of ways.” She drew a breath through her nose, closing her eyes. “And you are worth protecting.”

“No, I’m n--”

Her eyes snapped open. “ _Yes_ , you are. You are my partner! We protect each other. It’s a two-way street,” she said, lip curling. Then her look softened, as she stroked her thumb over his cheekbone. “I would die for you, if I had to. I… I love you, Chat.”

Her validation of his worth made him lift his eyes to face her. “I love you, too, Ladybug,” he said, certain that she just meant as a friend. He didn’t, but he knew that she knew that in turn. “And I know you can protect yourself. You’re strong, and capable, and have saved me and the city all by yourself countless times. And that… we protect each other.” He clenched his fists against the ground. “But… When you get h-hurt and I’m just… _watching_ , helpless, I can’t… I can’t…” Tears blurred his night vision again, rolling off his cheeks to drip on the rooftop.

“I know now that you want to protect me,” Ladybug said again, stroking his cheek with her fingertips. “I know that desire is a part of you. You _need_ to get hurt so I don’t. It’s part of your identity as Chat Noir. Your drive.”

He nodded. 

She continued speaking, moving her hand to the back of his neck and tugging him closer. They were nose-to-nose. “I’m sorry I didn’t understand that until now. Just how much you need it,” she said. “But I don’t have to like you throwing yourself in front of me all the time. You are my shield, Chat, but I don’t… Look, I know you want to protect me… I just...”

Chat sniffled. “I want to do more than protect you,” he said weakly. As he spoke, however, his voice grew stronger, with more conviction. “I want to share my life with you. All of my life. B-Both sides of me. I want to wake up with you next to me. I can’t bear the thought of you being hurt. I can’t bear to be without you.”

He knew the words he was saying were true, the truest he’d ever spoken. 

“I love you, Ladybug.”

_I love you, Marinette._

Her eyes filled with an appraising look. He stayed still under her scrutiny, wondering what decision she was making. 

Then she stood and took one step back from him. “I think I’m ready.” 

“You mean…” he started, squinting at her. His eyes widened when he realized what those words truly meant. “Your identity?”

She nodded, tears forming in her beautiful bluebell eyes. “Yes.” Holding her hand over her heart, she whispered, “Tikki, spots off.” The red transformation light--which glared green in his night vision--flowed down her body, and Adrien gasped.

There, standing in front of him next to her scarlet kwami, was Marinette. 

The love of his life. 

“I knew it was you,” he whispered, taking her tiny hand. 

“I knew you did,” Marinette said, smiling a little. She didn’t seem angry at him. Relief washed over Chat.

And then, surprise.

"How did you know I knew?" he said, tilting his head.

"You dropped plenty of hints--"

"Breadcrumbs."

"... Breadcrumbs. Yes," she said, beaming at him with her pretty lips. The smile reached her eyes, which glistened with tears. "But you yelling at Marinette for Ladybug being hurt clinched it for me."

She still didn't seem angry at him. Chat held onto that. 

Marinette continued peering at him. "I just don't know how you figured it out."

“I heard you talking to Alya about kissing someone other than Luka. As no one but Ladybug had kissed… that person, I put the pieces together.” 

He then recalled that Ladybug herself had told him that she’d kissed someone else. He wondered if she was trying to tell him in her own way, if she was leaving him breadcrumbs. 

He decided it didn’t matter.

It was his turn to reveal his identity. Now was his moment to shine.

Chat released her hand. “I,” he said, drawing a deep breath, “am Adrien Agreste. Plagg, claws in.” His transformation faded with a burst of green magic that traveled down his body. He stood there in front of Marinete and Tikki, feeling strangely naked.  
And free.

Plagg gave him an encouraging grin, but he only had eyes for Marinette. 

_What will she say? Please, say it quickly._

“I know,” Marinette said, smiling through tears.

That... was not what he expected.

“You… knew?” he said, his brows raising into his hairline. “For how long?”

“Of course I knew, Kitty,” she said, with a wet chuckle. “You passed out on me twice.”

Adiren couldn’t believe his ears. He slapped a hand on his forehead. “You knew all this time?”

“Yes.”

“I was so worried! I’ve been racking my brain, trying to figure out how to tell you, and you had already known since _January_.”

Adrien wanted to be mad at her. He wanted to be _furious_. He wanted to yell at her, clench his fists at her, ask her how she could have strung him along for so long, and whether she felt guilty about knowing his identity for almost half a year before he figured hers out. 

But he couldn’t. In that moment, he forgave her for everything. It was painful, like rebreaking a bone and setting it to heal, but he couldn’t be angry at her once he forgave her. His happiness and excitement at their mutual reveal blotted out any traces of vestigial rage. 

He threw his head back and laughed. 

She matched his laughter with a giggle of her own.

Then she frowned playfully, placing her hands on her hips. “I’m mad at you, you know.”

He started. “Why?”

“Chat never told Ladybug that he had a girlfriend.”

“To be fair,” he said, rubbing the back of his head, “she never told Chat she had a boyfriend, either. Not until after you’d broken up.” 

“That’s true,” Marinette said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Forgive me?”

“Only as long as you forgive me.”

“Already done,” she said, smiling up at him. He noticed, not for the first time, how much taller he’d grown. She was tiny compared to him. She’d fit perfectly under his arm, something he wanted to try soon.

He took her hands instead. “Are _we_ dating now? That ‘firm maybe’ stuff drove me crazy,” he griped, though he still couldn’t be mad at her. She was only doing what she had to to protect her civilian identity.

Guilt shone in her gorgeous, bluebell eyes. “I’m really sorry about that. I felt conflicted about my feelings for Adrien and Chat Noir.”

“But you knew Chat was me,” Adrien said, briefly placing a hand over his heart. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Pressing her chest against his, she cupped his cheeks in her hands and gave him a sweet, little kiss to his nose. “I’m sorry, Kitty. I just wasn’t ready.”

“It’s okay,” he said, chuckling at the cute gesture. He rested his hands on her hips. “Now we know.”

“Now we know.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“ _Please,_ ” she said huskily, and a thrill zinged through him.

He craned his neck and gently, _barely_ brushed his lips against hers. Then he pulled back with a smile, leaving her head tilted up, lips pursed. 

“Tease,” she said, and smacked him. He laughed, and leaned down to try to kiss her for real this time. 

But before their lips could meet, an akuma alert sounded on both of their phones.

Adrien threw his head back and groaned, closing his eyes. “He has the _worst_ timing.”

Marinette laughed. “He does. Meet you at the bakery afterwards?”

Adrien lowered his head to gaze into her eyes. His Lady stood by him. He always knew she’d cared for him, but now the knowledge that she loved him settled in his chest.

He was loved.

She loved him.

She _loved_ him.

And he knew, really _knew_ , that they’d be able to face anything Hawkmoth threw at them. Anything the _world_ threw at them.

Together. Forever.

His husky voice was slightly choked up as he said, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


End file.
